


Bitter at the Root

by GrandDukeForever



Series: The Depth of Obsession [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Dubious Consent, Incest, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Underage, Past Underage Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sibling Incest, Underage Drinking, Underage Kissing, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-24 02:13:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 53,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/933969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrandDukeForever/pseuds/GrandDukeForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm on a Pacific Rim kink meme kick, and this is the second one I promised to undertake, which reads: "One of the many things tearing Raleigh up so badly after Yancy's death is the fact that Yancy had been sexually abusing him since he was a child. But he still loved him, even though he had hated the abuse (which had continued into adulthood)."</p><p>Now while this version of Yancy I've written is much darker than the one in my previous fic, I also couldn't bring myself to make him completely twisted, so hopefully the OP will forgive me for that.  Anyway, this is probably the darkest story I'll ever write for our boys—the rest of the fill prompts I've collected (in attempts to tackle them) contain mostly requests for either a lot of angst or a lot of fluff.  So if that's more up your alley, then please do stay tuned as I assure you they are coming!  I will write for these boys until I can't write about them anymore.</p><p>Rated the way it is for the later chapters—this is very much still a work in progress.  As always, feedback is very much appreciated.  This will be a two-part series, eleven chapters each.</p><p>Original prompt can be found here: http://pacificrimkink.livejournal.com/350.html?thread=87390#t87390</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Possession

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raise_a_glass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raise_a_glass/gifts).
  * Translation into Español available: [Amargo en las Raices](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5700826) by [SopaOdair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SopaOdair/pseuds/SopaOdair)



> I don't think I've ever attempted a prompt this dark in my life! I've mostly been a LiveJournal lurker all these years; my first ever kink meme was probably Inception...and I think that's when I really first went into a writing frenzy. Anyway, I was mostly an anonymous filler then. It's nice to finally find a home for my fics now. I don't know why I didn't think of it back then, but I never bookmarked anything so I don't remember what I filled and I'm not even sure I could find my own fills again because my writing style has evolved so much, hahaha. 
> 
> Needless to say, I am VERY nervous about this project. Hopefully readers enjoy it, and I also hope that the OP finds this (and that it's to his/her satisfaction)!

Raleigh Becket was born on December 11, 1998. At the time, his older brother Yancy was three years old. Yancy doesn’t remember much from that year, but his parents have told him that since that day, the two were inseparable. According to their mother, Yancy had taken to the idea of having a little brother right away, even going so far as to insist on helping with every aspect his parents would allow in taking care of Raleigh. 

It’s now a year later, and Yancy is four. He’s taught his brother to crawl, and he’s now trying to teach his brother how to walk, but it’s not working so well. Yancy gets out his toys whenever he gets frustrated with Raleigh’s lack of progress and just plays with his brother. He is mindful to remember which toys his mom told him could harm his brother, and he doesn’t get mad when Raleigh starts sucking on some of his blocks. He thinks it’s cute. 

Yancy is the one who feeds his brother at mealtimes, because Raleigh won’t eat otherwise. His older brother takes pride in that. 

People commend the Beckets on their parenting, and they praise Yancy for being such a great older brother. Yancy doesn’t do it for the compliments though. Yancy takes care of his brother because in his mind, his brother belongs to him and only him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. This is a message to the OP. This fic is your request as is. The "sequel" will be the "alternate ending" I was referring to on the original prompt.


	2. Jealousy

Yancy hates being in school, because it means he has to be away from his brother for a while. When he was in kindergarten, it was somewhat bearable because he would only have to be in school for half the day. Yancy is six years old now though, in the first grade, and he really despises having to be at school for the full day. For the first week of school he can’t focus on what he’s supposed to be learning—he can only think about how unfair it is that his mother gets to stay home all day, and how she and Raleigh must be bonding more now since Yancy is out of the picture. Yancy doesn’t like the idea one bit and worries that at the rate things are going, his brother will eventually forget he exists.

He tells his mom his concerns one day after school, and she tells him something that helps change his mind, if only a little. She tells Yancy that he should do his best to learn so that when he comes home, he can teach little Raleigh everything he knows; things his parents have forgotten because it’s been so long since they’ve learned it. From that point on, Yancy pays extra attention in class, aces his lessons, and when he comes home he teaches little Raleigh everything from letters to basic arithmetic. It doesn’t matter to him that Raleigh doesn’t really seem to understand anything he’s saying; it’s enough that his brother just sits next to him quietly and listens to him speak. 

At some point, Yancy learns about the joy of reading books, and this instantly becomes his favorite pastime. He brings home small stacks of books from the school library, as much as his little arms can carry, and reads to his brother every night before bed. Yancy likes this because he can keep Raleigh on his lap while he does it. He likes feeling the warmth of his little brother’s frame against his, and he likes it especially when Raleigh starts getting sleepy because he turns around and latches onto Yancy. This is usually when Yancy puts the book away and wraps the covers around them. He never bothers turning out the light because he knows one of his parents will come by and do it later anyway. Besides, he doesn’t want to wake his baby brother up.

One day, Yancy is read a book at school by the librarian where the prince wakes the princess by giving her “true love’s kiss.” When the story ends and it’s time to ask questions, Yancy’s hand is one of the first to shoot up and when he gets called on he asks what does it mean to have a true love. He’s told that true love is the same as that very special person to your heart. Yancy asks if he’s too young to have one. The librarian, thinking this is a cute question, laughs and says no. The boy thinks about it, and then he smiles and tells her that in that case, he thinks he has one. The librarian smiles in response and thinks that’s the most adorable thing she’s heard all day, not realizing she’s helped to spark something unexpected within the young boy.

That night, Yancy gives his gleeful baby brother a smushy kiss on the lips. When the toddler looks up at him in confusion, Yancy quietly explains to him that Raleigh is his true love and that’s why he gets to have Yancy’s kisses. Little Raleigh’s brows are furrowed, but when Yancy does it again, he thinks it’s a game and starts pecking his brother back enthusiastically. He’s too young to realize the smile his brother wears is not one typical to most six-year-olds.


	3. Isolation

Yancy is eight years old when Raleigh enters the first grade. He takes great pride in the fact that he had a huge hand in helping his five-year-old brother skip kindergarten. Though the school was reluctant to advance him because they feared the older kids would bully Raleigh because of his age, they ended up doing so because it was clear Raleigh was running circles around his classmates, and he was developing destructive behavior due to boredom. After a week, he was bumped up to the first grade, and there Raleigh was able to truly thrive. As for the bullying issue, the faculty needn’t have worried; Yancy had that covered.

He found out about the first incident at recess. Raleigh was sitting on a swing, his eyes downcast. Yancy, excited to spend his first recess with his brother, enthusiastically bounded up to his brother. His smile, however, quickly transformed into a frown when he saw that Raleigh had band-aids on his knees and on the palms of his hands. At first, he refused to look up at Yancy out of shame.

“Rals. What happened?” Yancy asked him angrily. “Who did this to you?”

“No one,” Raleigh said stubbornly.

“Raleigh!”

“What you going to do?” Raleigh asked. “They’re already calling me tattletale for telling the teacher on them.”

“Did they push you down?” Yancy asked.

Raleigh nodded and kicked at the ground with one foot. “Yeah. They pushed me. They’ve been calling me names too.”

Yancy’s eyes narrowed. “What kind of names?”

“Saying I’m a smarty-pants and a big baby...” Raleigh said, tears filling his eyes. “Told me I’m nothing special just because I skipped kindergarten.”

“Well they’re wrong!” Yancy declared.

He grabbed his brother by the shoulders and Raleigh looked up at him. “Think so?”

“I know so,” Yancy said with a sure nod. “You are special. They’re just jealous because they’re not as smart as you, and you’re no tattletale, Rals. You did what you’re supposed to. Those kids shouldn’t say anything if they can’t handle getting in trouble.”

He started kissing his brother’s injuries gently, and he smiled when Raleigh started to giggle.

“Yancy! Stop! That tickles!”

Yancy grinned. “Well, that’s better than them hurting, right?”

Raleigh smiled. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Good,” Yancy said and then pecked two more kisses on his brother’s cheeks before asking his next question. “So tell me who they are, Raleigh. How many of them?”

“Three,” Raleigh said.

“All right,” said Yancy. “They boys or girls?”

“All boys.”

Yancy grinned. “Even better. They all first graders like you?”

Raleigh nodded. “Uh-huh.”

“What’s their names, Rals?”

Raleigh worried his lower lip and his brows furrowed slightly. “Mm...I don’t know if it’s a good idea to tell you that.”

Yancy frowned. “Well why not?”

“What you going to do, anyhow?” Raleigh asked. “Fight them?”

“Maybe,” Yancy said, sticking out his chin.

Raleigh’s eyes grew round. “You can’t, Yancy! They’re real big!”

“They’re real what? Big? Hah! Maybe to you, Rals, but not to me!” Yancy said, throwing his head back and laughing. “You don’t have to worry about me, little brother.”

“Still...” said Raleigh. “I don’t want you getting in trouble, either.”

Yancy smiled and affectionately ruffled his brother’s hair. “Aww...you worried about me, kid?”

Raleigh frowned and swatted Yancy’s hand away. “No...I just don’t want you to get in trouble, that’s all. And I’m not a kid.”

Yancy laughed. “Oh yeah? Well if you’re not, then prove it. Tell me who those boys are that are picking on you.”

“What do they have to do with it?”

Yancy smirked. “Because only babies keep secrets like that. And you’re not a baby, are you, Rals?”

Raleigh crossed his arms. “No, I’m not.”

“So what are their names?”

Raleigh sighed. “Mark, Andrew, and Jeff.”

“They the only ones with those names in your grade?” Yancy asked.

“Huh?”

“There’s no one else in your class with the same names?”

“Oh,” said Raleigh. “No. Well, there’s two Jeff’s.”

“Which one is the one that hurt you? What’s his last name?”

“Don’t know,” Raleigh said with a shrug. “But he’s the only one that’s friends with Mark and Andrew.”

“Okay,” said Yancy. “So what do they look like?”

“Mm...Mark’s the tallest one,” said Raleigh. “And the meanest.”

“All right,” Yancy said, nodding. “And Andrew?”

“He’s got blonde hair and he’s real skinny,” said Raleigh. “Jeff and Mark both have brown hair.”

“Okay,” said Yancy. “Anything else?”

“They like to play basketball.”

“They do, huh?” Yancy said, looking over his shoulder back at the basketball courts. “They there now?”

Raleigh leaned so he could look around his brother and squinted. “Mm...yeah! That’s them by the third hoop.”

“Which one is the third hoop, Raleigh?” Yancy asked patiently.

Raleigh got up from the swing and took his brother’s hand. He pointed at three boys standing under a basketball hoop on the far left of the blacktop.

“That one, Yance!”

“Oh, _them_ ,” Yancy said, nodding. “Yeah, all right. I see ‘em. You wait right here, okay, Rals? Just keep swinging.”

Raleigh’s eyes grew round. “What you gonna do, Yance?”

“Don’t you worry ‘bout what I’m gonna do,” said Yancy. “You just worry about swingin’. And if anyone asks you if you know what’s going on, you’re just going to tell them you don’t, okay?”

Raleigh frowned. “Yancy, I don’t know...”

“Rals!”

Raleigh flinched slightly. “Ah...yeah, okay...I’ll just keep swinging then...”

He smiled a little when Yancy kissed him on top of his head. “That’s a good boy, Rals. Don’t worry, I won’t do anything bad. Promise.”

Raleigh nodded. “Okay.”

“ _Not yet, anyway,”_ Yancy thought as his brother let go of his hand and hopped back on the swing.

He marched on over to where the boys that Raleigh had pointed out to him were; they had just started a game of hoops. They stopped when Yancy walked up to them. The tallest kid, who Yancy guessed was Mark, stopped what he was doing and looked at Yancy. The boy seemed a little unsure of what to make of Yancy’s presence.

“You Mark?” Yancy asked him. “First grade?”

Suddenly the kid looked nervous and he wet his lips before responding. “Yeah...I am. What’s it to ya?”

Yancy ignored him for a minute and honed in on the other two. “And you guys are Jeff and Andrew?”

The other two boys nodded and moved closer to and behind the boy named Mark. Yancy took another step towards them and flashed a chilling smile.

“I saw what you boys did to my kid brother.”

“B-brother?” Mark asked. “W-who?”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” said Yancy. “My brother’s name is Raleigh Becket. You know, the one you call tattletale and what else was it?”

“Ohhh, _that kid!_ ” the boy named Andrew laughed. “Little baby teacher’s pet—ow!”

Andrew frowned when Mark jabbed him hard in the ribs. “Hey, what’chu do that for?”

“ _Shut up_ , Andy!” Mark hissed.

“What? You’re the one who started calling him—hey!” Andrew yelped when Yancy grabbed him roughly by the arm.

The older boy brought his face close to Andrew’s. “You think that’s funny, kid?"

“Ow! What’s wrong with you? Get off! Please!”

“Yeah, get off ‘im!” cried Jeff.

The boy’s lips pressed into a thin line when Yancy flashed him a glare. Andrew whimpered when Yancy began to twist his arm.

“No, you guys listen to me first,” Yancy growled. “If I ever hear any of y’all lay a finger on my brother again, I’ll beat you all within an inch of your life, you hear?”

He twisted Andrew’s arm some more when the boy didn’t reply. “Hey!”

“I couldn’t hear you,” said Yancy.

“Yeah, okay, okay!” Andrew said. “Just please, let me go!”

“Well alright then,” Yancy said before shoving Andrew away.

The boy turned and looked at Yancy with angry eyes. “You’re not gonna get away with this you know!”

“What you gon’ do?” Yancy asked. “Tell the teacher? Be a tattletale? Oh! Or better yet, tell your _mommy?_ Like a real baby?”

Andrew’s lips quivered. “I...I...!”

“C-come on, Andy, let’s just go,” said Mark. “Jeff, you too, come on.”

“But...!”

“Come _on!_ ” Mark said through gritted teeth.

Yancy watched them until the boys had scurried back towards the school building. Yancy then turned around and went back to his brother. He smiled to see that Raleigh appeared to be completely focused on his swinging. He whistled to get his brother’s attention. Raleigh looked up and a smile spread across his face.

“Yancy!” he shouted. “You’re okay!”

“Yeah, I told you not to worry,” Yancy said, walking up to his brother.

Raleigh began to dig his heels into the mulch, trying to slow himself down. He laughed when Yancy ran up to him as he swung backward. Yancy outstretched his arms.

“Jump, Rals!”

“Kay!”

Raleigh flew off the swing and Yancy caught him. He took a few quick steps back so that the now erratically moving swing wouldn’t hit his brother on the backside. Unfortunately, it caused him to lose his balance and he ended up falling on his bottom. Raleigh settled safely on his lap. Raleigh was still giggling, but his brows were furrowed together in concern for his brother. He patted his brother’s cheeks.

“You okay, Yancy?”

“Yeah, m’fine, Rals.”

Raleigh smiled. “Good.”

He leaned forward and surprised his older brother with a quick smack of their lips. Yancy stiffened in his posture and his eyes darted around.

“Raleigh!” he hissed.

“What?” Raleigh asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“I told you not to do that outside.”

“No one saw!”

“Doesn’t matter,” Yancy said, somewhat exasperated. “We made a promise, remember, Rals?”

“Yeah, I know,” Raleigh said pouting. “I just wanted to.”

Yancy cracked a small smile. “I know...but let’s try to not do that unless we’re home, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Raleigh mumbled.

Just then the bell rang. Yancy nudged playfully at his brother.

“Hey. Race you back inside.”

A grin spread across his little brother’s face. “Last one in's a rotten egg!”

Yancy laughed and gently lifted his brother off and placed him on the mulch. “Well, better hurry up then, I’m gonna leave you in my dust!”

Then, true to his word, Yancy kicked off into a sprint. Raleigh laughed and chased after him, wiping the mulch with his hands off his behind.  
  
“No fair, Yance! You’ve got longer legs!”

“Big boys don’t complain, Rals!”

“I’ll show you!”

“Oh will you now?”

“Yeah, watch!”

At the very last minute, Yancy slowed to a walk, partly to allow his brother to win. The other half of the reason was because he saw the assistant principal coming down the hall to walk through the doors leading outside. He stifled a laugh when his younger brother ran into the man’s leg. The vice principal frowned.

“Young man, you shouldn’t be running so quickly like that. Someone could get hurt.”

Raleigh’s eyes grew round and he was completely at a loss for words, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Yancy saved the day by coming up behind his brother and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry ‘bout that, sir,” he said. “I was just walking my brother back to his classroom and he got a little ahead of himself.”

“Ah, Becket,” the gentleman said, nodding over in Raleigh’s direction with a smile. “So this is the little brother you’ve spoken so highly about.”

Yancy puffed out his chest with pride. “Yes, sir! Skipped right into first grade.”

“Yes, that’s very good,” the vice principal said, looking over at Raleigh. “Your name, son?”

“Go on, tell him your name,” Yancy encouraged, nudging Raleigh gently in the back.

This seemed to snap his brother out of his stupor. “R-Raleigh. It’s Raleigh."

“Well it’s very nice to meet you, Raleigh,” said the man. “Now, I’m just going to give you a warning on account of your brother here, but next time please remember that there is no running in the school building. You understand?”

Raleigh nodded. “O-okay.”

“Good,” the man said with a smile before nodding at Yancy. “You boys are free to go.”

“Thank you, sir!” Yancy said as he took his brother by the hand and began guiding them down the hall.

One of Raleigh’s small hands flew to his heart. “Phew! I thought we were in big trouble!”

Yancy laughed. “Yeah, good thing I was there to save you, huh?”

“Yeah, but it was your fault we started running,” Raleigh said, frowning.

“Not my fault you didn’t see the vice principal coming,” Yancy said with a grin.

“You should’ve warned me!”

“Hey, you were going too fast,” said Yancy. “Besides, you beat me.”

“Huh? Oh yeah! I did, didn’t I?” Raleigh said, perking up.

“Sure did, kid,” Yancy said, ruffling his brother’s hair.

He laughed when his brother swatted away his hand again. “M’not a baby!”

“No, you’re not,” Yancy agreed. “But you’re still my little brother, so I can call you whatever I want. Besides, I don’t mean the same thing those little snots did.”

Raleigh looked up at him curiously. “You don’t?”

“Course not,” said Yancy.

“What’s it mean when you say it, then?”

“That you’re special to me,” Yancy said, tapping Raleigh lightly on the nose.

Raleigh giggled at first, but then his expression went dark when they got to his classroom. Yancy frowned and bent down on one knee so that he could be face-to-face with his brother and patted his sibling on the arms.

“Hey...hey, look at me, Rals.”

Raleigh met his eyes reluctantly. Yancy’s face wore a serious expression.

“They bother you again...you let me know right away, all right?”

Raleigh nodded. “Yeah...”

Yancy frowned and shook his brother gently. “Hey. I can’t hear you.”

Raleigh swallowed and spoke at a more audible volume. “Okay.”

“Good,” Yancy said with a smile. “Now get to class. I’ll pick you up after.”

He immediately missed the warmth of his little brother’s hand when Raleigh turned to go into his classroom. Yancy had been about to leave himself when Raleigh looked over his shoulder and smiled at his brother.

“Don’t be late, Yance.”

Yancy grinned. “I won’t. See you later, Rals.”

From that day forward, Raleigh ran into very little trouble with the older kids, or with any kids, for that matter. The few who dared always learned very quickly never to make the same mistake again. Rumors would eventually circulate about the Beckets—the girls swooned and the boys kept their distance. For the most part, Raleigh was oblivious to the real reason why people around him regarded him either in awe or with fear—he thought it was due to his charm. Little did he know that Yancy had, over the years, created a sort of invisible barrier around him, along with the instructions that not a soul was to let his brother know what was really going on, lest they suffer the consequences.


	4. Demand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I threw in some OCs in here (please don't steal them)...and they unexpectedly took a life of their own. Hope you like them, because you'll probably see them pop up in other chapters as well, though as for how much they will, right now it's kind of hard to say. I know these things can be written in a way that it's hit-or-miss, so hopefully they don't make anyone cringe!

Raleigh didn't mind that Yancy always insisted on taking him everywhere he went. In fact, Raleigh liked it, because it made him feel like one of the cool kids. The best part was, hanging out with Yancy gave Raleigh the reputation of being one of the “untouchables” at school. He was the genius kid with a super hot older brother. Thanks to Yancy's decidedly good looks and positive reputation, Raleigh was basically treated like a prince by his peers. Everyone wanted to get on Yancy's good side, and somewhere along the line they had learned that the key to doing that was by doing right by his little brother. In a few years, Raleigh wouldn't need to ride off of Yancy's legacy, because he'd eventually grow out of his awkwardness and would turn into a pretty good looker himself, but it would be roughly two to three more years before even that happened.

Yancy had two good friends growing up; Jeremy Daniels and Kyle Hunter. The three of them were always together—they'd met during their last year of elementary school and had been close ever since. They, like anyone else who got to know Yancy, learned quickly that the Becket brothers came as a package deal. Kyle never seemed to mind, but Jeremy was very open about his displeasure with the arrangement. Perhaps that was why he and Yancy fought so often. The only reason they were still able to maintain their friendship after all these years was partly thanks to Kyle being their buffer, but also because at the end of the day, both were very good young men at their core. If there was one thing Yancy valued as much as his brother, it was loyalty, and Jeremy knew deep down that trustworthy friends weren't easy to come by, even at his young age.

Jeremy's father was a construction worker and his mother was an office concierge with a chain smoking habit. Thanks to her, Jeremy had easy access to cigarettes and he always made a habit of swiping a few when he thought he could get away with it. His father didn't smoke, but Jeremy thought doing so made him look more like a man. Kyle was the son of two Navy Seals and was currently staying with his grandparents while his parents were on tour overseas. His grandmother made the best home-cooked meals for him daily, and his grandfather taught him how to gamble and drink booze. The Becket boys did all right—their mother was a homemaker, and their father was a mechanic who got them a pair of dirt bikes with helmets for one Christmas. With their resources pooled together, Yancy and his buddies were the epitome of everything a girl could dream about and all a guy could ever hope to be. Which is why Yancy and Jeremy often got into arguments about Raleigh tagging along with them after school, especially when they were going to a place where they could chat up the ladies.

“Seriously, Yancy,” Jeremy said one day while they were hanging out in a wooded area by their middle school. “Can't you just leave the kid at home for once? You know there's going to be a ton of girls at Mandy's pool party this weekend. If you bring him, those girls are going to be looking at anywhere but us. Come on, you know how it goes.”

Yancy frowned and gently squeezed his little brother's hand, which he was holding. “Listen Jerry. First of all, don't talk about my kid brother like he ain't standing here right in front of your face. That's disrespectful. Second of all—”

He snatched the cigarette hanging out of Jeremy's mouth with his free hand and then threw it on the ground before stomping it out. Jeremy glared at Yancy.

“Hey! What you do that for, huh?”

“Relax, Jack,” Kyle said with a half-smile—Jack was his nickname for Jeremy because of his last name; the other two boys didn't get it at first until Kyle explained that Jack Daniel's was the name of a whiskey his granddad liked to drink. “Yancy's just doing it for your health. You know we're all too young to be having out lungs turn black.”

Jeremy frowned. “Well, I don't really give a damn. Not like you're one to talk though, booze boy.”

Yancy glared at Jeremy. “Hey, watch your language around my brother.”

“Or what you goin' do about it, _hot shot?_ ” Jeremy asked, getting in Yancy's face.

“Hey, hey, break it up guys,” Kyle said, getting in between the boys and trying to push them away from each other.

“Yeah, don't fight, Yance,” Raleigh said, tugging at his brother's hand. “Please?”

Yancy's free hand was curled tightly into a fist and his jaw was clenched, but he did choose to stand down.

“All right,” he said, keeping his eyes locked on Jeremy's. “Only because that's what you want, Rals.”

Jeremy flared. “What? You can't be serious, right? You goin' let the little bitch run you?”

Kyle groaned. “God damn it, Jeremy! Do you ever know when to shut up?”

Yancy dropped Raleigh's hand. He tilted his head to one side.

“Get over there, kid.”

“But...”

“I said... _get over there_ , Raleigh.”

“O-okay...”

Kyle looked at Yancy, exasperated. “Now come on, Yancy...you know he didn't mean it...he's just sore because you put out his cigarette.”

“You think I'm an idiot, Kyle?” Yancy asked. “I know this ain't about no stinkin' cigarette.”

Kyle tried his best to hold both boys back with his hands. Jeremy pushed against the hand at his chest and tried to get back in Yancy's face.

“You're just lucky Kyle is holding me back,” said Jeremy. “I ain't scared of you, man! I'm tired of your big ass head and your fucking baby brother complex.”

“Dang it, Jeremy!” Kyle snapped, but it was too little too late.

Raleigh's eyes grew round and everything happened very quickly; it always did when Yancy really lost his temper. In two swift motions he had kneed Kyle in the gut, surprising him and causing him to curl into a ball and groan in pain on the ground, and punched Jeremy square in the nose, causing the boy to yelp and fall flat on his back while nursing his face in his hands.

“Augh!” Jeremy cried out. “Ah dink you ducking dwoke by bose, ban!”

“Good,” Yancy sneered. “You can thank me later for the free nose job. Maybe when it heals later it'll actually look straight.”

“Duck you!”

“Quack, quack,” Yancy said dryly.

He looked down apologetically at Kyle, who was still writhing a little in pain. “Sorry about that, Kyle. You shouldn't have gotten in the way, man. Jerry got what was coming to him. I'll make it up to you later.”

Kyle only groaned in response. Yancy turned to Raleigh and tilted his head back in the direction of their middle school.

“Come on, Rals. Let's get out of here.”

Raleigh took an uncertain step toward his brother. “But Yance...what about—”

Yancy shook his head. “They can take care of themselves. I didn't hurt Kyle that bad, and Jeremy's just being a baby. If he needs help, Kyle can take care of it; he'll probably get up soon. Ain't that right, Kyle?”

Kyle waved Yancy away, still groaning. Yancy looked down at his younger brother and grinned.

“See? Kyle's fine. He probably just needs a few more minutes.”

“But...”

“Let's _go_ , Raleigh,” Yancy said, holding out his hand to Raleigh and a light frown starting to form across his features.

Raleigh gulped and quickly took hold of his brother's hand. “A-all right!”

He didn't complain, even when his brother pulled him a little roughly along. Before the other two boys were completely out of sight, Raleigh glanced back once over his shoulder to see Kyle staggering over to Jeremy's side. He barely caught the tail-end of Jeremy's angry words.

“...done wib hib, ban! M'jus done!”

Tears stung Raleigh's eyes and he suddenly became very fascinated with his feet. For what it was worth, he liked Jeremy and Kyle, and he really hoped Yancy wasn't going to lose his best friends because of him.

They spent the forty-five minute walk home in mostly silence. Yancy had asked Raleigh a few questions, but his younger brother had been too distracted to give more than short, clipped answers. When they finally made it back to their shared room, Yancy confronted him.

“All right, what's wrong with you, Rals?” Yancy asked. “It's not like you to be so quiet.”

Raleigh shook his head. Yancy frowned.

“No, no, kid. Don't give me that,” said Yancy. “You like this 'cause of Jeremy? Don't even give a second thought to what that kid says about you, it ain't worth it.”

Raleigh shook his head again. “That's not what I'm worried about, Yancy.”

His brother raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? All right. Then what is?”

“I don't want you, Jeremy, and Kyle to stop being friends because of me,” said Raleigh. “I _like_ them, Yance. I can stay home and do other things if it'll help.”

Yancy shook his head. “That's ridiculous, Raleigh! Jeremy just needs to get his head out from under him, that's all.”

Raleigh crossed his arms over his chest. “I think you were a little too mean though, today. You should apologize to them, Yancy.”

His older brother let out a sigh and rubbed the back of his neck.  “You really want me to fix this, don’t you, kid?”

Raleigh looked down at his feet and shrugged.  “I dunno, Yance…”

Yancy frowned.  “Hey.  Look at me.”

Raleigh lifted his head.  Yancy looked into his eyes, his own expression unreadable.

“You really like Jeremy and Kyle?” Yancy asked.

Raleigh nodded.  The muscles in Yancy’s jaw twitched slightly.

“How much?” he asked.

Raleigh tilted his head and looked at his brother in confusion.  “Huh?”

“How much you like ‘em?” Yancy repeated.  “As much as me…?  More than me?”

There was a dangerous edge to Yancy’s voice, but Raleigh—being the unassuming way he was around his brother—didn’t even notice it.  He frowned at his brother’s question.

“What are you talking about, Yancy?” Raleigh asked.  “I just said I like them.  I never said anything about liking them more than you.”

Yancy’s posture relaxed slightly.  “But you could.”

Raleigh shook his head, still frowning.  “But I don’t.  Yancy.  I don’t think I can like anyone as much as you.  I love you.”

It was the absolute right and wrong thing to say, all at the same time.  Yancy straightened and a the corners of his lips twitched slightly upward.

“You love me, Rals?”

Raleigh rolled his eyes.  “That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

An unabashed smile spread across Yancy’s face.  “Yeah...you did.  Love you too, kid.”

He ruffled Raleigh’s hair and then turned to leave the room.  Raleigh called out to his brother, confusion evident in his tone.

“Where you going, Yance?”

Yancy turned to look back at his brother.  “To the phone.  I’ve got a couple apologies to make, don’t I?”

“You’re gonna make up with Jeremy and Kyle?” Raleigh asked, a small smile forming on his face.

“Yeah,” Yancy said with a nod.  “Isn’t that what you want, kid?”

“Yes…” Raleigh answered somewhat hesitantly, as if he were unsure whether or not his older brother was asking him a trick question.  “You want to too, don’t you?”

Yancy smiled.  “Of course I do, Rals.  I always want what you do.”

“You do?” Raleigh asked, looking at his brother curiously.

His brother nodded.  “I do.”

“Why?” Raleigh asked, not really sure why he was asking, only that part of him felt like he should.

“Because I want to,” said Yancy.  “Because it’s important for me to see you happy…and because I love you.  You’re all that matters to me, Rals.”

Raleigh’s brows knitted together.  “I am?”

“You are,” Yancy said, nodding.  “Now sit tight, squirt.  I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Mm...okay,” Raleigh said, hopping onto the bed as Yancy walked out the door.  “Hey, Yancy?”

“Yeah?” his brother responded, poking his head back in the room.  “What is it, Rals?”

Raleigh felt a flush rise in his cheeks.  “Can you...can you read to me in bed like you used to?  I mean, I know I can read myself now, but—”

“Of course I can, kid,” Yancy said, cutting his brother off.  “I’d love to.”

Raleigh brightened.  “Really?”

“Yeah,” said Yancy.  “I’ll do anything you want.”

Then Yancy went back out of sight.  Raleigh listened to his brother’s fading footsteps as he padded through the hall and down the stairs.  Raleigh wrapped the blankets around himself as a slight shiver ran through his body.  There was something about Yancy’s last statement that Raleigh wasn’t too sure about, though it was not so much what his brother said as it was how Yancy had said it.


	5. Corruption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I don't want to jinx anything, but I think I'm really on a roll here in terms of updating, and it really is because of the support I'm getting. Thanks to OP and bluebluebonnet for the consistent feedback; it's really helpful. With luck, I'll have at least one more update up by tonight, which is already one more update than I had been expecting to write. I don't think I've ever posted updates this quickly in my life!

If it weren’t for his younger brother, Yancy might not had remained friends with Jeremy and Kyle. The three older boys were in high school now, all at the age of sixteen. Raleigh had joined them that year as a freshman, still a year ahead of his age group and the youngest in his entering class. The younger Becket was nearing the end of his awkward years, and pretty soon he’d go through a much needed growth spurt and start turning some heads.

Raleigh still tagged along with his brother pretty much everywhere he went, and Jeremy no longer kicked up much of a fuss, partly because Raleigh wasn’t looking like such a little kid anymore but mostly because he had gotten used to having Yancy’s little brother around. It turned out, Jeremy actually occasionally liked playing the big brother role himself, and he’d sometimes take the time to introduce Raleigh to things Yancy couldn’t, like how to tile a roof and other basics of construction work. Now when Jeremy and Yancy got into fights, it was over how close Raleigh was getting to Jeremy.

The tension between the two boys got particularly heated one day when Yancy found out Jeremy was teaching his little brother a thing or two about girls. Yancy waited until he was able to isolate his friend before confronting him. He did it right after they had gotten off the bus and all the other kids had dispersed to go home. It was just him, Jeremy and Kyle—Yancy had told Raleigh to wait to get off at their usual stop and walk home by himself. Raleigh reluctantly agreed only after Yancy promised him that he’d be home for dinner. Raleigh told his brother that he’d be waiting.

A thick, heavy silence fell upon the three boys. Yancy and Jeremy were locked in an unofficial staring contest, and Kyle’s eyes darted between his two friends, the fingers on one of his hands fidgeting nervously.

“Well?” Jeremy said tartly. “What is it this time, Yancy? Spit it out. I can tell you’re pissed about something.”

The tips of Yancy’s ears were turning pink. “You showin’ my brother some pictures from dirty magazines, Jerry?”

Jeremy’s stern expression changed to that of amusement. “Oh, _that’s_ what this is about? You serious, Yancy?”

Yancy frowned. “S’not funny, man.”

“Hah! Sure it is! _Come on,_ Yancy!” said Jeremy. “Get a grip, dude! The kid’s got to learn about the birds and the bees sometime.”

“Sure, but not from you,” Yancy said, shaking his head. “And sure as hell not the way you’re teaching it. The kid’s too young for all that shit.”

“Oh _please_ , Yancy,” said Jeremy. “Don’t act like we weren’t looking at ‘all that shit’ when we were his age.”

“No, _you_ might have,” Yancy said, jabbing a finger at Jeremy’s chest. “But I sure didn’t spend all my allowance on that pile of junk.”

“Hey, I'll have you know that it’s quality literature!” Jeremy snapped. “Not my fault if you can’t get yours up reading them.”

“Why, you little mo—”

“Hey!” Kyle said, finally stepping in to intervene. “Guys! Knock it off, seriously! Are we going to keep doing this every time?”

The two other boys addressed their friend in unison. “Shut up, Kyle!”

“No! _Y’all_ shut up! _Both_ of you!” Kyle barked. “Seriously! I’ve had it up to here with all your bullshit. Jeremy. Stop showing Yancy’s brother pictures of scantily clad women without the man’s permission.”

“Who are you, my mother?”

“No, but you know exactly how to piss Yancy off, and you also know that that’s what sets you the fuck off,” said Kyle. “So stop fucking doing it. It’s annoying as shit.”

“Whatever. You’re always taking his side, man,” Jeremy grumbled.

“The hell I am!” said Kyle. “Honestly, sometimes I don’t know what I’m thinking still hanging out with you guys, the walking time bombs the two of you are.”

Kyle sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The other two boys fell silent.

“But you two are the only best friends I’ve got,” Kyle continued. “So I guess that’s why I put up with all the crap.”

He looked between his two friends. “Jeremy? You go on home, man. Cool your head. We’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

Jeremy stuck out his chin. “Fine. Only ‘cause I don’t want to piss you off too, Kyle. Later.”

Kyle let out another sigh and shook his head as Jeremy turned to walk away.

“Fucking hot head,” he muttered before turning to his other friend. “Yancy. You and me. Let’s walk.”

Yancy half-smiled. “What, now you’re my sitter?”

“Don’t be an ass,” Kyle said, smiling a little despite himself. “Our homes are in the same direction anyhow. Besides, I think we should talk.”

They began walking the opposite direction from Jeremy. Yancy shrugged.

“Talk about what?” he asked. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Sure there is, man,” said Kyle. “You know Jeremy isn’t trying to take your place or anything, right?”

“Damn right he’d better not be,” Yancy said darkly. “I’m the only brother Raleigh needs.”

Kyle frowned. “See? That’s it right there. You need to lose that attitude, man.”

Yancy scoffed. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“I don’t, do I?” Kyle said tiredly. “Man...we get it, okay? Jeremy and I both do. You have a brother complex.”

“What’s your point, Kyle?”

“My _point_ ,” said Kyle. “Is that it’s okay to love your brother, but you’re taking things a step too far—you always have. You can’t protect the kid from everything, man, and you sure as hell can’t keep on holding his hand forever. Raleigh’s got to grow up sometime.”

“He’s growing up just fine,” Yancy said stubbornly.

“Yeah, on _your_ terms,” Kyle said with a frown. “Listen, man. I can’t say I know what it’s like, since I don’t have siblings myself, but I’m pretty sure you’re taking this protectiveness thing to a whole 'nother level.”

“Well if you don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Yancy. “Then you should probably mind your own business then, shouldn’t you?”

“Yancy!” Kyle said with exasperation.

“Ky-le,” Yancy said mockingly.

Kyle shook his head. “Look man, your baby brother's a genius, but book smarts will only take him so far in life. You're not helping him by keeping him in the dark about everything else. You've really sheltered him, Yancy. Despite how much he knows academically, people could really take advantage of him. It's amazing to me how he doesn't know about even half the things you and I knew at around his age.”

Yancy didn't respond, but he frowned at his friend's words. The boys were about to walk up to Yancy’s house when the front door flew open. Raleigh ran up to them with a huge smile on his face.

“Yancy!”

Kyle watched as Yancy wrapped his brother in a warm bear hug. “Heya, Rals.”

“What took you so long?” Raleigh asked. “Where’s Jeremy?”

“Had to go home first,” Yancy said before looking over at Kyle. “You want to join us for dinner?”

“Nah, dude,” Kyle said, shaking his head and looking between the two brothers. “Yancy...you’ll think about what I said, won’t you?”

Yancy had one arm wrapped possessively around Raleigh’s waist and was absently ruffling his brother’s hair with his other hand. He gave Kyle a half-smile.

“Yeah, all right.”

Kyle nodded. “See you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

Raleigh looked up at his brother curiously as they walked back into the house. “Yancy? What’s he talking about? What did Kyle say to you?”

Yancy let out a sigh. “He thinks...well, he thinks that I’m not doing such a good job of being your older brother.”

Raleigh frowned. “What? That’s ridiculous, Yancy! You’re the best big brother ever!”

“Thanks, Rals,” Yancy said with a small smile. “But you know...I think he might be right about one thing.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“Raleigh…” Yancy said, seemingly about to change the subject. “What time did mom and dad say they were going to be home today?”

“Mm...not until late, I think, why?” Raleigh asked.

Yancy’s fingers trailed absently across his younger brother’s back; his eyes grew clouded and his expression unreadable. “Let’s go to our room first, Rals. I think it’s about time I showed you something.”

Raleigh shrugged. “Okay. Whatever you say, Yancy.”

Yancy half-smiled. “Good kid.”

The older Becket felt his mouth start to dry as he led his unsuspecting brother up the stairs. Raleigh’s hand felt hot in his own. There was a rational part of Yancy that was yelling loudly at him not to do what it was he was about to do, but there was a greater part of him that just couldn’t help himself.

“So you said Jeremy showed you some naughty pictures earlier today, didn’t you?” Yancy asked.

He looked out of the corner of his eye and saw his brother flush. “Um...y-yeah…”

Yancy slightly tightened his grip on his brother’s hand. “Well...did you like ‘em, Rals?”

Raleigh’s face turned a deeper shade of red. “I-I dunno, Yance...m-maybe…”

When they got inside their shared room, Yancy shut the door behind them and clicked the lock into place. Raleigh looked up at his brother questioningly.

“Yancy…?”

The smile on his older brother’s face was half-apologetic, and partly feral. “Jerry and Kyle think I haven't been doing completely right by you. They think it's about time I stepped it up and taught you some things.”

Raleigh's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Like what? What do you mean, Yancy?”

“I _mean_...” Yancy said, trailing a finger down the side of Raleigh's face. “About stuff big boys know about. Things older kids do. Like sex.”

His little brother let out a small gasp and all the color rushed to his face. “B-but Yancy...! I thought you said I was too young to be learning all that.”

“Well Jeremy sure seemed to think you were about ready,” Yancy said, somewhat bitterly. “And Kyle and I had a little chat on our way back home. He talked some sense into me, and it looks like I may have been a little wrong.”

Raleigh took an unconscious step back as his older brother took a step forward. The message in Yancy's eyes was still hard to decipher.

“I _can_ be wrong sometimes, can't I, kid?” he asked.

“Uh...I...I don't know,” Raleigh stammered. “I-I guess you can...”

“So? What do you think then?” Yancy asked with a slight shrug. “You think you might want to learn a little something?”

“I...I don't know, Yance,” Raleigh said, somewhat uncertainly. “How would you even teach me?”

Had Raleigh known better, he would have probably found a way to avoid the situation altogether or at the very least word his question differently. Unknowingly, he had pushed himself and his brother onto a path that would change the nature and course of their relationship forever.

When Yancy spoke again, his voice was lower. “We'll start slow.”

He placed his hands on Raleigh's shoulders and guided his brother slowly back to their bed; Yancy's bed. Raleigh had his own, but he hardly ever slept in it. Their parents stopped checking in on them years ago, so neither of them were aware that the two hadn't grown out of their habit. Yancy pushed his brother until he fell into a sitting position on the mattress. Yancy took his place beside his sibling.

“Now Raleigh,” said Yancy. “You remember how I told you sometimes we're going have secrets that we shouldn't tell mom or dad?”

Raleigh nodded slowly. “Yeah...?”

Yancy half-smiled. “Well, this is going to be one of those things, all right?”

“Mm...okay,” Raleigh said, frowning slightly. “What is it you're gonna tell me, Yancy?”

“Not _tell_ you,” Yancy said, shaking his head. “What I'm going to _teach_ you, Raleigh.”

“Okay...what are you going to teach me then?” Raleigh asked.

Yancy brought his face closer to his brother's. “I'm going to teach you how to kiss, Rals.”

His brother blinked confusedly at first, but then his lips curled into a small smile. “Oh. Is that all, Yance? Geez, you scared me there for a second. Come on, I already know how to do _that_ , Yance. You taught me that already.”

“Yeah, but I only showed you the kiddie version,” Yancy said, chuckling. “You're a big boy now, aren't you, Raleigh? Don't you want to know how the big kids do it?”

“There's another way to do it, Yancy?” Raleigh asked. “How?”

Yancy dared to lean in a little closer and when he responded, his voice was husky. “Mm...want me to show you, Rals?”

A light shade of pink dusted his younger brother's face. Raleigh nodded.

“Uh-huh. Sure you can, Yance! I want to know.”

Yancy closed his eyes and gently rested his forehead against Raleigh's. “Then when I kiss you this time, on the lips like I always do...I want you to do something real simple. I want you to open your mouth a little for me. Think you can do that, Rals?”

He smiled when he felt his little brother nod. “Mmhmm! I can do that, Yancy.”

“Good,” Yancy said. “Now close your eyes.”

“Mmkay!”

Yancy pressed their lips together and he inwardly smiled at his younger brother's eager compliance. He slipped in his tongue without hesitation and felt a thrill rush through him when Raleigh gasped into the kiss. The exchange was somewhat awkward at first, because Raleigh didn't know what to do at first, but he had always been a quick study. In seconds, the younger boy had managed to guess that he should swirl his tongue in the opposite direction of Yancy's. He shivered when his older brother hummed in approval. When Yancy was finally satisfied he pulled back, leaving Raleigh a little breathless. Yancy chuckled.

“Well, what do you think, Rals?” he asked softly. “You like that? Hm?”

Raleigh looked at his brother, confusion clear on his face. “I...I'm not sure, Yance. I don't know. It was...different.”

A light frown formed on Yancy's features. “You think it was good different or bad different?”

Raleigh shook his head. “Mm...I don't know...Yance?”

“Yeah, Rals?”

“Was that...” Raleigh trailed off and his eyebrows knitted together. “Was that... _sex_?”

Yancy blinked at first and then he threw back his head and laughed. “No. No, Rals. That was just me teaching you the way grown ups kiss.”

“Oh...”

Yancy misinterpreted his brother's tone for disappointment. He brought his face close to Raleigh's again and tucked a finger under his brother's chin.

“But it's that type of kissing that leads to sex, Raleigh,” said Yancy. “Don't you worry though...I'll take you there when I think you're ready.”

Raleigh frowned. “Huh? Take me where, Yancy?”

Before his brother could respond they were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening downstairs. Yancy cringed and muttered under his breath.

“Shit..." 

Raleigh tilted his head to the side. “What is it? What's wrong, Yancy?”

“Nothing, kid,” Yancy said with a smile and ruffled his brother's hair. “I thought you said mom and dad wouldn't be home until later?"

Raleigh shrugged. “I said I _thought_ they'd be home later. They didn't really tell me what time.”

Yancy let out a small sigh and smiled at his brother while tousling his hair once more for good measure. “Seriously...what am I going to do with you, kid...?”

“What?” Raleigh asked with a grin.

“ _Yancy!_ ” their mother called from the floor below. “Can you come down here and help us with the groceries?”

“Yeah, ma!” Yancy hollered back before looking back at Raleigh. “Remember kid. Don't tell mom or dad anything.”

Raleigh nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“ _Now_ , Yancy!”

“Yeah! All right! Okay! I'm coming! Geez,” Yancy shouted back.

Raleigh watched his brother's backside as he got up and left the room. A few seconds passed before Raleigh decided to sprawl out on the bed on his side. He brought a hand slowly up to his mouth, frowning a little as he tried to make sense of everything. Everything had happened so quickly that Raleigh couldn't say for sure whether he hated what his brother did, but he also couldn't say with confidence that he had liked what had happened either.

Raleigh felt his eyes flutter while listening to his brother and parents unpacking below. He drifted off to sleep wondering if his brother would have them kiss before bed using the new way he'd been taught from now on, and if he were to be completely honest, there was a part of him that wasn't too sure about how he felt about that. Something told him though that he would be figuring it out though. Eventually. 


	6. Predation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got too tired, so I wasn't able to finish this update last night, but now here it is! I'm aiming to get at least one more chapter out by the end of the day, but no promises! In the meantime, I hope those following this story enjoy this update, and I look forward to hearing what you all think. Reviews are always the greatest motivator in pushing my writing forward!

They kept it to nothing more than light make-out sessions for a year.  It took all of Yancy’s self-control not to take things any further, and not to devour his brother when Raleigh let him have his way right before bed.  He had made that mistake once, early on and not too long after Yancy had taught his brother how to kiss with tongue, and he never did it again; it hadn’t felt good.

On the night of the incident, Yancy had gotten lost in the heat of his one-sided passion.  No matter how much Raleigh gave into him, it was as if Yancy couldn’t get enough.  Finally, Raleigh had whimpered and pushed against his shoulders.  Yancy had pulled away immediately, but his expression betrayed the mixture of his lust, pain, and confusion.

“Stop it,” said Raleigh.  “I don’t want to do anymore, Yancy.  It’s tiring.”

Yancy sighed and pressed a few gentle kisses on his brother’s face down to his neck before resting his head against Raleigh’s shoulder.  He whispered his apologies.

“Sorry...I’m sorry, Raleigh...I won’t let that happen again.  I’m sorry…”

“No, I…” Raleigh trailed off and his expression was scrunched in conflict.  “I guess we can still...I don’t know...it’s just...just not so long next time, okay, Yance?  Please?”

He relaxed upon feeling Yancy do the same.  His older brother rolled over to the side and brought Raleigh closer to his chest.  Yancy ran his fingers through Raleigh’s hair and whispered atop his head.

“Yeah, kid.  I promise I won’t.”

For the remainder of that year, Yancy had kept true to his word.  Then something happened that neither boy had been expecting.

About a week had gone by since Raleigh turned fourteen.  He was getting too big to share beds with Yancy, and so now he made use of the bed on the other side of the room to sleep.  That morning, Yancy was roused by his brother early in the morning, at around five o’clock.

“Yancy…!” Raleigh hissed as he nudged his brother’s sleeping form.  “Yancy, get up!”

His older brother groaned and began to stir.  Raleigh rocked him harder.

“Yancy!  C’mon! _Please!_ ”

“Mm...a’right, a’right…” Yancy grumbled.

He rubbed at his face with his hands before stretching and rolling over.  Yancy opened his eyes and it took a few seconds for them to adjust to the dark.  He propped himself up on the side by the elbow and ran a hand over his face with his free hand.

“What is it, Rals?” Yancy asked quietly.  “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t get it to go down, Yance…”

Yancy frowned and slowly pushed himself into a sitting position.  “What?”

“My...my you know…” Raleigh mumbled.  “I tried to go to the bathroom and I can’t get it to go down and it’s a little uncomfortable.”

It took a minute for him to process what his brother was saying, but when he did, Yancy’s posture became rigid and he suddenly felt rather alert.  He gripped his hands tightly around tufts of his bedsheets.

“That’s...I guess you’re at about that age now,” Yancy said as he swallowed down the lump forming in his throat.  “Don’t worry, Rals...it’s normal.”

Raleigh looked bewildered.  “It is?”

“Yeah…” Yancy said, rubbing at the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.  “Listen, Rals...anyone teach you yet how to take care of yourself down there?”

He asked even knowing what his brother’s answer would be.  “No…”

Yancy sighed.  “All right.  Come on.  Let me show you.”

He got out from his bed and held a hand out to his brother, who took it.  Yancy then guided Raleigh to their bathroom down the hall.  Yancy locked the door behind them and turned on the lights; when he did, both boys flinched and allowed their eyes to adjust.

Yancy caught Raleigh’s gaze and spoke softly.  “Okay, now Rals...this...this is going to be another one of those things we can’t tell our parents, okay?”

Raleigh nodded quickly.  “Yeah, okay.  I don’t think I’d want them to know about this anyway...this is pretty embarrassing.”

Yancy half-smiled.  “It’ll be fine, kid.  Okay, now drop trou.”

His brother’s eyes grew round.  “Right now?  In front of you?”

“Hey, it’s not like I haven’t seen it before,” said Yancy.  “I’m the one that used to wash and change you when you were just a tyke.”

“Well, _yeah_ ,” Raleigh said, face flushing.  “But I was a little kid back then, Yancy!  I’m sure...I’m sure it looks different now.”

“Yeah.  I bet you’re bigger,” Yancy said with a grin.

Raleigh’s face turned tomato-red.  “Yancy!”

“Relax, kid,” said Yancy.  “Look...if it makes you feel better, I’ll do it with you.”

He made his brother gasp when he unceremoniously dropped his pants.  Raleigh’s eyes darted around, unsure of where to look.  After a pause, Yancy pulled off his shirt too.  Raleigh shifted the weight on his feet nervously.

“All right,” said Yancy.  “Now you.”

“I thought we were only taking off pants?” Raleigh whispered.

Yancy chuckled.  “Yeah, but I thought about it, and it’s your first time, kid.  Things might get messy.  You’ll get better at it though.”

“I don’t know…”

“Come on,” said Yancy.  “You want it to stop feeling so tight or what?”

Raleigh frowned.  “Mm...yeah, I guess…”

“Then hurry up,” Yancy said, climbing into the bathtub.  “Take everything off and get in the tub with me.”

Raleigh bit his lower lip.  “Okay…”

He reluctantly slipped out of his clothes and joined his brother.  Yancy pulled over the shower curtain after Raleigh got in.  The older boy couldn’t help raking his eyes over his brother’s lithe frame.  He wet his lips nervously upon seeing his brother’s erection.

“All right, good,” said Yancy.  “Now look down at where my hand is, and watch me.”

Raleigh nodded and slowly lowered his gaze.  Yancy could feel his own face becoming flushed as he reached down and began to stroke himself.  The corners of his lips quirked upon seeing his brother’s jaw drop slightly.  

“You can _make_ it do that?” Raleigh gasped.

“That’s right, kid,” Yancy said breathlessly.  “Pay attention.  This is something I can’t really do every minute.”

“O-okay.  Why?  Does it hurt?” Raleigh asked, mistaking his brother’s expression of pleasure for pain.

Yancy chuckled.  “Nah.  It feels...it feels real good, kid.  Real nice.  Come on, try it with me.”

Raleigh looked uncertain.  “I…”

Yancy half-smiled.  “Just wrap your hand around it, Rals.  It’s okay.”

Raleigh did as he was told, his face burning.  Yancy nodded.

“Good.  Now move your hand up and down.”

His brother complied and Raleigh flinched at the sensation.  Yancy caught him as Raleigh’s knees buckled.  Raleigh buried his face in his brother’s shoulder.

“That felt so weird, Yance!”

Yancy laughed softly.  “Yeah, I bet it did.”

“I’m not sure if I liked it,” Raleigh whispered, shaking his head.

“You didn’t even give yourself a chance,” said Yancy.  “All right.  Listen, let’s try this a little differently.  Turn around?  We’re going to try this sitting.”

Raleigh scrunched his nose.  “The tub’s going to be cold.”

“That’s okay, kid,” Yancy said, chuckling.  “Trust me, it’s not going to matter in a minute.”

“Mm...all right…”

The two boys seated themselves on the base of the bathtub.  Yancy’s breath hitched when his younger brother’s backside pressed up against him.  Raleigh was settled between Yancy’s outstretched legs.

“Your thing’s hard,” Raleigh said with a light frown.

“Yeah.  No different from yours,” said Yancy.  “All right, Rals.  Here’s what we’re going to do…”

He took hold of his brother’s hands.  “We’re going to try this again.  Wrap your hands around yourself and start sliding.  I’ll help.”

“Okay... _ah!_ ” Raleigh gasped, arching his back at the sensation.

Yancy brought one of his arms up and wrapped it around Raleigh’s waist, holding his younger brother down.  “Shh...I know it feels good, but try to hold your voice in, Rals.  We don’t want to wake up mom and dad.”

“Mm...I’m trying Yance, but it’s not easy,” Raleigh said, pressing his head against Yancy’s shoulder.  

He mewled again as Yancy helped to pump him harder.  Yancy’s hand wandered from Raleigh’s waist to his chest, and his brother moaned when Yancy trailed a finger around his nipple.  Yancy chuckled and pressed his face against his brother’s.

“You’re too loud, Rals…”

“Nn...can’t help it.  Feels good, Yancy,” said Raleigh.  “My arm’s getting tired though.  How much longer?”

Yancy half-smiled.  “You’ll get better at it.  Want me to finish it for you, Rals?”

His brother flushed.  “Mm...yeah...okay.”

“All right,” said Yancy.  “We’ve got to do something about your noises though.  I think I know just what to do.”

He brought a finger under his brother’s chin and forced Raleigh to turn his head.  “Come on, Rals.  Give me a kiss.”

Their lips pressed together and Raleigh whimpered when Yancy pulled their hands away.  He gasped when Yancy wrapped his hand around him again.  Instinctively, Raleigh’s hands flew behind him and clasped around the back of his brother’s neck.  His pleasured moans were muffled by Yancy’s mouth and he bucked his hips in time with his brother’s hand.  In a few seconds Yancy managed to push him over the brink, and Raleigh shuddered as he came all over himself and his brother’s hand.  He whimpered and his body twitched involuntarily.  His brother trailed light kisses down from his temple to his shoulder, and Yancy also ran his hands soothingly over Raleigh’s shivering frame.

A few minutes passed before Raleigh’s shaking stopped and he slowly opened his eyes.  He looked up at his brother through half-lidded eyes.  Yancy’s eyes appeared glazed and with something reflected in them that Raleigh didn’t recognize.

“Y’alright, Rals?” Yancy asked.

Raleigh nodded.  “I think so...I feel a little tired now though.”

His brother chuckled and ran a hand through Raleigh’s hair.  “Yeah...don’t worry.  That’s normal.”

“Mm…”

Raleigh adjusted himself pushed apart from his brother.  Both boys shuddered at the sudden loss of warmth.  Raleigh’s eyes flitted to his brother’s nether region.  When he looked up to meet his brother’s eyes, he bit his lip.

“What about you, Yance?” Raleigh asked.

Yancy hesitated and for the briefest of moments he thought of taking things a step further and imagined how it would feel to have his brother’s lips wrap around him, but he quickly pushed away the thoughts.  He shook his head and motioned toward the door.

“Don’t worry about me, Rals.  I’ll take care of it,” said Yancy.  “You just get dressed and head back to bed.”

“But…”

“ _No_ ,” Yancy said firmly.  “I only did this to show you, okay?  This is something you’re going to have to do by yourself from now on.  It’s not...it’s not something we’re supposed to do together, okay kid?”

Raleigh frowned.  “It’s not?”

“No, it’s not,” Yancy confirmed, shaking his head.  “Go on.  Get out of here, kid.”

Raleigh blanched and his mouth opened and shut a few times like a fish before he finally found the sense to get up and move.  Yancy watched, his heart sinking as his brother scrambled to gather his clothes and rush out of the bathroom.  After his brother had gone, Yancy sighed and slowly rose to his feet.  It was over.  Whatever hold that he had held over Raleigh had most certainly disappeared with Yancy’s confession—he knew his brother was too smart not to figure it out after that, but Yancy knew that it had to be done.  He had known it for a while, but out of his own selfish need he had kept the truth to himself, all this time.

Yancy put an arm up against tiled wall and leaned forward, pressing his eyes against his flesh.  His other hand trailed downward and he wrapped it tightly around himself as he began to pump.  He came to the memory of his brother moaning and releasing into his hand.  Afterward, slowly, Yancy dropped to his knees and assumed a prostrate position.  

His friend Kyle had been right—he loved his brother too much, and the way he was showing it was unhealthy.  Yancy didn’t want to hurt his brother, and he knew that in order to do that, he’d have to stop.  He just didn’t know how.


	7. Sickness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, SO! I know this update is getting posted later in the day than usual, but I hope the extra long length more than makes up for it! I didn't think this chapter would get this large, honestly, but it just kept on growing and growing! Enjoy, and as always, I would appreciate it if you took the time to review! (By the way, curious to hear what people think about my OCs. Are they bearable? I'm not sure what to make up the lack of feedback on them, lol. I hope readers see them as decent supporting characters in the story!)

The touching didn’t stop; not completely, but both boys were now more aware.  Raleigh was more cautious around his brother, and Yancy did his best not to force his sibling to do anything he didn’t want to.

Unfortunately, Yancy sometimes lost the struggle and his desires won out.  He’d give his brother one look and Raleigh would know what was coming.  If Raleigh had put up more of a fight, maybe Yancy would have stopped, but the younger boy could never bring himself to do it.  As much as he didn’t like what Yancy did, Raleigh didn’t harbor any hate in his heart for his brother.  He recognized that his brother needed help, but Raleigh didn’t know how to get it to him other than by doing the only thing he felt that he could do for his brother.  When Yancy wanted him, Raleigh gave in.

Granted, his brother was gentle with him, never going beyond kissing and light caresses, but in the back of his mind, Raleigh couldn’t help but to think how it would probably only be a matter of time before his brother would crave more.  Part of him wondered when that would be, with dread, and the other part of himself wondered how he’d feel or react toward the situation once it ever got to that point.

What Raleigh did hate, however, was his physical reaction to the intimacy.  Yancy had ensnared him in his tangled web without allowing Raleigh the chance to get a grasp of his own identity and sexual preferences, so he didn’t know whether the reason for his reactions to Yancy’s touch was because he also yearned for it, or if it was due to being conditioned early on by his brother.  He didn’t know whether to just enjoy the attention or to feel disgusted with himself for being unable to do anything other than respond.

Sometimes, Raleigh found himself wishing that his brother had never made him aware that what they were doing was taboo.  Since his brother’s admission, Raleigh had found himself paying closer attention to news articles and read books upon books relating to their situation.  Raleigh’s decision not to report Yancy’s actions to their parents or to the authorities was a direct result of what information Raleigh was able to glean through his own research.  Despite the assurances of the end of a nightmare and some peace of mind, Raleigh ultimately didn’t think it was worth the sacrifice.  The idea of him and his brother being separated, most likely for good, unsettled Raleigh.

Which is how he came to the stubborn conclusion that he had to figure out a way to help his brother on his own.  Baby steps, Raleigh figured, was the best way to go about it.  He knew Yancy would try his best.  After all, even Raleigh knew what the world did—that even though Yancy’s way of showing devotion was twisted, it was still love.  Raleigh needed only to ask his brother to jump and Yancy’s response would undoubtedly be to ask how high.  If Raleigh had been a less rational being himself, he probably could have thought up of more sinister things to do with his and his brother’s current arrangement.  At the very least, the objective between the brothers was the same—each wanted for the other to be happy.  It was just a matter of figuring out how to come to some sort of balance.

At present, the situation in their house was tense.  The first appearance of giant beasts from the ocean known as Kaiju occurred a few months shy of Yancy and Raleigh’s eighteenth and fifteenth birthdays, respectively.  Sometime after that, their mother was diagnosed with cancer, and her condition was deteriorating rapidly; doctors didn’t expect her to live past a year.  Despite the prognosis, their mother insisted on continuing to smoke her cigarettes, and as the weeks went by their father turned to drink for comfort.

Shortly after that, public service announcements were being made by the government, asking young men and women to come to arms.  Yancy’s friend Jeremy was on the fence, because his father expected him to join the family construction business full-time after graduating high school.   His other friend Kyle had been quick to respond to the call, probably due to the fact that he had the blood of two military soldiers running through his veins.  His other friend Jeremy was on the fence, because his father expected him to join the family construction business full-time after graduating high school.  Yancy might have enlisted with the first round of recruits too, if it hadn’t been for his brother.

Initially, Yancy had thought about joining the Pan Pacific Defense Corps to serve as a distraction away from Raleigh.  He figured that his brother could benefit from the distance, and maybe even begin to develop a sense of normality in his life.  At some point, Yancy had gone to a week-long seminar with Kyle, and afterward quickly came to the decision that he would enlist.  Then, their father’s drinking habit took a nasty turn.

Yancy knew something was wrong right away when he and Kyle rounded the corner and arrived at his house.  The shutters were closed and the house appeared dark.  Yancy’s expression became grim and Kyle looked at him questioningly.  

“What is it, Yancy?” Kyle asked.  “What’s wrong?”

“Shit…” Yancy cursed.

He surprised Kyle when he abruptly dropped the bag he was holding and broke off into a sprint.  Kyle picked it up for him and chased after his friend.

“Yancy?  Hey, man!  What’s going on?”

“We’ll talk later, Kyle!” Yancy said, shaking his head before muttering.  “ _Fuck_ …”

He got out his keys and jammed them into his front door’s lock, twisting them around before kicking the door open.  Kyle stood at the bottom of the house’s front steps, his own bag slung over his shoulder and Yancy’s at his side, looking up at his friend in concern.  He heard Yancy holler as he rushed inside.

“Raleigh…?  Da— _Raleigh!_ ”

Kyle slowly walked up the steps with both bags.  He tried to look in through the open front door, but it was hard to see due to the fact that everything was dark.

“Hey, Yancy?” he called.  “Everything all right, man?”

He jumped, slightly startled when Yancy suddenly appeared at the door with a stormy expression on his face.  “Everything’s gonna be fine.  Just go home, Kyle.  You can leave my bag at the door; I’ll get it later.”

Kyle frowned.  “You sure?”

Yancy sighed.  “Yeah, I’m sure.  Just go home, man.  I’ll call you later.”

“A-all right…” Kyle said, somewhat uncertainly.

Yancy surprised him by shutting the door in his face.  Kyle stuck around for a few minutes, straining to hear the voices inside.

“ _What the fuck happened, Raleigh?  Where is he?”_

The only thing Kyle could hear of Raleigh’s replies was the low volume of his voice.  The rest came through like incoherent mumbles.  Yancy’s voice, however, came through loud and clear.

“ _Don’t you give me that shit, Rals!”_ he heard Yancy snap.  “ _Just because mom’s not feeling great doesn’t mean he has a right to do whatever the hell he wants!  Damn it!  When I find out where the fuck in this house he’s passed out—”_

“ _Yancy, wait!”_

Kyle stood straighter when he heard Raleigh speak, but then the voices grew quieter.  A few seconds went by and just as he was about to step off the Becket’s front porch, he heard Yancy again.

“ _What...what did you say?”_

Kyle didn’t catch Raleigh’s reply.  Whatever it was though, given the context Kyle had of the conversation and judging from Yancy’s lack of immediate response, it probably wasn’t anything good.  He waited a few more minutes, but the conversation grew quiet again, and Kyle wasn’t able to pick up anything else.  After another second or two, Kyle finally decided to give up and he made his way back down to the main sidewalk.  He casted one last look at the house from over his shoulder before walking in the direction of his own.  At some point he pulled out his phone and dialed Jeremy’s number.

Meanwhile, the news that Raleigh had told him caused Yancy to stagger and lean all his weight against the nearest wall.  Raleigh drew closer to his brother’s side and looked up at him tearfully.

“Yance…”

His older brother shook his head.  “When...when did it happen, Raleigh?”

“Tuesday…”

“Tuesday?  God…” Yancy closed his eyes and turned to rest his head against his arm.  

Raleigh hesitantly placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder.  “You couldn’t have known, Yance...you were away.”

Yancy shook his head again and looked at his brother.  “Why...why didn’t you call me?”

Raleigh gave him a sad smile.  “Dad said not to…”

Yancy frowned.  “Since when did you start listening to his sorry drunk ass?”

At this, Raleigh lowered his eyes.  Realization dawned on his older brother’s face.

“No...Rals…” said Yancy.  “You...you tried to, didn’t you?”

His brother cowered when Yancy pushed off the wall.  “Yancy, I…”

“That’s why he did this to you, didn’t he?” Yancy growled.

He motioned his hand up and down Raleigh’s body.  The boy had cuts and bruises all over.  Yancy unconsciously reached out and gripped his brother’s arms.  Raleigh winced.

“What did he say was his reasoning?” Yancy asked.

Raleigh bit his lip.  “Yancy...you’re hurting me…”

His brother immediately loosed his grip.  “Shit, Raleigh...I’m sorry.”

Raleigh shook his head.  “It’s okay, Yance…”

Yancy sighed.  “Talk to me, Rals…”

“He just got mad that I tried to call you,” Raleigh said with a half-smile.  “When he said not to.”

“I’m calling bullshit if you’re telling me that’s all,” said Yancy.  “What else did he say?”

Raleigh shook his head again.  “Don’t worry about it, Yancy.  It’s not important.  What’s done is done.”

“The hell it is,” Yancy said, eyes narrowing.  

“Yancy…”

Yancy ran his fingers gingerly through his brother’s hair.  “I don’t care _how_ justified he thought he was, Rals.  He never should have laid a hand on you like this.”

A brief silence fell between them.  Yancy broke it with a sigh.

“He in the kitchen or the living room?”

Raleigh reached up and placed his hands around his brother’s, which were now cupping his face.  “Don’t do this, Yance...leave him alone.”

Yancy ignored him.  “Kitchen or living room, Rals?”

“Yance…”

“Fine.  That’s okay,” said Yancy.  “I’ll figure it out.  Wait for me upstairs, Rals.”

“C’mon, Yance…!”

“ _Now_ , Raleigh,” said Yancy.  “Don’t make me say it again.”

Raleigh’s lip quivered.  “All right...okay, Yance...I will.”

He pulled away from his brother and moved toward the stairs.  He stopped at the base and looked at Yancy.

“Just...just don’t hurt him or anything, okay?” Raleigh requested softly.

“No more than you,” said Yancy.

He sighed when Raleigh glared at him.  “I’m serious, Yance.”

“Yeah, yeah, all right,” said Yancy.  “I’ll try.  Now go on.  Up you get.  I’ll help you get cleaned up later.  Sit tight for me in the meantime, yeah?”

Raleigh nodded.  “Okay.”

Yancy watched his brother go up the stairs.  After Raleigh was out of sight, Yancy curled his fists and walked in the opposite direction.  He checked the kitchen first and then went to the living room when he didn’t find who he was looking for.  He found their father passed out on the ground next to a half-empty bottle of liquor.  Yancy stood next to him and glowered down at the man.  He recalled the bruises on his brother’s body.

Yancy narrowed his eyes and gave his father’s backside a solid kick.  “Get up, old man.”

His father grunted, but otherwise showed no other signs of movement.  This made Yancy more angry.  He kicked his father again, harder.

“ _Get up_ , you fucking son of a bitch.”

The man groaned and Yancy took a step back as he watched his father come to and try to reorient himself.  “What the…”

Yancy roughly kicked his father again.  “Wake up, you bastard.”

“Fuck!” his father cried out, scrambling to stand.  “Yancy?  What the hell are you doing, son?”

“That’s the question _I_ should be asking _you!_ ” said Yancy.  “Look at the mess you are!  Pull yourself together!”

His father staggered into a standing position.  “Don’t you fucking preach to me, boy!”

“Then act like a man instead of being the pathetic drunk you’ve allowed yourself to become,” said Yancy.

His head jerked back when his father punched him in the face.  “Watch your mouth, boy!  Remember who you’re talking to!”

Yancy laughed darkly as he rubbed at the sore spot on his face.  “Oh, that’s rich.  First you beat up on Raleigh, and now you’re trying to do the same thing to me too?  Is that what you’ve turned into?  A fucking child beater?”

“You boys have forgotten an awful lot about how to respect your elders,” his father spat.

“Well you’d have it, if you weren’t so busy drowning in your sorrows and pissing all over yourself,” Yancy snapped.  “Listen, Dad.  I’m real sorry to hear about Mom, but now’s not the time to go and lose your head.”

His father shook his head.  “Look at you, boy.  You just found out that you’ve lost your mother and you haven’t even shed a tear.”

“That’s ‘cause it hasn’t sunk in yet!” Yancy shouted.  “I’m home for less than an hour after having been away for a week and I find out my mother’s gone, my brother’s been beat, and the man responsible is not only our father, he’s fucking passed out ‘cause he’s drunk on his ass!”

“That’s your own damn fault,” said his father.  “You knew your mother was sick and yet you still decided to go on that trip with that military brat friend of yours.”

“His name is Kyle,” said Yancy.  “And you leave my friends out of this.”

“Whatever.  Kyle, then,” said his father.  “Doesn’t change the fact that you don’t have your priorities straight, son.  Your fight ain’t out there on the front lines with them damn Kaiju creatures, never was.  It was here.  At home.  Has been, all along.  You were the one who decided it was all too good for you and walked away.”

“I didn’t turn my back on anything!” Yancy shouted.  “I had my phone on!  You should have called me!”

“And what, then?  You would’ve dropped everything and come running?” his father challenged.  

“What do _you_ think?”

His father shook his head.  “That’s what your little brother said too, but I done set him straight.  You need to learn to deal with the consequences of your actions, boy.”

Yancy clenched his fists.  “You had no damn right, you old coon!”

His father silenced him with another blow to the head.  Yancy screamed through his teeth and raised a hand to nurse his injury.  

“I’ll do what I damn please, boy,” said his father.  “I put you two ungrateful little shits into this world, and I sure as hell can take you both out of it.”

Yancy surprised him by turning on his father and punching him right in the gut, with all his might.  His father doubled over and groaned.  Yancy didn’t stop there—he put everything he had into his strikes—he kneed, punched, and kicked his father in all sorts of places.

“Say and do to me what you want,” said Yancy.  “But don’t you _ever_ fucking _ever_ lay a finger on Raleigh again and think I’ll just sit back and let you get away with it.”

His last blow sent his father reeling and sprawled out on the ground on his backside.  Yancy towered over his father, and both men were breathing heavily.  Finally, his father let out a slightly deranged laugh.  Yancy frowned and kicked his father in the side.  The older man grunted, but continued in his maniacal laughter.

“The fuck are you finding so funny?” asked Yancy.

“Because I see how it is, son,” said his father.  “Hell, your mother and I have always known how much you’ve always cared for your little brother…”

Yancy shook his head.  “Get to the point, old man.”

His father stopped laughing at looked at his son somberly.  “We’ve always known that, except...I don’t think your mother ever realized how much you love little Raleigh.  Hell, I don’t think I even realized how much you loved him until just now.”

“What are you even talking about, old man?” Yancy growled.  “Of _course_ I love Raleigh.  He’s my little brother!”

“That’s right,” his father said, nodding.  “But with Raleigh is where it begins and ends for you, boy.  It’s been like that since the day that child was born.  Same with him.”

“Okay?  So what are you trying to say?” asked Yancy.

His father sighed.  “The truth is, I don’t think you boys ever needed us.  Not since you have each other.  You two are living in a world all your own.”

He picked up the bottle of liquor he had been nursing and took a swig before continuing.  “Think about it, son.  The real reason why you’re so upset.  It’s not because your mother’s gone, and it sure as hell isn’t from watching me waste my days—and believe me son, I know.  I know _exactly_ how you feel about these days I spend all my time drinking.”

Yancy frowned.  His father took a couple steps back and plopped down on one of their single-seater sofas and took another gulp from his bottle.  He tilted the bottle’s neck toward Yancy.

“ _You’re_ upset because you don’t think your brother ever has to get what he deserves,” said his father.  “But I tell you, Yancy.  That boy needs to learn the way life works sometime.”

Yancy shook his head in disgust.  “Shut up, old man.  You’re drunk.”

“That may be,” his father agreed.  “But that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“You’re wrong,” Yancy said, turning toward the doorway leading back out into the hall.  “That _absolutely_ means you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Listen, son,” his father said just before Yancy left the room.

Yancy looked behind him.  “What is it, old man?”

“You and I aren’t as different as you think, boy.”

Yancy tensed.  “The hell you talking about now?”

“I _mean_ the way you consider Raleigh as the sun to the solar system of your little corner of the universe,” his father said, tiredly.  “And it _is_ little, Yancy.  Your mother and I didn’t do right by you.”

Yancy shook his head.  “I don’t get what you’re saying.”

“Your mother and I were young when we had you too,” his father said with a sigh.  “Too young to know what in the world it was we needed to be doing.”

Yancy didn’t say anything to that.  His father continued.

“When we saw how quickly you took to taking care of Raleigh, I remember we had thought then, ‘Hallelujah!  This will sure make our lives easier,’” his father said with a half-smile.  “Of course we hadn’t thought too hard about it then, the fact that kids learn mostly from example.  By watching us.  Observing the parents and seeing how they live.”

Yancy shrugged.  “All right.  So?”

His father chuckled as he downed the last of his drink.  “So...we never taught you boys  how to live with others in mind.  You both only know how to see and work with what’s in front of you, and who the hell cares about the rest.”

The older man settled back comfortably in the sofa-chair.  “Think about it, son.  It was the same way for us—for your mother and I, and now she’s gone.  Now here I am, as you say, sitting here drunk off my rocker.”

“Dad…”

His father put up a hand.  Yancy fell silent and his lips pressed into a thin line.

“This, boy, is the result of a man who's gone all-in on one investment and never once put a thought to what he would do or how he would handle things if one day he woke up and discovered that he had gone and completely lost it,” his father said quietly.  “And when I look at you and see a reflection of my younger self staring at me as plain as day...I can’t help but to wonder how your mother and I allowed for this to happen.”

The man pushed himself up in his seat.  “Think son.  Think about how you’d be if something were to happen to your brother.”

Yancy frowned.  “Nothing’s going to, Dad.  Not if I can help it.”

His father shook his head.  “See?  Now that’s it.  That’s exactly what I’m talking about, son.  Now think about what you’d be like if something came up where you couldn’t help it.  You honestly think I’d let your mother go and die from cancer if I could help it?”

“Raleigh’s not going to get cancer, Dad,” said Yancy.  “He doesn’t smoke; he never has, and I’ll never let him.”

His father half-smiled.  “That doesn’t mean he’ll never catch the disease, son.”

“Quit talking like that, Dad.”

“Hey now, I’m just being realistic here,” said his father.  “Say Raleigh gets real sick and goes and dies on you too.  What then, son?  What will you do?”

“Well, I sure as hell won’t be you,” Yancy said with certainty.  

His father sighed.  “One can only hope that you'll do any better, boy.”

“Don’t worry, I will,” Yancy said firmly, putting his hand against part of the doorframe.  “Now are we done here?  Or is there anything else you’d still like to say?”

“Nah,  go on, boy,” his father said, waving Yancy away.  “I’m done wasting my breath.”

“Good,” said Yancy.

He had been just about to go through the door when he hesitated and looked back at his father.  “Oh, and Dad?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t you _ever_ lay a hand on Raleigh ever again,” said Yancy.  “Or I’ll have no problem kicking your ass all the way to kingdom come.”

His father shook his head.  “Listen to that mouth on you, boy.  This is how you’ve grown up and come to address your father...where in the hell did your mother and I go wrong with you?”

Yancy scoffed.  “Well, from the beginning, apparently...I mean, isn’t that what you said?”

The boy then turned and left the room.  His father leaned back further in his chair and exhaled deeply as he interlocked his fingers over his midsection, eyes dark and void of all emotion.

“Ain’t that the truth, son,” he whispered to himself.  “Ain’t that the truth…”

Raleigh jumped up from the bed he had been sitting on when Yancy swung open their bedroom door.  His eyes widened upon seeing the bruise forming on his brother’s cheek.  
  
“Yancy!”

“Hey, kiddo,” Yancy said with a small smile, pulling his brother into a warm embrace.  “How you feeling?”

“Still a little sore…” Raleigh admitted.  “But Yancy!  What happened?  Your face!”

The older boy chuckled.  “It’s nothing much.  Not like I can’t handle a hit or two.”

“Yance…”

“It’s _fine_ , kid,” Yancy said, ruffling his brother’s hair.  “As for you, though...come on now, let’s take a better look at you.”

Yancy gently pushed his younger sibling away from himself and scanned his eyes over Raleigh’s battered body.  He let out a small sigh.

“Dad really pulled a number on you, didn’t he, kid?”

“It’s all right, Yance,” Raleigh said, lifting his chin.  “It was only one time that he did it.  Nothing I can’t handle.”

Yancy shook his head and half-smiled.  “Well...don’t worry, Rals.  You won’t have to get used to it.  I talked to Dad and made sure of it.”

“What did you guys talk about, anyway?” Raleigh asked, eyes downcast.  “I heard a lot of yelling…”

“Nothing you really need to worry yourself about, squirt,” said Yancy.  “All right, now...come on.  Let’s head to the bathroom and get you cleaned up.  You go on ahead in there first, I’ll go and grab the first-aid kit.”

“Okay…”

When Yancy entered their bathroom with a little white box, he found his brother waiting for him, sitting on the toilet seat with his hands clapped over his knees.  Yancy shut the door behind him, then he set the kit down on the ground, kneeled, and looked up at Raleigh.  

“All right, kid,” he said.  “Show me everywhere that hurts.”

Raleigh paused for one moment.  Then, he took in a deep breath and lifted his shirt.  Yancy’s eyes widened slightly in surprise to see the bruises littered over his brother’s skin.

“Fucking bastard…” Yancy muttered under his breath.

Raleigh turned around slightly and bit his lip.  “He got the back a little too, I think…”

Yancy got up and frowned as he inspected his brother’s backside.  “Shit, Rals!  What’d the old man hit you with?”

“It was punches at first,” said Raleigh.  “Then at some point he used a bottle of vodka, I think...I don’t know...I can’t remember.  It all happened so fast and then I blacked out.”

“You _blacked out?_ ” Yancy growled through gritted teeth.

“Yeah…” Raleigh said, nodding slowly.  “I think he might have hit me on the back of the head when I tried to get away…”

Yancy cupped his hands around his brother’s face and pressed their foreheads gently together.  The older boy closed his eyes.

“Damn it, Rals…” Yancy whispered, voice tight.  “I’m never leaving you alone in this house with that man ever again.”

“He’s just hurting, Yancy…” Raleigh said softly.  “Mom’s gone and he misses her.”

Yancy opened his eyes and looked into his brother’s oceanic depths.  “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he has a right to lay a hand on you.”

Raleigh tilted his head.  “Well...maybe he doesn’t know what else it is that he can do.  Dad’s never been good at expressing his emotions.  You know that, don’t you, Yance?  You’re a little bit like that too.”

Those words made his brother freeze.  Raleigh’s brows furrowed together in concern as he looked up at his brother.

“Yance…?”

Yancy closed his eyes as he his father’s words from earlier echoed in his mind.  “ _You and I aren’t as different as you think, boy.”_

“Yancy.”

Raleigh’s voice shook his older brother out of his thoughts.  Yancy looked down at his brother and smiled, suddenly feeling very tired.  He ran his fingers gently through Raleigh’s blonde locks.

“Alright, kid.  Here’s what we’ll do,” said Yancy.  “I’m going to start up a nice, warm bath for you and let you get in and soak your sore spots.”

“Okay,” said Raleigh.  

Yancy got up and set the first-aid kit on top of the bathroom sink.  “Meanwhile, I’m going to be back in the room, sitting and waiting for you.  Come get me when you’re finished, okay?”

“Sure, Yancy,” said Raleigh.  “But…”

His brother raised an eyebrow.  “What?”

Raleigh opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but then shook his head.  “Nothing.  Never mind.”

Yancy nodded.  “All right…”

He moved beside Raleigh, leaned over the bathtub, and turned on the tap.  A low vibration hummed through the wall and soon water was pouring out of the faucet.  Yancy stuck his hand underneath the flow of water and waited until he was satisfied with the temperature before drawing it away.  He then got the plug for the bathtub from one of the cabinets underneath the sink, and then used it to clog the drain.  While the water filled its basin, Yancy went back to the same cabinet and pulled out a bag of bath salt that their mother used to use for long baths.  Raleigh watched quietly as his brother distributed the soluble properties with his hands.  When he was finished, Yancy dusted his hands off on his pants and stood up.  He zipped up the bag of salt, put it off to the side, and looked at his brother.

“It’s there if you want to add more of it,” he said.

Raleigh nodded.  “Thanks, Yance.”

He got up, and his brother turned to leave the room.  Raleigh stopped him.

“Hey, Yance?”

“Yeah, Rals?” Yancy said, looking at his brother in mild confusion.  “What is it?”

A light frown settled over Raleigh’s face and he shifted the weight on his feet with uncertainty.  Yancy raised an eyebrow at him.

“Come on, kid,” Yancy said.  “Spit it out.  The water’s going to get cold.”

“Ah, yeah, right, sorry…” Raleigh said before straightening his posture, as if he had just made his mind up about something.  “Think you could do me a favor, Yance?”

His brother shrugged.  “Sure, Rals.  What is it?”

Raleigh half-smiled.  “Wash my back for me?”

Yancy blinked.  “What?”

His brother suddenly shed off the rest of his clothes.  Yancy quickly averted his eyes, startled.  

“Geezus, Raleigh!”

“What?” Raleigh said, looking both confused and amused at the same time.  “It’s not like you haven’t seen this before…”

“I...I know, but... _fuck_ ,” Yancy said, closing his eyes and holding the bridge of his nose.  “Look, just hurry up, get in there, and then turn your back to me.”

“Okay, Yance.”

His older brother sighed and didn’t open his eyes until he heard Raleigh step into the bathtub.  Yancy wet his lips nervously and then knelt down behind his brother.  

“Alright, Rals,” said Yancy.  “Pass me the loofah.”

Raleigh did.  He swung the bath sponge over his shoulder.  Yancy took it and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Uh...and the soap,” he said.

Raleigh chuckled and handed Yancy the bar of soap.  His older brother gave him a sheepish smile and waved his finger in a circular motion.

“Turn back around, Rals.”

His younger brother did as he asked.  “Mmhmm…”

Yancy let out a sigh before he wet the sponge and then rubbed it against the bar of soap.  He then set the bar down on the edge of the tub before gently rubbing it against his brother’s back.  Raleigh leaned forward with his arms wrapped around his legs and his chin tucked between his knees.  

Raleigh spoke up after a few minutes of silence.  “You’re different today…”

There was a slight pause in Yancy’s motion, but his hand didn’t stop completely.  “What are you talking about, Rals?”

His brother laughed lightly and turned around.  Yancy swallowed and did his best not to let his eyes wander below his brother’s face.  Raleigh smiled at him and took hold of his brother’s hand.

“You love me today,” he said softly.

“What…?  What do you mean, Rals?” Yancy said, his brows knitting together.  “I...I love you everyday.”

Raleigh nodded.  “Yeah...yeah, well...that may be true, but never like this.”

Yancy shook his head.  “Like what, Rals?”

“You’re my brother today,” Raleigh whispered with a small smile.  “For the first time...there’s nothing you’re coming to me for.  You’re not here with me right now just so that you can get from me something that you want. I don't think you've ever done anything like this before, Yance.”

“Raleigh…”

“It’s _nice_ , Yancy,” his brother said, leaning forward and resting his forehead against one of Yancy’s shoulders.  “I _like_ this...I wish things could stay this way forever.”

Yancy ran his fingers through his brother’s hair and placed a kiss atop Raleigh’s head before letting out a sigh.  “Yeah, kid...I know.”

He gently pushed his brother back and lifted his brother’s chin with his hand.  His heart warmed at the sight of Raleigh’s smile.  Yancy pulled his hand away and smiled back.

“Finish washing up, kid,” Yancy said, placing the puffy sponge next to where he had laid the bar of soap earlier.  “Get dressed and come get me when you’re done.”

“Okay, Yance.”

Yancy ruffled his brother’s hair.  “Good kid.”

He then got up and left the bathroom.  After he had gone, Raleigh settled himself back into the bathtub and began washing over the rest of his injuries.  In a few minutes he had cleaned up, dried off, and pulled the plug so that the used water could flow down the drain.  He got dressed and walked into the bedroom while drying his hair with a towel.  Yancy was sitting on his side of the room, reading a book.  When he looked up at him, Raleigh smiled.

“All done, kid?” Yancy asked.

Raleigh nodded.  “Yep.”

Yancy got up from the bed.  “Okay.  Got any scratches aside from the ones on your face?  I didn’t see any on your back...don’t think I took a good look at your front side though.”

Raleigh shook his head.  “Nope, don’t think so.”

“Okay,” said Yancy.  “Back to the bathroom then, where I left the kit.  Let’s get you patched up.”

“Sure.”

The two boys went back into the bathroom and Raleigh sat on the toilet seat with the lid closed.  Yancy popped open the first-aid kit and took out what he needed.  The door to the bathroom was left open slightly ajar.  The pair settled into some light and comfortable conversation, neither hearing the footsteps coming from down the hall.

Their father, at some point, decided that he’d go up and check on the boys.  The fight from earlier with Yancy had left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he supposed he should at least go and apologize to his sons.  He stopped though, when he saw the light on in the bathroom and heard the laughter of his sons trickle out through the slight crack in the door.  Upon hearing the jovial sounds, a shadow cast over the older man’s face and he turned and stumbled back down the steps.  From his point of view, the boys were doing just fine without him, and neither sounded particularly shaken by the loss of their mother.

From inside the bathroom, Yancy thought that at one moment he had heard a noise outside and he frowned.  Raleigh looked up at him curiously when Yancy’s hand halted in its movement.  He tilted his head to the side.

“What is it, Yance?”

“Hold on,” Yancy said.  “I want to check something.”

Raleigh shrugged.  “Okay.”

Yancy turned around and poked his head out the door.  He looked to either side, but there was no one in sight.  Yancy shook his head as he went back to his brother’s side.

“Weird.  Never mind,” he said.

Raleigh raised an eyebrow.  “Something wrong?”

“No, not really,” Yancy said, shaking his head.  “I just thought I heard something.”

“Oh, okay.”

Yancy pressed a third bandage over a cut on Raleigh’s forehead.  “There.  That should do it, kid.”

Raleigh tapped at the dressing with his finger and smiled.  “Thanks, Yance.”

Yancy smiled back.  “You’re welcome.”

Raleigh stretched his arms and covered his mouth with a hand as he yawned.  “Well, that does it, then.  I’m beat."

Yancy chuckled.  “Me too, kid.  Come on, let’s go and get some shut eye.”

“Yeah.”

The two went back into their bedroom and Yancy put the first-aid kit away.  Having forgotten about his bruises, Raleigh thoughtlessly plopped onto his bed and instantly regretted it, and sat up immediately.

“Damn it, that was stupid,” Raleigh said, hissing from the pain.

Yancy frowned.  “Careful, Rals.”

“Gee, thanks for the advice, Captain Obvious.”

His older brother chuckled and rapped his knuckles lightly on top of his brother’s head.  “Don’t get lippy with me, kid.”

Raleigh laughed and batted his brother’s hand away.  “Hey, I do what I want.”

Yancy brought his hand down to the side of his brother’s face, ran a thumb over his cheek, and gave him a small smile.  “Yeah you do, kid.”

He then took a step back and cocked his head over to one side.  “Come on, Rals.  Lie down.  I’ll tuck you in.”

Raleigh leaned back and did as his brother asked, the corners of his lips quirking upward.  “Aren’t I getting too old for you to do this for me?”

Yancy’s eyebrows quirked in amusement.  “You?  No way.  You’ll never get too old for me, Rals.”

Raleigh scrunched his eyebrows together and laughed.  “That’s totally not what I said, Yance!”

“Whatever,” Yancy said, shaking his head.  “I’m tired now, give me a break, kid.”

He tucked his brother’s blankets around him and then leaned over his brother’s bed.  Yancy placed one hand on the space beside Raleigh’s head and he brought his face down close to his brother’s.  Yancy’s eyes were shut halfway and his lips hovered dangerously over his brother’s.   His younger brother looked up at him and laughed a little nervously, the smile on his face slightly fading away.  Raleigh’s eyebrows furrowed together and his eyes looked into Yancy’s as if he were searching for something.  

He asked his brother his question with a soft whisper.  “Yancy…?”

Confusion and uncertainty began to fill his eyes when his brother didn’t move.  Raleigh hesitated, taking in a small breath while he took a minute to decide something within himself.  It didn’t take him long to come to a decision though, and he slowly lifted his hand.

“Yancy…” he started.

This seemed to snap his brother out of his frozen state.  His brother blinked, then frowned and shook his head.  He put a thumb against his confused brother’s lips and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against his brother’s.  

“No, Raleigh,” he said quietly.

No to what, Raleigh wondered.  He thought his brother had wanted to kiss him.  Yancy had never hesitated to take what he wanted from his brother before, so Raleigh couldn’t help but to feel curious as to why his brother was being so shy about it now.  Not that Raleigh was really complaining, per se—it was admittedly nice to be having somewhat of a normal dynamic with Yancy—however, Raleigh hadn’t carried any illusions that his brother would be able to maintain the charade forever. At the same time, a small sliver of hope began to rise within him, that perhaps his brother's ways could change after all.

Yancy further surprised him by pressing a kiss to his forehead instead before walking over to his side of the room.  Raleigh turned over in his bed.

“Yance?”

His brother slipped under his own covers, turned his back to Raleigh, and let out a small sigh.  “Go to bed, Rals.”

“But Yancy—”

Yancy let out a yawn and Raleigh couldn’t tell if the noise his brother was making was real or fake.  “Come on, kid.  It’s late.  Let’s go to sleep.”

Raleigh bunched the covers around himself a little tighter and he felt his eyes begin to flutter.  “Hm...all right.  Okay, Yance.”

Soon, Raleigh gave in to his body’s demands and closed his eyes.  He didn’t need to see to hear the small smile in his older brother’s voice when he responded.  

“That’s a good kid.”

Both boys drifted off into a mostly peaceful slumber.  The next morning, it was Yancy who woke up first.  He was roused by the sound of someone walking about and some slamming from outside.  

Yancy sighed and rolled over in his bed.  He squinted his eyes to take a look at time shown on their clock.  It was seven in the morning.  It was a Saturday, so neither boy really needed to be up before nine.  Most weekends, if the boys didn’t have plans, they would typically sleep in until noon.

The older boy rubbed a hand over his face and then looked across the room where his brother was.  Raleigh was still breathing softly, fast asleep.  Yancy, for a brief second, buried his face into his pillow and let out a small breath before slowly getting up and out of bed.  He padded over quietly to the center of the room and put a finger behind the curtain, pulling it slightly toward himself so that he could take a peek outside.  He squinted his eyes as his eyes were suddenly flooded with light; Yancy blinked a few times and gave them some time to adjust.  When they did, Yancy frowned as he looked down at what was happening below.

Their father was loading some things in the back of his pickup truck.  Yancy’s jaw tensed when he realized what his father was loading into the car—it was all the little things that either belonged to him or their mother had owned.

Yancy’s attention was momentarily diverted when he heard his brother stir.  He quickly stepped away from the curtain and cursed softly when he banged his heel against the nightstand behind him.  Raleigh turned in his brother’s direction and groaned, slowly propping himself up by the elbow and rubbing at one of his eyes with his hand.

“Mm...what’s going on, Yance?” Raleigh asked hoarsely.  “What time is it?”

“Go back to bed, Rals,” Yancy whispered.  “It’s still early.”

“Nn...alright,” Raleigh said as he closed his eyes, turned over and hugged a pillow to his chest.  “Why’re you up though?”

Before Yancy could respond, their father got into the truck, slammed the car door, and started the car.  The older boy winced as Raleigh suddenly bolted upright and looked at him with a frown.  Their father's car always started up with a distinctive rumble.

“Yancy...just now, that...that was Dad’s car, wasn’t it?” Raleigh asked.

His brother’s shoulders slumped slightly.  “Raleigh…”

The younger boy jumped out of bed and rushed over to the curtains.  He threw them open and both boys flinched at the sudden overflow of light.  Raleigh squinted his eyes and looked down below at their driveway.  His eyes widened when he saw what he was looking for and he looked at his brother.

“Yancy!” he said.  “That _is_ Dad!  It looks like he’s leaving!”

Raleigh frowned when his brother didn’t respond.  “Come on, Yance!  What are we just standing here for?  We’ve got to stop him!  Come on!”

Yancy raised his hands up slightly, a slight frown forming on his features.  “Rals, I don’t think…”

Raleigh smacked his brother’s chest lightly with the back of his hand.  “Come on, Yancy!  There isn’t time!  He’s leaving!”

Yancy simply stood back and watched as his brother rushed out the door.  He closed his eyes and listened to his brother storm down the steps.  When he heard the front door creak open and slam shut, Yancy looked back out the window and down below.  He watched Raleigh chase after their father’s car and shout.

“ _Dad!  Daaaaad!  Wait!  Come back!  Where are you going?!  Dad, please!”_

Yancy forced the tears back into his eyes as he watched Raleigh fall slowly to his knees in their driveway.  Finally the older boy moved.  He quickly made his way out the door and crouched down by his brother’s side so that he could clasp a hand on Raleigh’s shoulder.  His younger brother turned to him and sobbed into Yancy’s shirt.

“He didn’t look at me once, Yancy,” said Raleigh.  “I don’t know if he even heard me!”

Yancy wrapped his arms around his brother and patted his back soothingly.  “Shh...shh...it’s okay, Raleigh...everything is going to be okay…”

“No it’s not!” Raleigh cried out, hugging his brother back tightly.  “God, Yancy...did you see the stuff that he packed in his trunk…?  I don’t think he plans on coming back... _ever_.”

Yancy rubbed his brother’s back until Raleigh’s tears subsided.  When his brother spoke again, his voice was soft, tired.

“Yancy...why would he do this?” Raleigh asked.  “Why would he want to leave us?”

There were a million things his brother could have said, but he chose not to say them.  Instead, he opted for a simple answer.

“I...I don’t know, Rals,” Yancy said with a shrug.  “But whatever his reasons were...I think he decided this by himself a long time ago.  I don’t think there was anything we could have said or did that would have changed his mind.”

Raleigh pulled back and looked at his brother, eyes red.  “You really believe that, Yance?”

Yancy half-smiled.  “Yeah, kid.  I honestly do.”

He shrugged again.  “You know Dad hasn’t been the same since mom got sick.”

Raleigh sighed and buried his face into Yancy’s chest.  “Yeah, I guess…”

Yancy pat his brother’s back again.  “You ready to go back inside, kid?”

He felt his brother nod.  “Yeah...guess so…”

“All right,” Yancy said, ruffling his brother’s hair.  “Come on then, get up.”

His brother complied and together they walked back into the house, Raleigh leaning against him and Yancy’s arm wrapped around his brother’s shoulders.  Yancy guided his brother to their living room and had him sit on the couch.

“Here you go, kid,” said Yancy.  “You sit tight there...I’ll go and whip us up some breakfast.”

“Okay,” Raleigh said, leaning back in his seat.  “Hey...Yancy?”

Yancy turned back and looked at his brother.  “Yeah, Rals?”

His little brother looked at him, his eyes still sad.  “Don’t you go and leave me too...okay?”

Yancy gave his brother a curt nod.  “Yeah.  Okay.”

“I’m not just saying that, Yancy,” Raleigh said with a sigh and then spread out on the couch longways.  “Can you promise?  ‘Cause I don’t think I’d like it so much if I were to be all by myself.”

Yancy quietly regarded his brother’s tired frame.  “Yeah, kid.  I promise.  You don’t have to worry about me doing anything like that, Rals...I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

“Good,” Raleigh said, slowly closing his eyes.  “Don’t you even dare.”

Yancy half-smiled in response and then slipped into the kitchen.  Before he started to flip through the cabinets and scour the fridge, Yancy walked over to where the cordless phone was, sitting in its charger on the far side of the room.  He picked it up and punched in a number that he had memorized by heart.  It wasn’t that Yancy had an impeccable memory, and it certainly was quite rare in this day and age, but Yancy only ever really called two people in his life regularly—Kyle and Jeremy.

The phone rang three times and when someone finally picked up, the voice was raspy on the other end.  “ _Mm...hello?”_

“Kyle,” Yancy said, in a voice loud enough for his friend to hear, but low enough that Raleigh couldn’t possibly be able to listen in.

“ _Huh?  Yancy?”_

Yancy chuckled; he could almost see his friend trying to figure out what time it was.  “Yeah, man, it’s me.”

He heard Kyle groan as the other boy stretched.  “ _Well, what’s up, dude?  Why’re you calling so early…?”_

Yancy hesitated before answering his friend’s question.  “My Pops left us this morning.”

He could almost see his friend go still in his bed, blink, and then frown.  “ _Huh?  Do what…?”_

Yancy rubbed the back of his neck.  “He left us, Kyle.  For good, I think...watched him pack all his things in the pickup and drive off.”

He heard his friend’s bed creak; Kyle was probably moving to sit up.  “ _Shit...Yancy.”_

“I know,” said Yancy.  “The worst of it is, Raleigh woke up and saw it too...he ran after him, but my old man didn’t look back at him.  Not even once…”

“ _Damn, man,”_ said Kyle.  “ _How’s the kid doing?  He okay?”_

Yancy shrugged even though he knew his friend couldn’t see.  “Honestly...I don’t know man.  I mean, I think he’ll be fine.  Eventually.  He was crying earlier though…”

“ _Mmn...anything Jeremy and I can do?”_ Kyle asked.  “ _I mean, I’m guessing that’s at least part of the reason why you’re calling me now?”_

Yancy chuckled and shook his head.  “Nah, man.  That’s not it at all.  I’ll call Jeremy later, but I’m just calling you now because we were supposed to meet up at around nine so that we could both go head to the academy together, remember?”

There was silence on the other end at first, and then Yancy laughed when Kyle started to curse from the other end.  “ _Shit man…good thing you woke me up!  I just realized I totally forgot to set my alarm.”_

“Yeah, I was wondering why you still sounded like you were in bed,” Yancy said with a smile.

Kyle laughed.  “ _Yeah...and that makes sense though.  With your dad gone, you can’t really leave Raleigh there all by himself now, can you?”_

“No, I can’t,” Yancy agreed.  “And he’s too young to take with me, too.  They won’t let anyone under eighteen enlist.”

“ _You know, I wonder if Jaeger pilots are extended amenities similar to what they give some other branches of the military.”_

“What do you mean?”

“ _You know, like on-base family housing,”_ said Kyle.  “ _The only problem is, the waiting lists for those are usually long as hell…”_

“Yeah, I bet,” said Yancy.  

“ _I could try to check for you though, when I go.”_

“I’d appreciate that, man.”

“ _Sure.  I don’t mind looking into that for you.”_

“Thanks.”

There was a brief pause, and then Kyle spoke again.  “ _So what’s going to happen to you guys then?  Like with the house and everything?  Legally speaking, that’s bound to get messy.”_

“Yeah,” Yancy said with a grimace.  “But you know...at least my dad had the sense not to high-tail it until _after_ I turned eighteen.”

“ _You seriously think he planned it that way?”_ Kyle asked incredulously.

Yancy laughed a little.  “No...no man.  I honestly don’t think that man’s ever thought that far ahead in his life.  I was only being sarcastic.”

“ _Oh.”_

“Yeah…”

“ _...so what are you going to do, then?”_

Yancy threw a hand up in the air and then brought it back down on the back of his head.  “You know what, man?  I don’t know...I’m just going to have to play it by ear.”

“ _Yeah.  Guess so,”_ said Kyle.  “ _What are you guys up to now?”_

“I think Raleigh’s just taking it easy on the couch,” said Yancy.  “And I’m about to make us some breakfast.”

“ _Cool.  Can I come over?”_

Yancy laughed.  “Yeah, of course you can, you asshole.  What are you coming for?  To say goodbye or for the free food?”

“ _...to spend time with you and your brother?”_

Yancy snorted.  “Good answer.”

“ _Thought so myself!”_ Kyle said, chuckling.  “ _You gon’ call Jeremy?”_

“No, I fucking hate that prick!” Yancy said, jokingly.

“ _Yancy!”_ Kyle scolded in mock-horror.

Yancy shook his head and laughed.  “Don’t worry, man.  When we get off the phone, the next person I’m going to call is going to be that dumbass.”

“ _Heh.  He’s going to be fucking pissed off that you’re calling him this early in the morning.”_

Yancy half-smiled.  “Hey, when I remind him it’s your last day and give him the offer of free food, he’ll shut up real quick.”

His friend laughed.  “ _Yeah, true.  All right then.  I’ll see you in a few.”_

“Yeah, see you soon.”

Both boys hung up and Yancy dialed Jeremy’s number next.  He was surprised when his friend answered after the first ring.

“ _Yancy?”_

“Yeah.”

“ _What’s up, man?”_

“I could ask you the same thing,” Yancy said, shaking his head in amusement.  “How come you’re up so early?”

His friend’s laughter crackled through from the other end.  “ _I work full-time with my dad’s construction company now, remember?  Our days start early.”_

“Shit man,” said Yancy.  “That’s right.  So how early is early?”

“ _Mad early, dude.  Like five-thirty.  Sometimes four.”_

“Damn...I don’t know how you manage to sound so chipper in the morning,” said Yancy.  “I sure as hell couldn’t do it.  Hell, I’m surprised you’re even doing it now!  When I dialed your number, I thought you were going to be pissed!”

“ _You’re right, but that was the old me,”_ said Jeremy.  “ _New me knows better, or I get an ass-whoopin’ for complaining.”_

Yancy chuckled.  “Ah, that’s right...keep forgetting your dad’s such a hardass.”

“ _Hm...yeah,”_ said Jeremy.  “ _Listen, Yancy…”_

“Yeah?”

“ _My dad and I...we’re working on this house across the street from this one gas station, right?”_

“Uh-huh…” Yancy’s lips twitched at the corners.  “You trying to tell me a joke or something, Jerry?  What are you trying to get at?”

“ _No, no, man, nothing like that,”_ Jeremy said with a small laugh.  “ _Nah...it’s just...my dad and I saw your dad’s pickup.  You know, Cherry Red?”_

Yancy’s smile faded upon hearing his friend’s nickname for his father’s truck.  “Ah...mm...mmhmm?”

“ _I don’t know...my dad tried to wave him down and talk to him, but he looked distracted...didn’t pay any attention at all to us.  It was real unusual.”_

“Mm…”

“ _Listen, so...I just wanted to ask…”_

“Uh-huh...yeah?” said Yancy.

“ _...everything alright with you guys over there, Yancy?”_

Yancy sighed.  “You know...if I’m going to be honest, that’s sort of the reason why I’m calling you right now, Jerry.”

“ _Damn...yeah, I thought so,”_ said Jeremy.  “ _What’s going on then?”_

“Long story short…” said Yancy.  “Dad’s packed up and left...I’m pretty sure for good.  Raleigh’s not doing so hot...and Kyle’s coming over to hang out for a bit.  It’s his last day, you know?”

“ _Last day?  What are you talking abou—ohhhh...shiiiit,”_ said Jeremy.  “ _You guys were both supposed to head off to the Jaeger school today, right?  Damn, man!  I totally forgot.”_

Yancy laughed.  “Yeah, well...given the circumstances, it looks like Kyle’s going to be taking off on his own after breakfast…he said he’ll get back to me after he looks into some things though.  On-base military housing for families or something like that.”

“ _So you can take Raleigh,”_ Jeremy said, and Yancy could almost see his friend nod.

“Yeah.”

“ _Well, I hope it works out…”_ said Jeremy.  “ _You all meeting for breakfast now?”_

“Yeah,” said Yancy.  “You’re welcome to come…!  Well, I mean, if your old man’ll let you off work and all.”

“ _Ah, yeah, that’d be great,”_ said Jeremy.  “ _Hang on, lemme check.”_

Yancy half-smiled listening to his friend holler.  “ _Heeey!  Daaad!  Can you c’mere a sec?  I’ve gotta ask you somethin’.”_

The voices on the other end were slightly muffled while the two Daniels men had their conversation; Yancy figured his friend either had the phone down at his side or had his hand placed over the receiver.  After a few seconds he heard sounds of shuffling from the other side and of Jeremy clearing his throat before talking to Yancy again.

“ _Hey, you still there?”_

“Yeah, still here."

“ _Cool.  Yeah.  My pops said it’s okay for me to clock out a little early and head over there,”_ said Jeremy.  “ _I told him I could come back later, but he said nah, I could hang around over there the whole day today.  That is, if it’s okay with y’all.”_

“Sure, that’d be fine,” said Yancy.  “Raleigh could probably use the company, I think.”

“ _Yeah, that’s what my dad was thinking too,”_ said Jeremy.

“Your dad’s a good man,” said Yancy.  “You tell him I said so.”

“ _I will, thanks,”_ said Jeremy.  “ _Listen, so I’ve just gotta wrap up a few quick things here…”_

Yancy shrugged a little.  “Take your time.”

“ _Won’t take too long,”_ said Jeremy.  “ _Then I’ll be right over.”_

“We’ll be here,” said Yancy.

“ _Cool,”_ said Jeremy.  “ _Be there in a jiffy.”_

“Sounds like a plan,” Yancy said before ending the call.

Yancy then let out a sigh and placed the phone back in its charging station.  Then he started poking his head around the kitchen to see what he could find.


	8. Violation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another later-than-intended update! Trudging away at this! We're nearing the end. Hopefully the next few chapters won't take as long. I've collected roughly thirty fills and thought up of three original ideas that I've got to get to, and I'm sure the number will just keep going up! Hopefully I'll be able to get to them all!

During the year that followed their father’s abandonment, Yancy seemed more in control of himself than ever, and Raleigh let his guard down.  Yancy did too, and when one day Jeremy called him after a long day of work asking him if he’d like to grab a drink, Yancy decided that he would.  Both were mistakes.

Raleigh was in his room when he heard Yancy stagger inside the house, later than usual that evening.  He could hear his brother talking to himself loudly and Raleigh felt his stomach flip as he got the sense that something was about to go very wrong.  His hair stood on end when his brother flung open their door and stormed into the room.

The first thing Raleigh noted was the smell—his brother reeked of alcohol and Raleigh shivered, suddenly reminded of their father.  He shrank as far back to the wall as he could in his bed, even though he knew it’s wasn’t going to be any use.  He concentrated on keeping his face neutral and breathing even; he gently bit down on his tongue to keep from whimpering when he felt part of his bed dip down where Yancy added his weight.  He tried not to gag when his brother leaned in close, bringing with him the overwhelming scent of liquor on his breath.  Raleigh’s breath softly hitched when his brother placed his cold lips against Raleigh’s neck; the younger boy felt goosebumps rise on his skin from the sensation.

Yancy ran his fingers through his brother’s blonde hair,  hovered his lips over the younger boy’s ear, and whispered.  “You asleep, kid?”

“ _Very much asleep,”_ Raleigh wanted to say to his brother.  “ _Yancy, please don’t do this.  Please don’t do what I think you’re about to.”_

His silent wishes went unheard.  Yancy’s hand snaked under his shirt and involuntarily shook when his brother’s hands raked across his chest.  Raleigh could hear the smirk in his brother’s voice when he heard him speak, and it made Raleigh feel sick.

“I know you felt that,” said Yancy.  “Come on.  Wake up, Raleigh...”

When Yancy’s hand snaked down under the waistband of his pajama pants, Raleigh knew that he couldn’t pretend to be asleep any longer.  His brother’s fingers were talented, and despite what Raleigh wanted, Yancy always knew just how to make the younger boy’s body react.  He arched his back and let out a moan when Yancy stroked him in just the right place, and he could feel himself growing hard.  He gasped when Yancy gently nipped at his lower lip, and reluctantly, Raleigh opened his eyes.  

“There he is…” Yancy rasped huskily.

Raleigh shuddered.  Even in the dark he could sense his older brother’s need radiating off of him.  Raleigh reached up his hands and pushed against his brother’s shoulders.

“Yancy, please…” he whispered.  “Please...don’t do this.”

His brother ignored him and proceeded to yank off his pants.  Raleigh struggled, but his brother was bigger and stronger.  

“No, Yancy!  Please!” Raleigh begged.  “Stop!  You’re drunk!”

He winced when Yancy pulled roughly at his hair.  “That hurts, Yancy!”

His brother growled into his ear.  “You calling me a drunk, kid?”

“No, no,” Raleigh said quickly.  “I’m just saying I think you’ve had too much to drink, Yancy?”

“How is that any different?”

“You’re just not thinking straight!” said Raleigh.  “Come on, Yancy!  You know this isn’t you!  You would never want to do something like this!”

At that moment, a sliver of moonlight highlighted the upper half of his brother’s face, and Raleigh could see the mixture of pain, sorrow, and deep desire reflected in his brother’s eyes.  Yancy shook his head.  When he spoke, his voice was sad.

“Ah, but Rals...you don’t understand,” Yancy said as he slid his hands under Raleigh’s shirt.  “This...I’ve always wanted this…”

Before Raleigh could protest any further, Yancy pinned his hands over his head and kissed him roughly.  Raleigh tried to fight back, but it was a losing battle because Yancy didn’t just have advantage in power, he also knew the key to turning his brother on.  Raleigh’s heart began to fill with the familiar feelings of disgust and self-hatred as his brother’s hands explored and caressed his body, which was starting to radiate with the heat of his own building lust.  In times like this, Raleigh felt himself go on autopilot, mentally tucking himself away while his brother did as he pleased.  It was a defense mechanism that Raleigh had developed for himself at some point in his life, and probably the main reason why he had not yet lost his mind.  

He flinched when Yancy trailed hot, wet kissing up the side of his neck before nipping gently at his earlobe.  “Fuck, Raleigh...do you have any idea how difficult it’s been for me to hold in how much I’ve wanted this?”

Yancy let go so that he could strip himself of his own clothing, and Raleigh sank further in his own self-loathing.  He knew his brother only released him because he sensed that it was safe; that Raleigh wasn’t planning on throwing any punches or make any attempts at escape.  The thought made him sick.  At the last moment, Raleigh tried to crawl out of bed, but Yancy rounded on him immediately, slamming him angrily back down onto the mattress.  

He flinched when his brother rasped into his ear.  “You move when I say you can move.”

Raleigh shut his eyes tightly, only one thought racing through his mind.  “ _If it has to happen, Yancy...then make it quick.”_

His hands flew to his face and he moaned when Yancy went down on him—his brother had never done that before—and Raleigh didn’t allow himself to think too hard about what was happening to him one way or the other.  His body writhed against his will when his brother’s tongue sent him over the edge.  He attempted again to turn and run, but his brother grabbed him roughly by waist and forced him to stay.  Raleigh’s mind was filled with so much panic and rushing with so many thoughts, he barely heard the words his brother was saying.  

“Keep still,” said Yancy.  “Stop moving, Rals, or this is going to hurt.”

“ _What?  What’s going to hurt?”_ Raleigh wanted to ask aloud, but he had seemed to have lost the ability to speak.

He yelped when he felt his brother probe him _there_ , and he helplessly clawed at his sheets and tried to get out of his brother’s iron grip because he wasn’t a naïve little boy anymore and he had a pretty good idea of what was coming.  He buried his face into his pillow and screamed into it his frustration.  Raleigh had held no illusions—he had known that it would only be a matter of time before things would get to where they were now, but he hadn’t been expecting it to happen the way that it was.  Yancy wasn’t himself right now.  If he were, then he would be gentler, of this Raleigh was sure.  After all, his brother had promised him that he would take things slow, and up until that point, he had kept true to his word.  Right now his brother was victim to his demons, and was in an irrational state of mind.  Yancy shouldn’t have been hurting him like he was at that moment.  Yancy should have been sober.  

“Come _on_ , Rals!” his brother said harshly as he continued to stretch Raleigh’s insides.  “You _need_ to _relax_.”

Tears streamed down Raleigh’s face and his body tensed as his brother slipped out his fingers one-by-one.  There was only the briefest pause of false security, and for a split second Raleigh wondered if perhaps his brother would have mercy.  Then, his brother plunged into him and Raleigh screamed because it felt like his insides were being torn apart.

He screamed until his voice went hoarse, and then his body went slack.  Raleigh stopped resisting and stared blankly at the wall ahead while listening to his brother lose himself in his blissful state of unreciprocated ecstasy.  When his brother finally released inside of him, Raleigh couldn’t tell if the heat he was feeling was his brother’s seed or his own blood.  He felt his brother slowly pull out and collapse at his side, and Raleigh didn’t protest when his brother drew him closer, wrapping the covers tightly around them and mumbling a bunch of incoherent things into his ear.  Raleigh would have moved had he had the strength; he really would have liked to clean himself, but he was too fatigued.  

After a few minutes, the room quieted and the only thing that could be heard was the mismatched sounds of the the two brothers breathing.  A short while after nodding off, Yancy’s tight grip around Raleigh’s frame loosened.  Raleigh laid there, still for several moments before finally dropping his gaze to Yancy’s arm, which the older boy had crossed over him.  He stared at his brother’s hand for a while, and then slowly brought up one of his own and cupped it around his brother’s.  He ran one of his thumbs up and down the backside of his brother’s hand.  He continued that motion for a little while, his eyes moist.  

When he whispered into the dark, his voice was shaky.  “Hey...Yancy…?”

His brother didn’t stir, nor did he respond.  Raleigh shut his eyes, flushing out a steady flow of tears.

“Yancy…?  Are you awake?”

Yancy’s even breathing was his answer.  Raleigh opened his eyes and once again stared at his brother’s hand.

“I just want you to know...that I know you didn’t mean it,” Raleigh whispered softly.  “I know you just...you just probably couldn’t help yourself anymore.”

Raleigh sighed and slowly pulled his brother’s hand closer to his lips.  “And I just want to say that it’s okay, Yance...I understand…”

He closed his eyes and gently pressed a kiss to his brother’s knuckles.  “I still love you…”

Then Raleigh slipped his hand underneath his brother’s.  His brother shook lightly with his sobs when he felt Yancy reposition himself, drawing Raleigh closer to him and interlocking their fingers.  

Raleigh drifted off into uneasy sleep.  In the morning, he was the first to get up, and slowly extricated himself from his brother’s grasp.  There was nothing he could do about the bedsheets without waking his brother, and besides, at that moment he hadn’t had the strength.  Instead, he did what he could and took with him the covers.  Before he left the room, he took Yancy’s blanket from his bed and tossed it over his brother’s still-sleeping form.  Raleigh then took the dirtied blanket out of the bedroom and threw it in the washing machine before staggering to the bathroom to clean himself up.  When Raleigh stepped into the shower, he turned on the water and then squatted down, curling himself into a ball.  His body racked with his sobs and he sat like that for a few moments before reaching for the bar of soap, trying to focus on the beat of the warm water coursing all around his body and down his back.

Yancy woke about three hours later and groaned as he turned over in the bed.  His head was pounding, and the events from the night before were hazy.  He slowly sat up in his bed and rubbed his hands over his face.  He stopped in mid-motion when his body shivered from the cold.  Yancy lowered his hands and then looked down at himself.  He was naked.  Yancy frowned.  He always wore a shirt and pants to bed; he never slept in the nude.  That was when he noticed that although he was wrapped in his own blanket, the bed he was on was not his.  His first thought was maybe he and his brother had switched beds.  He looked up across the room, but there was no one on his mattress, and Raleigh’s blanket was nowhere in sight.  Yancy felt his throat suddenly go dry.  When he peeled his blanket away from his body, that’s when he noticed the dry semen and blood all over Raleigh’s sheets, and Yancy’s blood ran cold.  

“ _Oh no.  No, no, no,”_ Yancy thought frantically as he ran a hand through his hair and jumped out of bed.  “ _What the fuck happened last night?”_

He went to their drawers and rummaged through the topmost ones, looking for some clothes to wear as he retraced his steps from the night before in a matter of seconds.  He remembered spending the day watching the news, keeping himself updated on the Kaiju attacks while his brother was at school.  Then Raleigh came home and Yancy had prepared them dinner, over which they discussed various aspects of each other’s day.  Jeremy’s call to him had come shortly after that, while Yancy had been washing the dishes, and he had left telling his brother not to wait up for him.  He and Jeremy had gone to a bar and gotten totally wasted.  Yancy couldn’t remember if he had taken a taxi home, or if Jeremy had somehow managed to drop him off.  

What he did remember, was _stumbling to his house_ and _climbing up the stairs_.  He hadn’t meant to _look for Raleigh_ at first, he had initially intended to just go to bed, but then he had _seen his brother lying there, so peacefully_ that Yancy had suddenly become filled with _want_ and _desire_ and _so much need_.  

Yancy shook his head.  It wasn’t possible.  He had thought that last night had just been another one of his twisted fantasies.

“ _But did you really?”_ a small voice inside of himself accused.  “ _Were you absolutely, positively, one-hundred percent sure that last night, you thought all of it was completely nothing more than a dream?”_

 _Yes_ , Yancy thought.   _He had been sure._

“ _Or maybe that’s just what you’d like to believe,”_ the voice inside of him mocked.  “ _Because it really did feel more real than usual, didn’t it?”_

Yancy cursed under his breath.  The voice in his mind laughed.

“ _That’s because it_ _ **was**_ _real, you dipshit.”_

And then Yancy remembered.   _His brother begging for him to stop.  His brother’s screams when Yancy penetrated him against his will.  His brother’s tear-streaked face._  Yancy smacked his hands down hard on the top of the chest of drawers.

“God damn it!” Yancy berated himself before rushing out of the room and calling out for his brother.  “Raleigh?  Raleigh?!   _Rals!_ ”

He thundered down the steps, his heart pounding.  Raleigh hadn’t been in the bathroom or their parents old room upstairs.  He had checked the living room, but there had been no sign of his brother.  Finally, Yancy threw open the door to their kitchen and let out a huge breath of relief upon seeing his brother’s backside.  His brother was wearing a navy blue bathrobe.

Raleigh’s posture stiffened slightly, but he didn’t hesitate in his movements—he was cutting up some vegetables on a chopping board.  Yancy approached his brother cautiously.

“Raleigh…?”

His brother’s voice was strained when he responded.  “Finally up, huh, Yance?  I was wondering when you would…”  

Yancy’s shoulders sagged helplessly.  “Listen, Raleigh, I—”

“Why don’t you have a seat, Yance?” Raleigh said, cutting his brother off.  “I’m just about finished chopping up some things for a salad...I made us some lunch.”

He almost jumped sky high when his brother unexpectedly placed a hand on his shoulder.  Without thinking he whipped around with the knife still in his hand.  Yancy’s eyes widened and he took a step back quickly with his hands raised defensively.

“Oh…!  Whoa... _Rals!_ ”

Raleigh gasped and he quickly dropped the knife, letting it clatter into the sink.  He raised his own arms, mirroring his brother’s movement.

“ _Fuck_ , Yancy!” Raleigh hissed through clenched teeth.  “Don’t...don’t touch me!”

He tensed upon seeing the look of hurt flash in his brother’s eyes and shut his eyes tightly.  He curled his fists at his side and shook his head quickly.  

“No... _shit!_ I mean...I meant don’t _scare_ me like that, Yance.”

His brother sighed.  “No...no, you’re _right_ , Rals…I shouldn’t be touching you.  Not right now. _Especially_ not after last night...”

Raleigh bit his lip.  “ _Yancy_ …”

Yancy slowly walked over to their dining room table, pulled out a chair, and took a seat.  He then leaned forward and buried his head in his hands.

“God, this is so fucked up…” Yancy whispered.  

Raleigh sighed.  “Yance…”

“Let’s be honest, Rals,” Yancy said, his head still held in his hands.  “I’m no better than Dad, am I?”

Raleigh shook his head and took a step toward his brother.  “No, Yancy…!  You’re not…!”

Yancy nodded.  “No, you’re right...I’m not.  I’m _worse_.”

“Yancy!   _Stop!_ ” Raleigh snapped. “You're not him. You'll never be like he was.”

His brother’s head snapped up then, and Raleigh’s heart felt as if it were shattering into a million pieces upon seeing how lost his brother looked in that moment.  Yancy’s brows furrowed together and formed a slight frown.

“Raleigh...I _raped_ you last night,” Yancy whispered shakily.  

“No,” Raleigh said, shaking his head furiously.  “ _No._ Last night was just…”

“Damn it!  Don’t try to rationalize it, Raleigh!” Yancy said, smacking his hand down hard on the table, causing his brother to jump.  “I don’t deserve your excuses…”

“Yancy, _please!_ ”

The older boy quieted at Raleigh’s sudden outburst; Raleigh’s eyes were once again filled with tears.  The younger boy wiped at them angrily with the back of his sleeve.

“ _Please_ , Yancy…” said Raleigh.  “Let’s not talk about this now, okay?  I’m just...just way too tired to talk about this now.”

Yancy sighed and slumped back in his chair.  “A...all right, Rals…fine.  We’ll discuss this later.”

“ _Later_ ,” his brother agreed.  “But right now?  Right now...let’s just pretend that last night didn’t happen and just eat some lunch, okay?”

Yancy gave his brother a half-hearted shrug.  “Yeah, Rals...all right.”

“Good,” said Raleigh.  

He turned to the stove and brought over to the table a small pot of stew.  Yancy moved one of the doilies already on the table toward the center so that Raleigh could place the pot on top.  Raleigh then took a couple minutes to get them bowls and silverware.  Yancy thanked him quietly, and Raleigh brought over what he had prepared of the salad before sitting down across from his brother.

Yancy asked his question without meeting his brother’s eyes.  “So...what’s for lunch?”

“Chicken broth and some tossed salad,” Raleigh said with a half-smile.  “Your favorite hangover food…”

Yancy chuckled a little, despite himself.  “Thanks, Rals…”

Raleigh nodded.  “Yeah...anytime, Yance.”

An uneasy silence fell between them.  The only sounds they made were the clinking ones where their utensils scraped against their bowls.  Finally, Yancy broke the silence.

“Hey, Rals?”

“Yeah.”

Yancy sighed.  “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Raleigh shrugged a little.  “Okay.”

Yancy sipped a bit of his soup before continuing.  “Before Dad left…”

“Uh-huh.”

“I was going to go with Kyle to join the Jaeger Academy.”

“...yeah, I know.  Dad told me after you'd gone,” said Raleigh.

Yancy nodded.  “Yeah, and after he bailed on us...I...I decided to stay.  For you.”

Raleigh looked at his brother somewhat quizzically.  “I knew that already, Yance.”

Yancy met his brother’s eyes and smiled at him sheepishly.  “Initially...I planned to leave for you too.”

He gave his brother a second to allow for his words to sink in.  When they did, his brother looked up at him, eyes wide.

“Yancy…”

The older boy downed the rest of his bowl, then got up and walked it to the sink.  “You’ll be eighteen in two years, Raleigh.”

Raleigh’s voice shook.  “Yancy, what…?”

“I’ll leave the house to you,” said Yancy.  “The paperwork’s already been taken care of—all I’ll need to do is set up a transfer…”

“Shut up, Yancy,” said Raleigh.  “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m trying to do what I should be, as an older brother,” said Yancy.  “What I should have been doing all along.”

“It’s...it’s fine, Yancy,” said Raleigh.  “You’ve been doing just fine.  Last night...things just got out of hand, that’s all.”

Yancy shut off the sink water and turned to look at Raleigh with tired eyes.  “See?  That right there, Rals...that’s the problem with us.  This arrangement we’ve got going...somewhere along the line we’ve convinced ourselves it’s normal.  It’s not, Raleigh.  What we’ve got going here isn't healthy at all.  It needs to stop.”

Raleigh shrugged slightly.  “Perfect families don’t really exist.”

“No, they don’t,” Yancy agreed.  “But _good_ ones do.”

“What we have is plenty good,” Raleigh said stubbornly.

Yancy sighed.  Raleigh pushed back his chair so that he could get up.  He walked towards his brother and reached for the older boy’s hand.  Their fingers interlaced automatically out of habit.  Raleigh looked up at his brother.

“We’ll make it work, Yance…” Raleigh said softly.  “We always have.  Between the two of us, we’ll figure something out.”

Yancy shook his head.  “I don’t understand.  I’m giving you a way out.”

Raleigh raised and lowered a shoulder.  “You’re all I want.”

“You’re too young to know what you want,” said Yancy.  “And I’m sure as hell not what you _need_ , kid.”

Raleigh frowned.  “Well, regardless, you’re all I’ve got.”

“But I don’t have to be,” Yancy said, his smile bittersweet.  “Don’t you get it, kid?  The world’s a whole lot bigger than this box we’ve blocked ourselves in.”

“Tell me, Yance,” said Raleigh.  “What good would come from us separating?”

“Well we won’t know until we try now, will we?”

Raleigh shook his head and frowned.  “That’s stupid.”

Yancy scoffed.  “Like what we’re doing right now isn’t crazy.”

“When has love ever been associated with rationality?”

“Touché.”  

“We’re in this together, Yance,” said Raleigh.  “For better or for worse.”

Yancy sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  “Two years to change your mind kid.”

The look in Raleigh’s eyes reflected determination.  “I won’t.”

Yancy squeezed his brother’s hand gently once before letting go.  He said his next words quietly.

“You might.”


	9. Shame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the huge delay in update, everyone! This chapter really ran away with me...hopefully the length more than makes up for the wait! I think this might actually be the longest chapter to date. 
> 
> Some very minor comic relief and mini-subplots going on in this chapter. Also I've done some research and fabricated stuff about the Jaeger Academy curriculum and so on. Please enjoy! Feedback, as always, is greatly appreciated!

Yancy was twenty-one and Raleigh was eighteen when they decided to put their house up for rent and enroll into the Jaeger Academy on Kodiak Island.  There, they were reunited with an old, familiar face.

“ _Well, I’ll be damned!  Yancy and Raleigh Becket!”_

Both young men addressed turned in the direction of the male voice they had heard.  They simultaneously broke into huge grins upon seeing that it was Yancy’s childhood friend, Kyle Hunter.  Raleigh hung back and smiled as he watched the two men exchange a bro handshake.  Yancy clapped his hands on Kyle’s shoulders when they were done.

“Good to see you, Kyle.”

“Right back at you, man!” Kyle said, smiling.  “Man, when they told me y’all had made it here, I just had to come down from the main base and see for myself.  How’s Jack?”

Yancy shrugged.  “Same old.  He’s still working construction and is as cranky as ever.”

“Shame he doesn’t seem interested in joining us,” Kyle said.

Yancy shrugged.  “To be honest, I think deep down he wants to, but he just doesn’t have it in him to let his dad down.  He knows he’ll break his father’s heart if he decides to forsake construction.”

Kyle laughed.  “Hell yeah, man.  You don’t have to remind me.”

“If you ask me,” said Yancy.  “I think the real reason though is that his father just can’t let his son go.

“Well Jeremy _is_ his only one, so I guess that makes sense,” Kyle said with a small smile.  “Still, it’s a shame though, and a bit of a waste.  I know he’d make one hell of a Ranger.  Hell of a partner too.”

Yancy snorted.  “For you, perhaps.  You two always got along better than he and I ever could.”

“You’re both too damn alike, that’s why,” Kyle said, smirking and shaking his head.  “Fucking hot tamales.”

“What, you complaining?”

“Nah, not really,” Kyle chuckled.  “You two kept my life interesting while we were in school, that’s for sure.”

Yancy laughed.  “We sure did.”

Kyle shook his head.  “Any white hairs I have on my head, I have y’all to thank for.”

“You two keep in touch still?”

“Nah,” said Kyle.  “That man’s always been difficult to get a hold of...and I don’t think he’s the snail mail type.  I haven’t talked to him in a long time.”

“I don’t think he considers himself below writing a handwritten letter or two,” Yancy said with a shrug.  “You should try to reach out.  I’m sure he’d be glad to hear from you.”

Kyle laughed softly.  “Yeah.  Maybe.  I’ll think about it.”

The brunette then turned his attention to Raleigh.  “Now what do we have here?  No way, Yance!  This your baby bro?”

Yancy nodded proudly.  “Yep.  Sure is.”

“Well look at you!” Kyle said, punching Raleigh playfully in the shoulder.  “Little man, all grown up!  Why, I remember when you were just knee-high!”

“Six-foot-one now,” Yancy said with a laugh.  “An inch taller than me, and the kid never lets me forget it.”

“Hey, you’re always playing the age card,” Raleigh said.  “I’ve gotta have some kind of leverage to fight back with.”

Yancy grinned.  “Too bad that’s all you’ve got.”

“Hey!”

Kyle laughed at the exchange and shook his head at the two brothers.  After a minute, his expression slowly became a little more serious.

“Man, it’s really good to see you two though,” said Kyle.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love serving our country—the world, really, against these Kaiju...and really, we do get to work with and see a lot of neat things here.  I’ve got to say though...there are days where I really miss home.”

Yancy nodded.  “Your grandparents were still doing fine when we last saw them.  You still communicate with them?”

Kyle nodded.  “Absolutely.  I still send them letters.  Gramps keeps trying to smuggle me booze.”

The brunette laughed and shook his head.  “I keep telling him that it’s not allowed and not to worry, ‘cause we definitely have plenty of it here on base, but still...he insists on sending it.  I’ve become a running joke in the mailroom.”

Yancy chuckled.  “Crazy old coot.  Loves you to death, though.”

“Don’t I know it,” Kyle said with a small smile.  “I miss him and Grams too.”

Yancy tilted his head slightly upward.  “You meet up with your folks?”

“Yeah,” said Kyle.  “It’s funny...they were always on tour when I was growing up, I hardly ever saw ‘em.”

“Yeah, I remember,” said Yancy.  “They only really came around during the holidays or whenever they could snag leave.”

“Mmhmm.  I can’t say they didn’t try their best, but I honestly didn’t realize how distant I felt from them until after graduating from the academy,” Kyle said with a one-shoulder shrug.  “Not saying I resent them or anything, but I think that was when I understood what my grandma meant about how they must not have thought things through when they decided to have me.  Hell...I was more excited to see my grandparents that day than I was them.  Sounds real shitty of me, doesn’t it?”

“Nah,” Yancy said with a half-smile.  “Given the circumstances, I think that sounds pretty normal to me.”

“Heh, maybe,” said Kyle.  “I guess they have been trying their best to make up for it now.”

“Oh?  You see ‘em more often now, I take it?” Yancy asked.

“Yeah,” said Kyle.  “Pretty much two-to-three times a week, depending on how our schedules are.”

Yancy’s eyes widened a little.  “Wow.”

“Mealtimes are pretty much the same for everyone,” said Kyle.  “Just sometimes the traditional soldiers are called to do some things during those hours.”

“Huh?  Your parents aren’t Jaeger pilots?” Yancy asked.

Kyle shook his head.  “Nope.  They weren’t interested in that kind of promotion.”

“Really.”

“I know, a little hard to believe,” Kyle said with a nod.  “But you have to remember where they’re coming from.  It’s kind of an old generation that’s set in their ways kind of thing.  Their battle has always been on ground as foot-soldiers or in the ocean on board ships and in submarines, so that’s where they’re staying.”

“Interesting,” said Yancy.

“They’re not all like that though,” said Kyle.  “A few decided to make the transfer.  Honestly though, the majority of older people in the ranks right now as Jaeger pilots are civilians who had never fought a day in their life before now.”

“Still, you’d think more people would want to jump on the opportunity,” said Yancy.  “Especially if they already have the military discipline.”

“I thought the same exact thing,” said Kyle.  “But after I learned more about the process on how Jaegers are actually operated, I think I can understand why some of them decided not to—especially those that have seen actual combat already.”

“Really?  How come?” asked Yancy.

“You and your bro will be learning about it in a couple days,” said Kyle.  “The method they use...it can fuck with your head if you ain’t doing it right, man.”

Yancy raised an eyebrow.  “Sounds serious.”

Kyle nodded.  “Hell yeah, man.  It’s legit.  They make you sign this waiver of release and everything.  We’ve had trainees drop out and go back home.”

Yancy whistled.  Kyle smiled and clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry though.  I know you two’ll make it,” said Kyle.  “Once cadets become Rangers, that’s usually pretty much it.  After that, the only reason people ‘leave’ is because they’re either dismissed from service due to something like insubordination, missing in action, or deceased.”

He half-smiled.  “Only thing the Kaiju don’t take are prisoners of war.  You can take that any way you’d like.”

“I suppose that’s reassuring,” Yancy said in response to his friend’s terrible joke.

Kyle then seemed to remember that Raleigh was there too, and frowned a little as he angled his head toward the younger man.  “Hey man, you okay?”

Yancy nudged his brother.  “ _Raleigh._  Kyle’s talking to you.”

“Hm?  Ah!  Yeah...sorry, Kyle,” Raleigh said, shaking his head.  “I spaced out for a second.”

“More than a second,” said Kyle.  “Your brother and I have been talking for a while—you’ve been awfully quiet.  Everything all right?”

The younger blonde smiled.  “Yeah, I’m fine, sorry.  This whole place is just...a lot to take in.”

“Yeah, I told the kid he could have stayed behind,” Yancy said with a sigh.  “Take care of the house...keep Jerry company.  Kid insisted on coming here with me.”

“Jeremy doesn’t need anyone looking after him, Yance,” said Raleigh.  

“And I do?”

“Yeah,” Raleigh said nodding.  “You do.”

Yancy sighed.  “It was a rhetorical question, Rals.”

“Sure.”

Kyle’s frown deepened and he looked between the brothers.  “Am I...missing something here?”

Raleigh shook his head.  “No.  Nothing...I think I’m just a little tired.”

“Oh, well if that’s all,” Kyle said, relaxing.  “Follow me then.  I’ll show you guys to your dormitory.”

“You know where we’ve been assigned?” asked Yancy.

“Yeah,” Kyle said with a grin.  “I’ve been assigned as your mentor, Yancy.”

Yancy’s lips slowly curled into a smile.  “Get outta town.”

“Nope, I’m serious!  I requested y’all personally,” said Kyle.  “Unfortunately...they wouldn’t let me take you both on at once, not for the Drifting part.”

“The Drift?” Raleigh asked.

“They’ll teach you about it in class,” Kyle said.  “It’d take too long for me to explain.”

“Oh, all right,” said Raleigh.  “Then who am I assigned?”

“That’s the good news,” said Kyle.  “Thanks to my folks, I got a few strings pulled, and so I’ll be working with the both of you, just not on the same concepts at the same time.  Yancy?  You and I are going to start with Drifting first.  That’s the mental portion of Jaeger piloting.  As for you, Raleigh, you're going to start off with the physical training.”

“And you said you weren’t bonding with your parents at all,” Yancy teased.

“I never said we weren’t getting closer,” Kyle said with a laugh.  “I just implied things are a little awkward right now...but I’m optimistic that will change over time.  I didn’t see much of them while I was here at the academy.  I see them pretty damn frequently now.  I’m sure we’ll all get sick of each other soon.”

The three men stopped in front of a metal door.  Kyle handed the brothers a set of keys.

“Well, here you are, guys,” said Kyle.  “These rooms are set up like the ones in the Shatterdome—something else you’ll be learning about—so that you know what to expect upon graduating.  And believe me, from firsthand experience, I’d say these accommodations are pretty accurate.”

“Cool, but…” Yancy held up the key on his lanyard, an amused expression on his face.  “We’re still using these?  I don’t know...the Jaeger program is hi-tech, isn’t it?  Gotta be honest...I was expecting at least keycards or something.”

“I know, right?” Kyle said, chuckling.  “All I can say is, I think whoever designed these buildings must have been a little nostalgic for home.”

Yancy nodded.  “Maybe.”

Kyle clapped his hands.  “All right!  That’s it for now.  I’ll come pick you guys up and walk y’all to class in the morning tomorrow, oh-six-hundred sharp; don’t oversleep!  And I’ll only be doing this for the first week, just so that you guys can sort of learn your way around and get the hang of things.  After that, I’ll just expect you guys to come meet me where classes are being held.”

Yancy smiled.  “You know you totally sound like an overbearing parent right now, right?”

Kyle laughed.  “Hey!  I can’t help it!  It just really is good to see you both face-to-face again.  I’ve missed y’all.”

“We’ve missed you too man,” Yancy said with a nod.  “And hell, Jerry may have never admitted it out loud, but I know he feels the same.”

“Yeah...maybe I’ll try sending him a letter or something,” said Kyle.  “Think he’ll write back?”

“Well, don’t expect a novel,” Yancy said, chuckling.  “You know he couldn’t wait to be done with English class.”

“Oh, I remember,” Kyle said, smiling.  “Who do you think wrote all his take-home papers?”

Yancy shook his head.  “Pushover.”

“Hardly.”

“Seriously though, think about it,” said Yancy.

Kyle nodded.  “Yeah, I will.  Anyway, I’ll leave you guys to it.  See you guys in the morning.”

Yancy gave his friend a mock salute.  “See ya.”

“Later, Kyle,” Raleigh said, holding up a hand.

The other man nodded back with a grin.  “Night, y’all.”

Yancy and Raleigh watched Kyle turn on his heels and disappear at the end of the hall before turning to face each other.  Yancy tilted his head in the direction of their door.

“You want to do the honors?”

Raleigh half-smiled.  “Sure, Yance.”

The younger man took his key and turned it in the lock.  He nudged the door open with his foot, revealing an ample-sized room with two beds.  Both men walked in and dropped their bags—they hadn’t brought with them much, just some clothes and a few personal effects they hadn’t wanted to leave behind.  The rest, Jeremy was keeping safe for them back in Anchorage.  

Once everything was inside, Yancy turned and locked the door behind them with a click.  His back was turned, so he didn’t notice Raleigh’s involuntary flinch.  When Yancy turned around, Raleigh had already started to unpack.  Yancy let out a small sigh and rubbed the back of his neck.  He headed for his own bags.

“Bet you’re feeling a little grody after that day we had, huh?” Yancy said.  “You want to hit the shower first?”

Raleigh shrugged.  “Doesn’t matter.  You can go ahead if you want to.”

“Nah, why don’t you,” said Yancy.  “You’re usually pretty quick.  I don’t mind hopping in after you’re done; that way I can take my time after.  Not to mention the water will already be warm.”

“All right.  If you insist.”

“It’s whatever you want to do, Rals.”

His brother laughed at the irony of that statement.  Yancy winced because he knew what his brother was thinking.  He let out a sigh of resignation.

“You could have stayed at home you know, kid.”

Raleigh shook his head.  “Yancy.  Enough.  We’ve been over this countless times already.”

“Well I felt like I should still say it,” Yancy snapped lightly as he focused on unpacking his belongings.  “It’s still not too late for you to turn around and go back.”

“Don’t think you’re the only reason why I wanted to be here,” Raleigh tossed back.  

Yancy’s posture became rigid, and his younger brother looked away.  Raleigh instantly regretted his words, but was too stubborn to take them back.

“I want to make a difference if I can, Yance.  If I’m lucky, maybe even save a life or two.”

Yancy sighed and then looked at his brother with a half-smile.  “You’ll be the best Jaeger pilot the PPDC’s ever seen, kid.  Now go wash up.”

“All right.”

The evening progressed quietly.  The two brothers took their turns in the shower and then got ready for bed.  The two silently chose which side to be on, and then both went to sleep almost as soon as their heads hit their pillows—no conversation was exchanged that first night as they were too exhausted.  

In the morning, they were awakened by the sound of pounding on their door; Kyle had come the exact hour he said he would.  Raleigh jumped awake immediately and crossed over to Yancy’s side of the room.

“Shit, Yance!” said Raleigh.  “That’s Kyle!  We must have forgotten to set our alarms last night—he’s right on time!”

Yancy groaned and rolled over in his bed.  Raleigh had always been the morning person between them.  Raleigh smacked his brother gently on the face.

“ _Come on_ , Yance!  We’re going to be late!”

The banging continued.  Raleigh quickly changed his clothes and then flung open the door to reveal Kyle’s hand stopped in mid-knock.  He gave Raleigh a lopsided grin.

“Y’all overslept, didn’t you?” he asked.

Raleigh nodded sheepishly.  “Yeah, sorry about that, Kyle.”

Kyle shook his head.  “Hey, don’t be sorry.  Just try to make a habit of getting up earlier.  I know it’s hard...the higher ups probably won’t mind too much since it’s only your first day, but they’ll expect y’all to have your shit together by the end of the week.”

Raleigh nodded.  “Yeah, we’ll do better next time.”

Kyle angled his head to look past Raleigh.  “He still asleep?”

“Yeah,” Raleigh said, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Yancy’s more of a nightowl…”

Kyle laughed.  “Well get him up, will you?  I’ll wait out here for you guys.”

“Thanks, Kyle.”

Raleigh shut the door and went back to his brother’s bed.  He shook Yancy, who still had his eyes closed.

“ _Yancy_...come on!” Raleigh said.  “Kyle’s going to get mad!”

His brother groaned again and then stretched before rising.  He let out a loud and obnoxious yawn.

“A’right...a’right...I’m up...geez…”

Raleigh half-smiled and helped turn his brother around so that Yancy’s legs were dangling off the side of his bed.  He went to Yancy’s pile of unpacked clothes and began rummaging through them while Yancy rubbed at his eyes tiredly.

“We’re late, so I’m going to pick your outfit for you,” said Raleigh.  “And just so you know, I’m going to pick the most damn embarrassing combination possible...to incentivize you to wake up earlier next time.”

Yancy chuckled and dropped from his bed.  “Hey, you overslept too…”

“Yeah, but I’m the only one totally up and ready to go, aren’t I?” Raleigh said as he tossed the clothes he chose at his brother.  “Hurry up and change.  I’m going to brush my teeth real quick.”

Yancy caught the clothes he was thrown at his chest.  Yancy looked down at what Raleigh had picked and laughed.  Raleigh had thrown him a shirt Yancy had gotten from a concert back when he was in high school, some famous rock band at the time, and a pair of jeans with a hole in the knee area.  He shook his head and quickly picked out a dark green shirt and a pair of pants that weren’t worn out.  He then walked into the bathroom and nudged Raleigh aside so that he could brush his teeth as well.  The two wrapped up quickly and were out the door in several minutes.

Kyle shook his head when the men came out from their room.  “Damn.  Y’all sure know how to take your sweet time.”

“Hey, it takes time to get pretty,” Yancy said with a shrug.

Kyle punched his friend lightly in the shoulder.  “Be serious.”

“Who says I’m not?” Yancy said, grinning.

“You’re an ass,” Kyle said, smiling despite himself.  “Honestly though, you guys need to make sure you make a habit of punctuality.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Yancy.

“We will, Kyle,” said Raleigh.  “Sorry again.”

“Hey, it’s cool,” said Kyle.  “So you two ready for your first full day as cadets?”

“You bet,” Yancy said with a smile.  

Raleigh nodded.  “Same here.”

“Great!  You’re both going to love it,” said Kyle.  “The Kaiju problem being what it is, it’s been accelerated from a year to a roughly five-and-a-half month program.”

Yancy whistled.  “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t itchin’ to go kick some Kaiju ass, but five months sounds mighty quick.”

“Y’all will be fine,” said Kyle.  “Especially you, Yancy.  You’ve always been a fighter.”

Yancy’s eyes flitted to Raleigh for a split second before looking back at Kyle and shrugging.  “Helps if you have something you want to protect.”

Kyle nodded.  “True words, my friend.”

He led the brothers to a tall open doorway.  Kyle stopped and turned to his friends.

“Alright, here we are,” said Kyle.  “So here’s how this works…”

He motioned to the left.  “Over that way is the lecture hall.  That’s where you guys will learn all the basics and go through foundational officer training.”

“What kind of stuff will we be studying?” Raleigh asked.

“Kaiju science, the basics of engineering, and battle strategies and tactics,” Kyle said, lowering his voice.  “And I’m not really supposed to tell y’all this...but it’s also going to be the toughest first eight weeks of your life.”

Yancy frowned.  “And why’s that?”

“The class is taught boot camp style,” said Kyle.  “It’s meant to weed out recruits.  Most people drop out within the first trimester.”

“Trimester?” asked Raleigh.

“Like I said, the program is roughly five-and-a-half months long,” said Kyle.  “Split into three eight-week sessions.  The first session is crucial.  Pass that, and you both will have made the first cut.”

“Then what?” asked Yancy.

“That’s when we’ll split off,” said Kyle.  “The next part of the curriculum is training in the Drift with these devices called Pons.  There’s also the Kwoon Combat Room.”

Yancy’s brows furrowed together.  “Sounds like an alien language to me.”

Kyle laughed.  “It won’t in a minute.  Anyway, Normally what happens is trainees will do four weeks of Drift Sync Testing and four weeks of the physical sparring...all at the same time.  You two, however, as you know have been given an exception.”

“That’s when we split?” asked Raleigh.

Kyle nodded.  “Yep.  Yancy’ll be starting with me in the Drift, and consider that an honor, because you’ll be the first trainee in your class to do it before the rest.  Usually they like to start you off in the Kwoon room.”

“How come?” asked Yancy.

“Because that’s usually where you find out who your lifelong partner is going to be,” said Kyle.  “See, Drifting is all about compatibility, both physical and mental.  It’s about knowing instinctively what your partner is planning on doing before he or she does it.”

“So what does the coon room have anything to do with it?” asked Yancy.

Kyle laughed.  “That’s _Kwoon_ room, man.  And it has everything to do with it.  See, trainees will go through daily sparring sessions.  In this case though, the objective is try your best to beat your partner, but also find the one who can match you blow for blow.  By the end of every round, you and your future co-pilot should pretty much always end each session in a tie.”

“Interesting,” said Yancy.  “So then how will I know who my partner will be, if I’m not with the rest of the class for the first four weeks?”

“You’ll end up with whoever is remaining in the class,” said Kyle.

Yancy frowned.  “What if that person and I aren’t compatible?”

“Not likely,” said Kyle.  “Funny thing about this program—somehow, everything always seems to pan out perfectly.  You know the whole concept of soulmates?  It’s like that.  So far in the history of this program, everyone has only proven compatible with one other pilot, and there’s never been any conflict where two people match up to the same one person.  So more than likely, whoever’s left over is the one you would have picked out for yourself anyway.”

“Huh,” said Yancy.  “Interesting.”

“Ain’t it?” said Kyle.  

“Is there a chance Yancy and I will end up together?” Raleigh asked.

“Eh...it’s certainly _possible_ ,” said Kyle.  “Though I’m not sure if that arrangement would actually be good for y’all in this case.”

Yancy frowned.  “What do you mean?”

“Well, there’s known side-effects,” said Kyle.  “Among them is the bonding that occurs between pilots who have Drifted together for a long time.”

“So we’d get closer.  Isn’t that what you’re saying?” asked Yancy.  “Wouldn’t that be a good thing?”

Kyle half-smiled.  “Not this kind of close.  For one thing, you’ll be in each other’s heads.  There are no secrets in the Drift.  You’ll have complete and uninhibited access to your partner’s every thought and memory.”

Yancy raised an eyebrow.  “Sounds almost...psychic.”

Kyle threw back his head and laughed.  “Hah!  Man...you don’t even know the half of it.  Another one of the side effects is what some of us in the department call _Ghost-Drifting_.”

“What’s that mean?” asked Yancy.

“It’ll make more sense once you guys start learning what they teach in the lecture hall,” said Kyle.  “But basically, the longer you Drift with someone, the more likely it is you’ll still hear and be able to talk to them even without the help of the Pons.  Then you’ll really be psychic.”

“So like...telepathy?” asked Raleigh.

“ _Precisely_ ,” Kyle said with a nod.  “It’s pretty neat stuff, but…”

“I don’t think that’d be a problem for us,” Raleigh said with a shrug.

“You don’t understand,” said Kyle.  “The whole process can fuck with your system.”

Yancy frowned.  “You’re being awfully vague, man…”

“Sorry,” Kyle said with a slight grimace.  “Let me just put it this way...oftentimes the best Jaeger pilot team is between a man and a woman...and it’s not uncommon for them to get married at some point.”

“Well, I guess that makes sense,” said Yancy.  “I mean, guy and a girl...stuck together...see each other every day…”

“Sounds straightforward, doesn’t it?” said Kyle.  “But it’s not.”

“It’s not?” asked Yancy.

“Not at all,” said Kyle.  “It isn’t always that these pilots fall in love...it’s what the Drift does to you.  Trends show that the Drift influences a person to develop romantic feelings for their partner...so you can imagine what happens when two men or two women get paired together…”

“Ah…” Yancy said, realization slowly creeping in.

Kyle nodded.  “Men who were straight as arrows suddenly become ‘bisexual,’ and vice versa.  Though scientists are starting to theorize that it’s less about gender.”

Raleigh frowned.  “How’s that?”

“For the majority of pilots, suddenly they’re only attracted to the individual; their co-pilot,” said Kyle.  “Throw anyone else at ‘em, male or female, and they don’t even feel tempted to stray.  The Drift’s that strong.”

“ _Really_ ,” Yancy said incredulously.

“Of course there are exceptions,” said Kyle.  “But for the most part it’s true.”

“What are the exceptions then,” asked Yancy.  

“Well, part of it is dependent on how long a pilot’s been Drifting with their partner,” said Kyle.  “You’re going to find that that’s true about most things when it comes to piloting Jaegers.  The longer people have been Drifting together, the more they’re attune to that person, and consequently they end up preferring only that one other individual.”

“And the other half?” asked Yancy.

“If a pilot’s been harboring deep feelings for someone before the Drift,” said Kyle.  “Though that comes with its own complications.”

“Such as?” Yancy asked.

Kyle shrugged.  “The other pilot could get influenced and be attracted to someone they’ve never even met in their life.  And in the off chance they do somehow, theoretically speaking they’d probably want to get with whoever it is too.  Again though, the longer pilots Drift with one another...those feelings brought in to the Drift will eventually become moot.”

“Because it sort of cancels out?” Raleigh asked.

Kyle nodded.  “Exactly.”

Yancy regarded his friend carefully and tilted his head slightly.  “Just now...were you speaking from experience, man?”

Kyle immediately became defensive.  “What?  What are you talking about, dude?”

Yancy shook his head.  “I mean, I don’t know...it just seemed like you were talking about some of the side effects like you’ve gone through them yourself.  Is there someone from home that you’ve never told me about?”

Kyle’s hazel eyes clouded.  “Nah...not exactly.”

Yancy raised an eyebrow.  “Interesting.”

Kyle frowned.  “What?”

“So there _is_ someone,” said Yancy.

Kyle flushed a faint pink.  “I ain’t saying, one way or the other.”

“So there _is!_ ” Yancy chuckled and shook his head.  “Unbelievable, man!  How come I never knew?  Does Jerry have any idea?”

Kyle groaned.  “What are we?  Gossiping school chicks all of a sudden?”

“Come on, Yance.  Leave him alone.  He hasn’t even finished telling us what to expect,” Raleigh interrupted.  “Right, Kyle?”

“Yeah, thanks, kid,” Kyle said with a weak smile.  “Uh...like I was saying.  Long story short, given what I just said about what the Drift can to do you...you guys might not like enjoying being paired up with each other so much.”

The two brothers exchanged a subtle glance that Kyle didn’t catch.  Kyle continued.

“Anyway, after all that, y’all would have made the second cut and move into the final round of training,” said Kyle.  “That’s where the fun really begins.  Hands-on training in our test ranges inside actual Jaegers.”

Raleigh smiled a little.  “Cool…”

Kyle nodded.  “Sure is.  And there’s also something called Drivesuit Testing.  Drivesuits are what you’ll be wearing into the battlefield.  It’s how you connect to the Jaeger’s system, inside this thing called a Conn-Pod.  Again, y’all will be learning about all that pretty soon.”

“Something tells me we’re already going to be a few steps ahead of our class,” Yancy said with a small grin.  

Kyle grinned back.  “Yeah, probably.  Don’t get cocky though.  Y’all still have a lot to learn.  So!  Any questions for me?”

“Yeah, two,” Yancy said with a smirk.

Kyle raised an eyebrow, still smiling.  “Oh yeah?  And what’s that, Yancy?”

“One,” Yancy said, holding up a finger.  “Are we late for class?  I mean, seeing as how you’ve been talking to us all this time and all.  And two—where do Rals and I head first?”

Kyle chuckled.  “Both good questions.  The first—yes.  At this point, you guys are both _definitely_ late, but as a mentor, I’m charged with giving y’all orientation, which should’ve been yesterday, but you both were too pooped to be shown around.”

“You should have told us!” Yancy complained.

“Eh, it’s the first day.  Y’all will be forgiven easily,” Kyle snickered.  “The professors will just be more likely to remember your faces clearly for the rest of training.”

“Oh you little shit,” Yancy said lightheartedly.  

Kyle smirked.  “In fact, I’ll be _guaranteeing_ that they will, because I’m going to escort y’all to class and apologize on your behalves.”

“Jerk,” said Yancy.

“Hey, consider it payback,” said Kyle.

“For what!” Yancy asked with a laugh.  “For the best childhood of your damn life?”

Kyle laughed.  “Whatever, man.  Come on.  Lecture hall is this way.”

The three men resumed walking and Kyle led the brothers to the main lecture hall.  All eyes were on them as they entered during the professor’s speech, and true to his word, Kyle marched them up to the front so that he could have a brief chat with the professor.  Yancy and Raleigh were lightly reprimanded and sent to their seats.  Kyle gave them a wink before leaving.  Raleigh gave Kyle a slight way.  Yancy made sure the professor wasn’t looking his way before grinning and flipping the bird on his friend.

Kyle hadn’t exaggerated when he said the first eight weeks would be the toughest.  Much to their surprise, both brothers made the first cut.  The size of their class had diminished by roughly half, and at the start of the second trimester, Raleigh proceeded with the rest of the cadets to the Kwoon room while Kyle and Yancy separated from the main group to train in the Drift.

“So this is the Pons system…” Yancy said, fingering the device in his hands.  “It looks a little less sophisticated than the pictures they show you in the textbook.”

“That’s because those were regulation Pons systems,” said Kyle.  “These are just for simulation purposes, so they don’t necessarily need all the bells and whistles.”

“Alright,” said Yancy.  “So now what?”

“Put it on,” said Kyle.  “We’re going to start immediately.”

Just then another man walked into the room.  Kyle held up his hand in greeting and the man nodded back in response.  Kyle looked at Yancy.

“Yancy?  Meet Trip.  He’s a certified Shatterdome technician and a good friend of mine from our graduating class,” said Kyle.  “Trip?  Yancy.  One of my best friends from home.”

“Pleasure, Yancy,” said Trip.  

Yancy nodded.  “Likewise.”

“So Trip here is going to be watching over us while we Drift together,” said Kyle.  “You ready, man?  I’m about to get complete and total access to every corner of your brain.”

Yancy frowned lightly.  “So there really is no way of blocking things out completely?”

“Nope,” said Kyle.  “But as you get better at it, there are ways that you and your co-pilot can develop to help focus on each other’s memories less.  That’s an important skill to have, especially when you’re first entering the Drift.  Gets you on the field faster too—not to mention can help prevent pilots going out of alignment in the middle of a skirmish, which could literally mean the difference between life and death.”

“Right,” said Yancy.  “They did tell us that in class.”

“Glad to hear you paid attention,” Kyle said with a grin.  “You weren’t exactly top of our class in high school.  I was surprised to hear you got high marks.”

“Hey, this stuff is actually interesting,” said Yancy.  “I pay attention to things I find worth my time.”

“Can’t argue with you there,” said Kyle.  “Because this sure is.  Now, before Trip here helps us go under, I just want you to remember something important.”

“Yeah?  And what’s that?” Yancy asked.

“The Drift is silence,” said Kyle.  “The less you focus on something, the faster you can sync with your co-pilot so you both can quickly be of one mind and one body.”

Yancy wet his lips and nodded.  “All right.  I’ll try to remember that.”

“Good,” said Kyle.  “Then let’s get started.”

Both he and Yancy settled themselves in chairs before placing the Pons systems on their heads.  Yancy gave his friend a thumbs up and Kyle grinned.  The brunette then turned to Trip and signaled.

“Fire it up, man!”

Trip nodded.  “You got it!”

The LOCCENT officer entered a few commands into the dashboard in front of him and soon Kyle and Yancy were thrust into the Drift.  What the professor had described about Drifting in class was nothing in comparison to what Yancy was experiencing firsthand.  He tried to hold onto the piece of advice Kyle had given him just moments before, but he couldn’t help himself.  He became fascinated by the rush of memories; most were in color, but they were tinted with a blue haze.  

They were in Kyle’s memories, Yancy realized almost instantly because he recognized little to nothing of what was going on.  He also saw a few that were vaguely familiar—memories he also had, but it was interesting to see things from Kyle’s perspective, and to feel Kyle’s emotions.  Then, something interesting happened.

At first, Yancy didn’t understand what he was looking at.  He was seeing two young men getting hot and heavy on some couch.  Yancy strained to get a closer look, and suddenly he _was_ one of the boys on the couch, and he was staring right into a pair of grey eyes and his hands were running through jet black hair, which was all so familiar somehow.  While Yancy was slowly trying to piece together how in the world that could be, he suddenly heard Kyle’s voice echo in his mind.

“ _Oh no...fuck, Yancy!  Shit!  Stop!  Get out of there, come on!”_

Outside the connection, Yancy’s head jerked and Trip frowned.  Yancy and Kyle’s neural handshake was going out of alignment.

“What the hell…?” Trip muttered as he typed out a few commands.

Within the Drift, at that exact moment Yancy’s eyes widened because he realized why that face looked so familiar.  He felt a sensation like Kyle was yanking him away from that memory, and perhaps it was because of what he had just seen that caused them both to be thrust into some of Yancy’s own dirty little secrets.

Yancy felt the hold drop on him when suddenly the moment he took Raleigh to bed for the first time played in front of them.  Then it became Yancy’s turn to panic.

“ _Fuck!”_ Yancy cried in his mind.  “ _No, not that!”_

The mental bond between the men began to rapidly deteriorate, and Trip was now typing commands frantically into the dashboard.  He frowned deeply.

“Shit!  What’s going on in there?” Trip said before lifting a hatch and pushing down on the override button.

Yancy and Kyle were immediately thrust out of the Drift, and both men jerked forward when they were released from the connection.  Both men got up simultaneously and frowned.

“What the fuck was that!” Yancy exclaimed.

“I could ask you the same damn thing!” Kyle shouted.  “What the hell!”

Yancy shook his head.  “You and Jerry?   _Seriously?_ ”

“Yes!” Kyle said, flushing red.  “I mean...no!  That was just...no...just no.”

“No?” Yancy asked, eyebrow raised.  

Kyle held the bridge of his nose.  “That was all just imagined, okay?”

Trip cleared his throat.  Both men bristled and turned on him with surprised looks—they had clearly forgotten the man would be there.  Trip frowned.

“Everything...all right here, guys?” Trip asked.  “You two went out of alignment real fast.”

Kyle shook his head.  “Everything’s fine man.  We just need to sort out a couple things, that’s all.  We’ll be back...I think.”

Kyle grabbed his friend by the shirt.  Yancy scowled.

“Hey!”

“No,” Kyle said, shaking his head.  “We need to talk.   _Now._ In private.”

He dragged Yancy out of the simulation room and down the hall before pushing his friend away by the chest.  Kyle put his hands on his hips.

“Okay, dude.  Talk,” said Kyle.  “What the hell was all that about in there?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Yancy said stubbornly.

“The fuck you don’t!” Kyle hissed.  “Dude, man...I mean I’ve always known you and Raleigh were close for brothers, but _Yancy_...what the hell have you been doing to the poor kid?  He didn’t even look like he wanted any part of what you did to him!  I’m surprised he even wants to be here with you.”

“He didn’t come here just for me,” said Yancy.

Kyle shook his head.  “The kid was just mad at you when he said that, and understandably so.  I could tell in his eyes though, from that memory.  He didn’t mean a word of it.”

Yancy sighed.  “Well what the hell do you want me to do about it?”

“Are you serious, man?  You put a stop to it!” said Kyle.  “What you’re doing isn’t just wrong...it’s _sick_.”

“Oh, like you’re any better,” Yancy scoffed.  “You’re the one having fantasies about Jerry screwing you into next Tuesday!”

“At least they’re just _fantasies_ ,” Kyle growled.  “They aren’t hurting anyone!”

“Guys!  What’s going on?”

The two men stopped their bickering and turned to the source of the voice.  Both men looked surprised upon seeing that it was Raleigh.  Kyle frowned.

“Raleigh…?  What are you doing here?” Kyle asked.  “Shouldn’t you be in Kwoon?”

“I _was_ ,” said Raleigh.  “The instructor told me to come find Yancy.  I tried looking for you guys in the Drift room, but this guy in there said that you guys had left.  I heard shouting down the hall and so I thought I’d check.”

He frowned.  “What are you guys fighting over, anyway?”

“ _Nothing_ ,” Yancy said, shooting Kyle a glare.

Kyle’s eyes narrowed and his lips pressed into a thin line.  Yancy looked at his brother.  

“So why are they looking for me in Kwoon?” Yancy asked.

Raleigh half-smiled.  “I was one of the first ones up to spar, and I pretty much kicked everyone’s ass in less than fifteen minutes.”

He gave the two men a slight shrug.  “When the professor said he thought I was fighting too harshly, I told him that I knew of one person that could for sure match me blow-for-blow.”

Yancy raised an eyebrow.  “Let me guess.  You told him I could?”

“Lucky guess,” Raleigh said dryly.  “The professor asked to see for himself.  He told me if it turns out I’m wrong, then I have to make more of an effort to read the other cadets so I can find my potential co-pilot.”

“Interesting…” said Kyle.  “The instructor thinks you lack discipline.”

Raleigh shrugged.  “I guess.  I really don’t know what his reasoning is.”

“If I were to take a stab at understanding him, I’d say he’s thinking you’ve missed the point of sparring,” said Kyle.  “Drifting isn’t just about mental superiority.  It’s equally about trust.  Balance.  Piloting a Jaeger is not a one-man show—sometimes you have to concede to what the other half wants.  You know the saying...two heads are better than one.  Sometimes one person knows how to better respond to the situation than the other.”

“Well, regardless…” said Raleigh.  “The professor wants to see Yancy and I spar each other.  Can he come?”

“Yeah…” Kyle said with a sigh before looking at Yancy.  “But don’t think we’re done yet, man.  We’ll finish talking later.”

Kyle then looked at Raleigh.  “And then you and I are going to have to have a little chat too.”

Yancy frowned.  “Now listen, Kyle—”

“ _Can it_ , Yancy,” Kyle snapped.  “I’m y’all’s mentor here, so I get the final call on things like this.”

Yancy fumed.  “You pulling rank on me, man?”

“That’s the corner you’ve boxed me in!”

“Oh, _bullshit_.”

“ _Guys!_ ” Raleigh said with a frown.

Both men turned to look at him.  Raleigh shook his head.

“Seriously, what’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Yancy grumbled.  “Come on.  Show me where the Kwoon room is.”

“All right...” Raleigh said, somewhat hesitantly.  “Kyle...you coming?”

Kyle sighed.  “Yeah...right behind you, Raleigh.”

The three men walked in uncomfortable silence all the way to the Kwoon room.  Upon entering, they were greeted with the fascinated whispers of other cadets and the stern face of the sparring instructor.  Raleigh tilted his head in Yancy’s direction.

“Professor…” he said.  “This is my brother.  Yancy Becket.”

“Hm.  Very well, _Becket_...and Becket,” the man said, nodding at Yancy in acknowledgement.

Yancy gave a slight nod back.  “Uh...so...what are we doing, professor?”

The man reached for two poles and tossed them at the brothers, who caught them simultaneously.  A slight brow raised.

“Interesting…” said the professor.  

Raleigh turned to his brother and spoke before the teacher could give them instructions.  “Okay.  Here’s what we’re supposed to do, Yance.  Think of it kind of like fencing or kendo.”

He twisted the pole he was holding one way and then the other.  “You don’t actually hit the other party, but you fight and try to find the opening.”

“Then you stop right before the blow would land?” Yancy asked.

“Yes!  Exactly,” said Raleigh.  “Ready to go?”

Yancy shrugged slightly.  “Sure.”

Raleigh nodded.  “Then take a few steps back—I’m going to do the same.”

The instructor cleared his throat.  “Well then...I suppose all I have left to say is I will be telling you both when to begin exchanging blows, as well as keep the score.”

“Got it,” said Yancy.

The man shook his head.  “I am going to suggest adding basic etiquette to the curriculum...as a _remedial_ course, for trainees like you who clearly don’t know any matters.”

Raleigh rolled his eyes.  “C’mon, let’s get this show on the road, boss.”

Their instructor grunted.  “Fine.  Very well.  Begin!”

Raleigh reacted quickly; he had landed his first ‘blow’ before Yancy had a chance to understand what was happening.  The instructor wrote something down on his clipboard.

“One-zero,” he said.

Raleigh shot Yancy a look of irritation, and Yancy frowned.  Then a small smirk formed on his face when he realized what it was Raleigh was telling him—to hurry up and figure out what he had to do and then be serious.

“Okay, kid,” said Yancy.  “If that’s how you want it to be.”

The instructor cleared his throat again.  “Round two.  Begin!”

This time, Yancy’s movements were a lot quicker, and he was able to find a weakness in Raleigh’s defense.  The instructor raised an eyebrow and jotted some more things down on his clipboard.

“Most interesting,” said the man.  “One-one.  Next round...begin!”

Everyone in the room watched the next few rounds unfold with interest.  Admittedly, it was a somewhat fascinating sight.  It was as if the men were dancing with each other—neither ever broke eye contact, and yet without looking elsewhere both men were able to attack and block each other almost flawlessly.  Finally, the score settled at three-two, Raleigh to Yancy.  

“Last round,” said the instructor.  “Either you two will prove compatible, or the opposite.  Make sure you give it all you’ve got.”

Yancy cracked his neck.  “Wouldn’t dream of giving the kid anything less.”

Raleigh smirked.  Kyle watched the two brothers in contemplative silence.  

“Final round,” said the instructor.  “Begin!”

At the last second, Yancy landed his target; both boys were breathing heavily.  The instructor nodded with reluctant approval and their fellow classmates broke out into applause.  Kyle was in a corner of the room, shaking his head with an unreadable expression in his eyes.

When the ruckus died down, the instructor spoke.  “Well, gentlemen...it appears that I have been proven wrong.”

Raleigh and Yancy exchanged a mutual grin.  The instructor shook his head.

“How very curious,” he said.  “Sibling teams are rare.  You are only the fourth out of a greater pool of official Jaeger pilots.”

“Oh yeah?” Raleigh asked curiously.  “Who are the other three?”

“Triplets from China, a pair of brothers from Australia, and twins from Anchorage, just like yourselves,” said the instructor.  “The Wei triplets and the Hansen brothers are both from last year’s graduating class.  The Gage brothers are the ones from Anchorage.  They graduated the year before last.”

“Wei, Hansen and Gage, huh…?” Raleigh said with a small smile.  “I’d sure like to meet ‘em.”

“Given your performance just now, I do not doubt that you will…” the instructor said without amusement.  “Perhaps I shouldn’t say this, lest it get to your heads...but you two have something interesting that the previous teams did not.”

“Yeah?  And what’s that?” asked Yancy.

“To be fair...each team has brought a different unique aspect to the table,” said the instructor.  “The Wei triplets are the first and only three-person team, and the Hansen brothers both brought with them previous tactical training experience.  The Gage twins both have backgrounds in mixed-martial arts.”

“Mmhmm…go on,” said Yancy.

“Those men, however, took time to establish their synchronicity,” said the instructor.  “Which was improved through Drift training.  You two on the other hand…”

The man frowned.  “You both appear unusually compatible with one another.  Both mind and body.”

Yancy briefly looked over in Kyle’s direction and saw his friend’s jaw clench.  Yancy half-smiled and looked at the professor.

“We’ve always been pretty close,” he said.

The instructor nodded.  “It shows.”

The man scribbled a few notes on his clipboard and then looked up at the brothers.  “Well then, gentlemen.  You two are officially partners.  I am recommending that your mentor guide you both in Drifting first, and then you both may come back here during the last four weeks to train one-on-one with me while the others are Drifting.  I’d like to work with the two of you personally.”

Kyle frowned.  “Sir, I don’t know if that’s—”

The instructor looked at Kyle with a raised eyebrow.  “Problem, Ranger?”

Kyle looked as if he were about to say something and then shook his head.  “Never mind.  No, sir.”

The instructor nodded.  “Good.”

He looked back at Yancy and Raleigh.  “The two of you are dismissed for today.  I expect you both to be ready to work with your mentor closely in the Drift come tomorrow morning.”

“You got it,” said Yancy.  “Come on, Rals.”

“Okay,” said Raleigh.

The two of them walked out of the Kwoon room with Kyle trailing close behind them.  When they were all out of earshot of the instructor and the other cadets, Kyle spoke up.

“Look...we all really need to talk,” said Kyle.  

“About what?” Raleigh asked.  “Does this have to do with what you and Yance were arguing about before?”

“Yes,” Kyle said with a nod.

Yancy frowned.  “What good will talking do?  Listen.  Kyle.  You heard that guy.  Raleigh and I are partners now.  That’s it.  Done deal.  End of story.”

“You know what?  Let’s not talk about this here,” said Kyle.  “How about we chat in your dorm?”

“Fine,” said Yancy.  

Raleigh trailed behind the two older men and looked between them contemplatively.  They reached the Becket’s dorm in several minutes.  As soon as Raleigh shut the door behind them, Kyle started.

“I have half a mind to report what I just saw to the higher ups,” said Kyle.  

Raleigh’s eyes widened slightly.  “Kyle...what’s going on?”

Yancy frowned.  “You’d do well to listen to the half that’s telling you to mind your own business.”

Kyle shook his head.  “If you really want to do right by your brother, you’ll agree to a separation order.”

“What?  Why?” Raleigh asked.  “Weren’t we just assigned together because we’re Drift compatible?”

“Raleigh, you don’t have to defend him anymore,” said Kyle.  “I’m sorry I didn’t have a clue what was going on all this time.”

“Seriously, what are you talking about?” asked Raleigh.

Yancy scowled.  “He saw some things while we were Drifting that he shouldn’t have.”

“I told you, there are no secrets in the Drift,” said Kyle.  “Yancy, you need help, man.”

Raleigh’s jaw dropped slightly when the realization suddenly hit.  “Oh _shit_ , Kyle...did you see…?”

“Yancy doing things to you that he shouldn’t?” Kyle said, nodding.  “Hell yeah, I saw.”

Raleigh blanched.  “Kyle, listen…”

“Don’t even think you can convince me that you’re okay with what’s going on,” Kyle said with a frown.  “I won’t believe you for a second.”

Raleigh stepped between Kyle and his brother.  “I won’t let you separate us.”

“You can’t be serious.  Can’t you see that it would be for your own good?” Kyle asked, exasperated.    

“I understand your concern, Kyle,” Raleigh said calmly.  “But I can’t say I agree.”

“I’ve given him plenty of chances to walk away,” Yancy offered.

Raleigh nodded and looked at Kyle.  “He did.  And I didn’t take any of them.”

“Look, you’re scared, I get it,” Kyle said, shaking his head.  “But Raleigh...it doesn’t have to be like this.  We can find you an alternative partner.”

“I thought you said that wasn’t possible?” Raleigh asked with a frown.

“It won’t be the same, that’s for sure,” Kyle admitted.  “Pilots are not often partnered with a secondary choice, as the compatibility will be somewhat less.”

“It’s _fine_ , Kyle,” said Raleigh.  “I know it’s a lot to take in...but what you probably saw happened a long time ago.  Yancy’s not like that anymore.”

Kyle frowned.  “I can’t believe what I’m hearing!”

Raleigh sighed.  “I know this must seem like a lot to take in…”

“Well that’s the understatement of the century,” Kyle muttered.

Raleigh looked over his shoulder at his brother.  “Can I have a second with him please, Yance?”

Yancy shrugged.  “Sure.  No one’s stopping you, kid.”

Raleigh half-smiled and then looked back at Kyle.  “Could we step out for a second?”

Kyle sighed.  “All right…”

The two men stepped out into the hallway, leaving Yancy inside.  Raleigh rubbed at the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry you had to see what you did in the Drift…” said Raleigh.  “But I need you to understand something.”

“And what’s that?” asked Kyle.

“I’ll admit, things haven’t always been easy for us,” said Raleigh.  “Despite everything though, I still love him.”

“Raleigh…”

“Think what you want about it, but I can’t leave him, Kyle,” said Raleigh.  “And if you’re at all the good friend to my brother that you’ve always been, then you’ll turn a blind eye to this and just accept things as they are.”

Kyle shook his head.  “I just don’t understand…”

“I know, it’s confusing,” Raleigh said, his voice shaking.  “But I hope that this doesn’t change what we’ve built together...we’ve all known each other too long.”

“I...I’ll try,” Kyle said with a small smile.  “But if at any time you decide this isn’t what you want anymore…”

“Then I’ll come running to you for help,” Raleigh said with a nod.  “I promise.”

Kyle sighed.  “Then...you know what?  That’s good enough for me.”

“So we cool then?” Raleigh asked.

“Guess so,” Kyle said with a slight shrug.  

The two men stood there in brief silence.  Finally, Kyle spoke up again.

“Well...I guess I’ll see the two of you tomorrow.”

Raleigh nodded.  “Bright and early.”

“All right.”

Kyle turned and started down the hall.  Raleigh watched him turn the corner before going back into the dorm room to find Yancy pacing.  His brother looked up when Raleigh clicked the door shut.

“Well?  What’s he sayin’?” asked Yancy.

Raleigh half-smiled.  “We’re okay.  He said he’ll see us tomorrow.”

His brother visibly relaxed.  “That’s...good, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, seems that way,” Raleigh said with a nod.  “But I guess we’ll find out for sure over the next few days.”

Yancy nodded.  “I’d say that sounds about right.”

The two brothers stared at each other for a few moments.  Then, Yancy opened his arms.

“C’mere, Rals.”

Raleigh walked into his brother’s gentle embrace and leaned his head against his brother’s chest.  Yancy’s head rested atop Raleigh’s.  The older man let out a soft sigh.

“Ral—”

“The Drift will make us closer,” Raleigh said suddenly, cutting off whatever his brother had been about to say.  “If my guess is right, then by Drifting together, we’ll get to understand each other better because we’ll be able to see things we normally wouldn’t from our individual perspective.”

He felt his brother nod.  “Probably...yeah.”

Raleigh pushed back from his brother and looked up into Yancy’s eyes.  “Maybe then I’ll understand why…”

Yancy cupped his hands around his brother’s face and searched his eyes.  “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Raleigh smiled sadly at his brother.  “...me too.”


	10. Entanglement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had to go back to the last chapter and edit a detail to make this chapter work. Nothing too major though. Also, I changed some events in here from what I suppose is considered "canon." Among them are the exclusion of Naomi Solokov, Yamarashi is their fourth Kaiju kill (instead of their first), and certain facts about the Romeo Blue team. There are other things I tweaked as well, but I hope that since this is fanfic-landia, any changes I've made will be graciously excused by readers. Also, sorry it took so long for this chapter to come out. I meant to have it posted two days ago, but then I discovered a whole bunch of things that I felt like I needed to fix or make more clear, so that’s why it took longer. Oh, and also I had to edit a few things for the OP...
> 
> By the way, just as an FYI, timeline-wise, I've crunched two years into one chapter. Lolol.
> 
> As always, reader support is greatly appreciated. Thanks to all those who have left kudos!! And of course, much love to my regular reviewers. Onward we go!

The Drift gave the brothers way more than they bargained for.  They did indeed grow closer, but not in the way either of them had expected.  To put it lightly, the situation was a bit of a mess.

The first couple of nights after they started Drifting regularly, Yancy had woken up screaming from Raleigh’s nightmares.  His younger brother always rushed to his side to comfort him.  After several weeks, Raleigh began to suffer from his own conflicts.  As a result of their Drifting, Yancy’s desire for Raleigh intensified, and when his brother took him to bed, Raleigh found his mind screaming _no_ , but his body always said _yes_.  Sometimes, perhaps due to Yancy’s subtle influence through the Drift, Raleigh found himself surprised that there were days his heart was swayed and inclined to agree with the opinions of his flesh.  There was no consistency in Raleigh’s mornings after—sometimes he woke up confused and other days he’d wake up unaffected.  Eventually, though, Raleigh decided that he was going to stop psychoanalyzing things.  

They graduated from the academy mid-November, and by early December they were transferred to the Anchorage Shatterdome along with Kyle as Rangers.  There, they became briefly acquainted with Marshal Stacker Pentecost, who gave a quick welcoming speech to all the newly inducted Jaeger pilots.  Soon after, the freshman recruits were ushered into their first mess hall, while the returning mentor pilots were called to a meeting.  This was where Kyle and the brothers parted ways.

“My advice?  Don’t be antisocial.  Get acquainted with your fellow Jaeger pilots,” said Kyle.  “I think they’re going to tell us your room assignments and hand us keys to distribute again, just like back at the academy...it’ll be my last duty as your mentor, in a sense.”

Yancy nodded.  “We’ll see you soon, Kyle.”

The brunette’s response wasn’t cold, but he didn’t offer the older Becket a smile either; their relationship had been had become somewhat tepid since the academy.  Kyle’s attitude towards Raleigh was friendlier.  He gave the younger blonde a friendly slap on the shoulder.

“It may be awhile before they ease you guys into actual combat,” said Kyle.  “So in case I forget when I give y’all the keys and I happen to not see you two for a while...you make sure to take care of yourself.  All right?”

Raleigh nodded.  “Of course, Kyle.”

“Good,” said Kyle.  

He took one last look at Yancy before turning on his heels and joining the rest of the more seasoned pilots.  Yancy sighed and Raleigh gently touched his hand to his brother’s arm.

“He’ll come around eventually, Yance,” said Raleigh.  “He’s got to.”

Yancy ruffled his brother’s hair affectionately and gave him a half-smile.  “I ain’t too worried about it, Rals.  Come on.  You hungry?  Let’s grab some food and pick a table.”

Raleigh smiled.  “Sounds almost like high school all over again, doesn’t it?”

His brother chuckled.  “Sure does, kid.  Free food though...that’s different.”

“Best idea ever, you mean,” Raleigh said with a grin.

The pair plopped food on their trays and then randomly chose a table in the center of all the chaos.  They were quickly welcomed by their fellow Jaeger pilots.

“Ey!  Welcome to the party!” said one, acknowledging the Beckets.  “The name’s Trevin.  Trevin Gage.”

Trevin pointed at the man seated beside him.  “And this here would be my brother, Bruce.  Though you all probably figured that one out real quick, eh?”

“We’re twins,” Bruce said with a grin.

Raleigh recognized the name immediately.  “Gage!  I’ve heard a lot about the two of you.”

“Only good things, I hope,” the one named Trevin said with a smile.  “Anything bad, I let Bruce here take all the credit for.  They’re real, you know, evil twins!”

“Hey, I take offense to that!” said Bruce.

Raleigh laughed.  “No, nothing bad.”

“Well thank goodness!” said Trevin.  “What all have you heard then?”

“That you are only one of three brother-based teams,” said Raleigh.  “That is, until us.”

Trevin raised his eyebrows when Raleigh motioned to Yancy and himself.  “Say!  You must be the Beckets then.”

“Oh ho!  We’ve heard about you lot quite a bit,” said Bruce.  

Yancy cocked a brow at Raleigh.  “It seems our reputation precedes us here…”

Trevin laughed.  “Sure does!  You both will be doing it soon enough yourselves, but us active Rangers always get a progress report about the next incoming class, pretty much once toward the end of each of the trimesters.”

“People might not know you two by face yet, but they certainly know you both by name,” Bruce added.

“How’s that?” Raleigh asked.

“Don’t you boys know about your compatibility score?” Bruce asked curiously.

The brothers looked at each other questioningly before looking back at the twins and shaking their heads.  Yancy shrugged.

“No clue, why?” he asked.

Trevin thwacked his brother lightly on the back of the head.  Bruce frowned.

“Ow!  Hey!  What’d you do that for?” he asked, rubbing his head.

Trevin shook his head.  “You idiot!  Of course they wouldn’t know.  Those scores aren’t published and distributed at the academy.”

Bruce chuckled.  “Oh yeah, that’s right.”

“So uh...what was our score then?” asked Raleigh.

“Pretty damn high,” Bruce said with a grin.  “In fact, you two currently hold the record.”

Yancy raised an eyebrow.  “ _Really_.”

“Scout’s honor,” Bruce said, making the signal with his hand.

“You boys should be proud,” Trevin said with a nod.  

“Who held the record before?” Raleigh asked.

“Why, us of course!” said Bruce.

It was Raleigh’s turn to be surprised.  “ _Really_.”

“Ha!  Would y’look at that, Trev?” Bruce said, looking at his brother.  “They’re totally in sync.”

“Sure looks that way, doesn’t it?” Trevin said with a smile.

Just then, Kyle approached the table.  “Yancy, Raleigh...there you guys are.”

“Hey, it’s Hunter!” said Bruce.

“How’s it going, Hunter?” said Trevin.

“Ranger Gage and...Gage,” Kyle said, nodding at each of them.

“You were looking for us?” Raleigh asked.

Kyle nodded and held out his hand.  “To give you both these—the lanyards have your keys on ‘em, and I’m also giving you both your dog tags.”

Both Raleigh and Yancy accepted the items being handed to them.  Raleigh took a look at the engraving on his.  There were two to a chain, and they contained duplicate information listing the intended wearer’s name, Ranger Number, Strike Group, co-pilot’s name, and the name of the Jaeger they were assigned.  There was also one row of letters and numbers that were codes signifying rank and any known allergens.  Yancy’s brows furrowed together as he looked over similar information on his own tags.  

“Gipsy Danger...huh?” he said before looking up at Kyle.  “That the name of the Jaeger we’ve been assigned?”

Kyle nodded.  “That’s right.  It’s a Mark Three.  Top of the line, too—it’s not digital like the Mark Fours or Fives, but the way it’s designed, the those piloting it aren’t likely to suffer any of the negative effects of its nuclear reactor.”

“That was the problem with the Mark Ones and Twos, right?” asked Yancy.

Kyle nodded.  “For the most part, that’s true.  Some were modified though, later on.”

“What do you ride?” asked Raleigh.

“Tango Tasmania,” said Kyle.  “It’s a Mark One.”

“I’m assuming it’s been modified to be less lethal?” asked Yancy.

“That’s right,” said Kyle.

“His co-pilot is Ethan Bentley,” Bruce added.  “Strong and silent type, that one...and of course he’s a hit with the ladies too.”

Kyle shook his head in mild disapproval.  “I don’t think my partner would appreciate gossip about him while he’s not present.”

“Oh _relax_ , Hunter!” Bruce chortled.  “It’s not like I’ve really said anything bad.  Ah!  Look!  There he is now.”

Upon seeing who Bruce was pointing at, Yancy immediately thought he understood why the young man had been paired with Kyle.  Aside from a few key differences in facial structure and height, the man carried a lot of similarities to their mutual friend, Jeremy Daniels—built, but not bulky, and with a crop of raven-colored hair.  The eyes were different though; while Jeremy’s eyes were a stormy grey, Ethan’s were a striking emerald green.  

Yancy caught Kyle’s eyes for a split second, and the other man quickly averted them.  The man named Ethan approached their table with a mild scowl on his face.  He didn’t pay anyone other than Kyle any mind.

“What are you still hanging around here for?” he asked.  “You said you were coming right back.”

“My fault,” Kyle said, motioning toward Raleigh and Yancy.  “Got caught up in conversation with my childhood friends.”

Ethan turned to look at the brothers and seemed to notice them for the first time.  Yancy raised an eyebrow as he watched Ethan look between them, a contemplative look on his face.  After a couple seconds, the dark-haired man pointed at Raleigh first, and then Yancy.

“Raleigh...and you’re...Yancy?” he asked.

“That’s right,” Raleigh said, nodding.  “How’d you know?”

“No secrets in the Drift,” Kyle and Yancy said simultaneously.

The other men at the table regarded the both of them curiously.  Kyle rubbed the back of his neck.

“I mentored him in the Drift back at the academy,” Kyle said, by way explanation.  “Just a few sessions, and then he worked with his brother for the remainder of the program.”

Ethan frowned.  “If it was only a handful of times, how come it seems like you’re both somewhat synchronized?”

“Honestly?  I think it must be because we’ve been friends so long,” Kyle said, shaking his head.

“Wait a minute…” Yancy said, turning on Kyle and whispering so only he could hear.  “So if Raleigh and I had been reassigned…”

Kyle nodded and spoke softly back.  “I probably would have been your secondary, and Raleigh here probably would have been paired with Ethan, because he’s got my memories loaded into him too.”

“Wow,” said Yancy.  “No wonder you’ve speculated about Jerry.”

Kyle gave a slight shrug.  “Nothing more than wishful thinking.”

Yancy half-smiled.  “Hm…”

“Oi!  You two going to let us in on your little conversation or what?” Bruce asked jovially.  

Before either man could respond, there was the sound of a siren.  Suddenly all soldiers in the mess hall quieted and everyone listened carefully to the announcement being made overhead.

“ _Category One Kaiju breach.  Requesting that all teams ready to deploy report to the hangar immediately.”_

“Category One…” Kyle muttered.

He turned to Yancy and Raleigh.  “You two ready to just jump into things and kick some Kaiju butt?”

Both brothers grinned and spoke simultaneously.  “Hell yes!”

Kyle smiled.  “Then come on.  Let’s get y’all acquainted with your Jaeger.”

Yancy and Raleigh barely had time to process all that happened next.  They followed Kyle and his partner to where they kept the Jaegers and saw the other teams being deployed; among them were the Hansen brothers who the Beckets had met earlier. Trevin gave the brothers a friendly nod and Bruce flashed them a smile and a wink as all the pilots were being suited up.  While waiting for their turn to be taken to their Conn-Pod, Raleigh looked up at the Jaeger he and his brother had been assigned.

“Quite a beauty, isn’t she, Rals?” asked Yancy.

Raleigh nodded.  “Sure is.”

“You ready kid?”

“I—”

Raleigh’s response was cut off by a Shatterdome technician.  “Team Gipsy, please report to the platform!”

Yancy tilted his head slightly in the direction of where they were being called.  “C’mon kid.  Look’s like we’re up.  Let’s go.”

The brothers approached the man who had called for them, who was currently looking down at the information he held on his clipboard.  When he looked up, he smiled at the two men and held out a hand.

“The name’s Tendo.  Tendo Choi,” the man said with a grin.  “It was a pleasure being a part of your graduating class.”

“Hey there, Tendo,” Raleigh said, smiling and shaking the other man’s hand.  “Sorry to say I don’t remember you too well.”

“Ah, that’s okay,” Tendo said, giving Raleigh a smile back.  “I’m sure our paths will cross quite often.  We’ll have plenty of time to get to know one another.  I’m a part of LOCCENT.”

“Cool,” said Raleigh.  “So what’s the next step?”

“Right.  Follow me,” said Tendo.

Yancy and Raleigh trailed behind the technician as the man explained.  “Now that you’re all suited up, we’re going to get you guys inside your pod.  There, people will be helping connect you to the operating system.  Once you’re all buckled in, then we connect you to the Jaeger.  Will this be your first time in actual combat?”

“That’s correct,” said Yancy.  

“Well, you should be well-prepared for this—for the most part it’s going to feel like a regular training session,” said Tendo.  “But just remember not to get careless or you will get killed.”

“That seems to go without saying,” said Yancy.

“Ah, but you’d be surprised how quickly people can forget,” said Tendo.  “Anyway, it’s a Category One, so it should be safe enough for you guys out there.  You’ll be with veterans out there, so it shouldn’t be too bad.”

They stopped in front of the entrance to Gipsy Danger’s Conn-Pod.  Tendo turned to them.

“Good luck, gentlemen,” he said.  “I’ll be your support back in Mission Control.”

“Looking forward to working with you,” Raleigh said with a nod.

“Likewise,” said Tendo before turning back down the hall.

The two brothers walked into the Conn-Pod.  Yancy turned to Raleigh and grinned.

“I’m older, so I’ll take the side that says number one.”

“What?  Hey, that’s not fair!” said Raleigh.

“Too bad!” Yancy said with a laugh.  “I called it.”

Before Raleigh could really kick up a fuss, Yancy had already moved to where the attendants were waiting to load someone onto the Jager’s right-hemisphere.  Raleigh shook his head and went over to the left side.  The support team made quick work of plugging them in.  As soon as they filed out of the pod, there was a brief moment of silence before the Jaeger’s head was dropped onto the rest of its structure, connecting to the body.  

Once they were connected, Tendo’s voice crackled over their communications system.  “ _Tendo here!  Everyone okay in there?”_

“Couldn’t be better,” Yancy replied.  “Tell us what we’re doing, Tendo!”

“ _You’re going to be deployed several feet away from the action,”_ said Tendo.  “ _You’ll be flanked by two veteran teams who’ll step in if it looks like you guys need assistance.”_

Bruce’s voice crackled through the communications system.  “ _Team Romeo here.  Try to not let yourselves get killed on your first run, eh, boys?”_

Trevin’s laughter came through next.  “ _Don’t pay my bro any mind; he’s just jealous that you’ve taken the limelight off us.”_

“ _Borrowed!”_ Bruce shot back.  “ _They’re_ _ **borrowing**_ _the limelight.”_

Yancy laughed.  “You sure about that?”

“You old-timers might need to hang it up after this one,” Raleigh added, grinning.  “What’s that they say?  Out with the old and in with the new?”

“ _Big words, my friend,”_ said Bruce.  “ _But can you deliver?”_

“ _Save the trash talk for later, guys,"_ Kyle’s voice cut sharply through.  “ _We’ve got a Kaiju problem to take care of.”_

“ _Aw...you’re no fun, Hunter,”_ said Bruce.

“ _Ranger Hunter has a point,”_ said Tendo.  “ _Good luck, gentlemen.  Neural handshake process will initiate once you all have been dropped in the ocean.”_

“Roger that,” Yancy said before temporarily muting their connection and looking over at his brother.  “You ready, kid?”

Raleigh flicked a tongue over his lower lip and nodded silently.  Yancy half-smiled.  As they had been informed, they were dropped in the ocean a fair distance away from an oncoming Kaiju along with the supporting teams.  

“Remember kid,” Yancy said to him, echoing a phrase he had picked up from Kyle.  “The Drift is silence.”

Raleigh nodded once and then braced himself just before both brothers were plunged into the Drift.  This was the part that he dreaded most.  Yancy had gotten better about not fixating on any one memory, but sometimes Raleigh couldn’t help his own searching.

There were the fantasies.   _Yancy wanting to pin Raleigh’s hands over his bed and fucking him hard against their bedroom wall.  Raleigh’s face tucked between Yancy’s legs, looking up at his brother while sucking him._ And the memories.   _Yancy being his first kiss.  Yancy jerking him off in the bathroom when he was just a high school freshman._

All these things that stirred within him feelings of fear, shame, and resentment.  That is, until Yancy inadvertently revealed to him some of his deeper thoughts.  To Raleigh, they were explanations.

 _Yancy trying his hardest not to look at Raleigh that way.  Yancy trying to stop himself from touching his brother, and hating himself more and more each time he failed._ When Raleigh saw these things, he couldn’t bring himself to hate his brother.   _Because Yancy loved Raleigh, and that’s why he decided to walk away, except their father had walked out on them first._

“Don’t chase the rabbit, kid!”

Yancy’s voice yanked him out of his reverie, and Raleigh’s head jerked as he felt himself thrust back into reality.  He let out a small gasp and turned his head toward his brother, who was looking at him in mild concern.

“You all right, kiddo?”

Raleigh nodded.  “Yeah.”

“Good,” Yancy said, and Raleigh didn’t notice the tightness in his brother’s voice.

In the Drift, Yancy had seen things he didn’t think he deserved.   _Love.  Acceptance.  Raleigh’s genuine desire to just_ _ **understand**_ _._

Back LOCCENT, Tendo whistled softly as he looked over the readings.  Marshal Pentecost, who had entered the room sometime earlier, walked behind the Shatterdome technician and look a look over his shoulder.

“How’s Team Gipsy looking, then?” he asked.

“Their link is strong, sir,” said Tendo.  “Strongest I’ve ever seen, in fact.  Romeo Blue’s got nothing on them.”

Pentecost half-smiled.  “You don’t say.”

He pressed a button on Tendo’s dashboard and spoke into a mic.  “Gentlemen!  This is Marshal Pentecost speaking.  Your orders are simple.  Eliminate the Kaiju threat as quickly and efficiently as possible, then return to base.”

All three teams responded in chorus.  “Sir, yes, sir!”

“Very good,” said Pentecost.  “Now get going.”

The targeted Kaiju roared upon noticing the three approaching Jaegers.  It turned in their direction and kicked back its hind legs.

“ _Looks like it’s going to charge us,”_ Yancy spoke to his brother over their shared link.  “ _I say we take this thing head on.”_

“ _Couldn’t agree more,”_ Raleigh thought back.  “ _Let’s rock and roll.”_

Sure enough, the Kaiju was thundering towards them, and both brothers lifted their arms at the same time.  The Kaiju crashed into them, but the brothers were ready.  They slid back only slightly, their Jaeger’s heels digging deep in the ocean floor.  They pushed back against the Kaiju’s hands with their own.

“ _No good, we need some time.  We’re going to have to knock it down,”_ Yancy said in their thoughts.

Raleigh smirked in their minds.  “ _What’s the matter, Yance?  Don’t like the fish we caught?”_

Yancy frowned.  “ _Come on, Rals!  Be serious!  Our weapons need time to charge.”_

“ _Yeah, yeah, all right,”_ Raleigh replied.

They gave the Kaiju a solid punch, causing it to fall backwards and into the water.  Yancy shouted at his brother.

“Now, kid!  Now!  Fire it up!”

“You got it!” Raleigh said, charging up Gipsy Danger’s left arm and releasing the beam from its Plasmacaster just as the Kaiju resurfaced from the stormy waters.

Raleigh’s aim was accurate and the Kaiju shrieked as it once again fell under the crashing waves.  Yancy got his side ready and blasted the beast again when it tried to rise.  

The brothers made quick work of their first kill, and the other two Jaeger teams only interfered at the very end, to make sure that the brothers had done a thorough job.  Once the Kaiju’s death was confirmed, all three teams made their way back to the base.

“ _Congratulations, boys!”_ Trevin said over the communications system.  

“ _Yeah, you guys did great out there,”_ said Kyle.  “ _Knew y’all would.”_

“ _Now you can sew that first notch to your belts,”_ said Bruce.  “ _Bit of a tradition here.”_

“ _Nice work, Rangers,”_ Pentecost’s voice clipped through as the Jaegers were being hosed down.  “ _Team Gipsy...that was a fine job you did there.  Keep it up.”_

“Thank you, sir,” said Yancy.

“ _Once your Jaeger is disinfected, you’re free to go back to your rooms, gentlemen,”_ said the marshal.  “ _No mandatory training exercises for you all tonight.”_

“Much appreciated, sir,” said Raleigh.  

The communication clicked off and attendants soon filed in to Gipsy Danger’s Conn-Pod to help the brothers disconnect.  They briefly congregated with their fellow pilots soon after shedding their Drivesuits, exchanging a few words before they all parted ways for the day.

“So how’d it feel?  Your first real kill?” asked Bruce.

“Pretty darn good, I’d have to say,” said Yancy.

Trevin nodded.  “You guys were all game and no fuss out there.  That kind of focus will always serve you well here.”

“Looking forward to our next fight,” said Raleigh.

“Likewise!” Bruce said with enthusiasm.  “We’ll see you both tomorrow, yeah?”

“Count on it,” Raleigh said as the Gage brothers walked away.

“Don’t let all the excitement get to your head now,” Kyle warned, clapping a hand on one of Raleigh’s shoulders.  “Looking forward to working with y’all again though.”

Raleigh smiled.  Kyle smiled back before looking at Yancy and giving him a curt nod.  Yancy held up a hand as Ethan placed a hand on Kyle’s back and gently pushed him another direction.  

“Come on, Yancy,” Raleigh said, placing a hand on his brother’s wrist.  “Let’s go.”

His brother glanced one last time at Kyle’s retreating backside before nodding.  “Yeah, all right.”

The brothers quickly returned to their room and each took their turn in the shower before changing out of their sweaty clothes.  Yancy was drying his hair with a towel when Raleigh spoke.

“That was pretty cool today, wasn’t it, Yance?” Raleigh asked.  “Our first real fight with a Kaiju.”

Yancy chuckled while scrubbing the towel against his head.  “Yeah, kid.  Our first real kill too.”

“Bruce said we should start sewing notches marking our kill counts,” Raleigh said with a laugh.  “But I don’t even know the first thing about sewing.”

Yancy smiled.  “Don’t worry about that, kid.  Just leave it to me.”

Raleigh raised an eyebrow.  “You know how to sew?”

“Mmhmm…”

“Since when!”

“Since Mom taught me,” said Yancy.  “Back when you were little and kept getting holes in all your clothes from something...you’d trip and fall or get it snagged on a hook.”

“How come she made you do it?” Raleigh asked curiously.

“She didn’t,” Yancy said, shaking his head.  “I wanted to.  I mean, you were such a cute little kid, and I…”

He frowned as he trailed off.  The smile slipped from Raleigh’s face and a silence fell between them.  Yancy threw the used towel into one of the hampers and then walked past Raleigh to get to his bed.

“I saw the things you wanted to do to me in there,” Raleigh said softly, stopping Yancy just before he climbed onto his bed.

“Oh, kid…” Yancy groaned, pressing his forehead against his mattress.  “Why do you look?”

Raleigh gave a slight shrug.  “Because I want to know.”

“No, Rals,” Yancy said, shaking his head.  “You don’t have any idea about half the things that I want to do to you.”

“What _do_ you want to do to me, Yance?” Raleigh asked.

He frowned when his brother turned around and ignored him.  Raleigh grabbed his brother by the arm.

“ _Yancy_.”

Raleigh gasped out of surprise when his brother spun around, gripped a fistful of his hair, and slammed him against their wall.  Yancy’s voice was tight when he spoke, his expression unamused.

“You know better than to tempt me, Rals,” said Yancy.  “We both know this isn’t what you want.  You don’t need me in the way that I need you.”

He brought his lips close to his brother’s ear.  “You really want to know though?  Fine.  I’ll tell you, but you’re not going to like it.”

Raleigh shuddered when one of Yancy’s hands made its way underneath the waistband of his pants.  He sucked in a short breath when his brother began to stroke.

“I’d like to tie you up, bend you over, and fuck you so hard,” Yancy growled.  “Until you can no longer stand.”

His brother whimpered when Yancy let go.  The older Becket closed his eyes, rested his forehead against Raleigh’s, and loosened the grip in his brother’s hair.

“I love you too much, Rals,” Yancy sighed.  “I’m tired of forcing you to give me what I want.  I’m tired of hurting you.”

“What if...what if I said that I wanted it too, now?” Raleigh asked breathlessly.

Yancy opened his eyes, pulled away from his brother, and frowned.  “No, Rals.  We both know that’s the Drift talking.  Your thoughts mixing with mine...it’s been confusing you, Rals, and that’s my fault.  I’m sorry.”

“But…”

“The answer’s _no_ , Raleigh,” Yancy said firmly.  “I shouldn’t have even touched you just now.”

“I don’t understand…” Raleigh said, shaking his head.  “These feelings are always more intense after we Drift.  I just need...I want…”

“I _know_ ,” said Yancy.  “But it always passes after a few minutes, doesn’t it, kid?”

For a moment Raleigh thought back to all the times he woke up the next morning with a bit of regret twisting in his stomach for allowing his older brother to take him to bed.  Then he thought about all the other times where he had woken up feeling guilty, but oddly satisfied from what it was they did.  Lately he was wondering which sentiment was truly and solely his.

His brother seemed to sense his eternal conflict and placed his hands on both of Raleigh’s shoulders.  “Listen, Rals.”

Raleigh looked into his brother’s eyes.  Yancy half-smiled.

“From now on, when we Drift...try not to focus on all that anymore, all right?” said Yancy.  “It’ll be better for you in the long run and...I’ll be better about keeping those things away from your mind too.”

“I’ll try, Yance,” said Raleigh.  “But—”

“No buts, kid,” Yancy said, shaking his head.  “Come on.  I’m beat.  Let’s get some sleep.”

Yancy turned away from his little brother and climbed onto his bed.  He pulled the covers over his head and waited to hear his brother shuffle under his own sheets before allowing himself to relax and go to sleep.

The next time they entered the Drift was in response to a Category Two Kaiju threat, and both brothers did their part, minimizing the neural aftereffects that followed post-skirmish.  They had somewhat improved their method by their third battle, and the brothers had even come up with a signature fighting pose that they decided they’d execute upon completion of the neural handshake process.  By the time they were given their fourth assignment, the Beckets were well-noted for their strong, unwavering neural link and flawless battle record, giving them something similar to celebrity status among their fellow Jaeger pilots.

Unfortunately, they were not gods.  This was the harsh reality they were reminded of when Yamarashi, at that time one of the largest Kaiju ever recorded to emerge from the breach, took them by surprise.

“Hey!  Yancy!”

Yancy almost couldn’t believe who he was hearing.  He turned around to see Kyle, who was grinning at him.  Yancy smiled with a bit of uncertainty—ever since his friend had found out about the full nature of his relationship with his brother, Kyle had been hot-and-cold around him ever since.  

“What’s up, Kyle?” he asked.

The other man waved an envelope at him.  “It’s from Jack!”

Yancy raised an eyebrow.  “You wrote him?”

“Yeah,” Kyle said with a nod.  “And he wrote me back!  Can you believe it?”

Yancy’s smile grew a little more.  “I don’t know, man.  Jerry’s always been pretty unpredictable.  You read it yet?”

“Hm?  Nah…” Kyle looked down at the letter and rubbed the back of his neck.  “I kind of want to wait until I can sit down and read it, you know?  I sorta wrote a lot in my letter to him…”

Yancy didn’t have to ask what that could have meant.  He nodded.

“Well, it’s whatever you want to—”

Before he could finish his sentence, the Kaiju alarm went off overhead.  Both men looked up while listening to the announcement being made by a Shatterdome technician.

“ _Kaiju breach.  Category Three.  Team Gipsy and Team Tango, please report…”_

While the message continued, Kyle and Yancy looked back down at each other.  When their eyes met, they exchanged a nod.

“Better get moving,” said Kyle.

Yancy nodded.  The two men began rushing towards the hangar.

“Listen, man…” Yancy said as they were running.  “I know things have been awkward between us lately, but…”

“Yeah...I’m sorry.  That’s mostly my fault,” Kyle said, staring straight ahead.  “I didn’t mean for things to get so weird between us, but I was just trying to wrap my head around it all...and by the time I figured I didn’t really have much of a right to judge…”

“Look, it’s fine,” said Yancy as they turned into the open doorway of the hangar.  “I understand, but...I’ve just been meaning to ask…”

The two men slowed to a brisk walk.  Yancy looked over at Kyle as they made their way to some lockers that served as temporary storage for small personal effects while pilots went on missions.  

“Could we just let bygones be, and start over?” Yancy asked.  

The corners of Kyle’s lips quirked slightly upward.  “Yeah.  Sure.  I suppose it’s about time I stopped being such an ass.”

Yancy laughed a little.  “Glad to hear it, man...so are we cool?”

“Yeah,” Kyle said, nodding.  “We’re cool.”

Just before they went to get suited up, Kyle opened up one of the lockers and placed the letter from Jeremy inside, along with a few of his other personal effects.  Yancy did the same, opening the one up next to his friend and depositing his phone and some of the loose items in his pockets.  

“Biggest one yet, they’re saying,” Yancy said as both men simultaneously shut their lockers.  “You ready?”

Kyle gave a slight one-shoulder shrug.  “As I’ll ever be.”

“Wonder why they didn’t call Romeo Blue,” Yancy said as the two began walking in the direction of their Jaegers.

“No clue,” said Kyle.  “Maybe they’ll tell us though.”

They were later informed by LOCCENT that Romeo Blue had been considered too slow and the risk of deploying it alongside Tango Tasmania and Gipsy Danger to be too great to assist in responding to the enormous Category Three threat.  Teams Tasmania and Gipsy were instructed to take down the Kaiju with as little destruction as they can manage.  The Jaegers were dropped at the mouth of the Los Angeles River.

“ _Tango to Gipsy, do you copy?”_ Kyle asked over the communications system.

“Loud and clear, Kyle,” said Yancy.  “What’s our play?”

“ _Gotta find a weak spot, man,”_ said Kyle.  “ _You guys take it on from the back.  Ethan and I will attack it from the front.”_

“All right.  Roger that,” said Yancy.  “Be careful.”

“ _Right back at’cha.”_

Both Jaegers took their positions, using all that each of them had in their arsenals.  After firing several shots, Raleigh looked over at his brother with a grim expression and shook his head.

“Shit, Yancy!  This isn’t going to work!”

“Well we’re going to have to figure out _something_ , kid,” Yancy said through gritted teeth.  “Or we’re going to get chopped into fucking Kaiju salad.”

Just then, the Kaiju let out a tremendous roar and Ethan’s voice crackled frantically over the public line.  “ _Oh fuck!  Holy shi—”_

“Hey!  What’s wrong?” Yancy asked.  “What is it?  What’s going on?”

He frowned when there was no response.  “Guys?  Ethan?  Kyle!”

A deep, unsettling feeling rose from his gut when he heard the Kaiju’s ear-splitting cry and the loud noise of creaking metal.  Through their link, Raleigh attempted to ease his brother's panic.

“ _Yancy!  We’re not going to be able to get a good look—the Kaiju’s body is too damn big,”_ said Raleigh.  “ _I’m sure they’re fine, Yance.  They’ve just got their hands full right now.  Come on!  We’ve got to do something about this!”_

Yancy shook his head in order to try and clear his thoughts.  “ _You're...you’re right, Rals.”_

“ _What do you want to do, Yance?”_

“ _We’ve got  push it back into the ocean,”_ said Yancy.  “ _At the very least, it will minimize any further destruction and civilian casualties.”_

“ _Okay,”_ said Raleigh.

He didn’t point out that Yancy specifically mentioned the word ‘civilian.’  Even without hearing his brother’s thoughts over the Drift, Raleigh knew what was on Yancy’s mind.  He followed his brother’s example though and tucked the thought far back in his mind.  They needed to concentrate on the task at hand.  Raleigh quickly surveyed their surroundings and then looked over at Yancy.

“The freeway,” Raleigh said aloud.

His brother nodded.  “Got it.  Let’s go.”

They quickly formulated a plan and went over it in their minds, settling on two possible options.  They could act as a lure or figure out a different way to push the Kaiju back.

“We’re not going to be able to outrun it,” said Raleigh.

“I know,” said Yancy.  “We’ll have to dodge it and push it back.  You got enough strength left for this?”

“Doesn’t matter,” said Raleigh.  “We’ve got to do what we’ve got to do.”

Yancy nodded.  “Then let’s give it all we’ve got.”

They fired up one of Gipsy Danger’s Plasmacasters and struck the giant Kaiju from behind.  This proved effective as the monster turned away from whatever it had been distracted with and rounded on the Becket’s Jaeger.  It roared and charged after it.  The brothers managed to dodge the beast just in time as it rushed past them.  The Kaiju screamed in frustration; it had run so fast it took a few minutes longer than it probably intended to skid to a stop.  When it finally managed to do so, it had already done half the job the Beckets had set out to do.  Meanwhile, the brothers had been charging and recharging both Plasmacasters, preparing to deal another blow.

Tears stung Yancy’s eyes as both brothers simultaneously let out a morale-boosting shout.  They thundered after the Kaiju and lifted Gipsy Danger’s hands, shooting at the Kaiju at just the right distance.  The Kaiju howled as it was being forced back.

“Shit!” Raleigh exclaimed.  “What are we going to do, Yance?  I don’t think this is going to kill it!”

Yancy knew his brother was right.  The battle was taking its toll on both men, and their Jaeger was starting to run low on power.  At the last second, he noticed a loose cargo crane wire hanging from some rubble.

“Raleigh!” Yancy shouted.

“Yeah, that’ll work,” said Raleigh.

The stubborn Kaiju bellowed and began to advance once more, but the Beckets were faster.  They fired another beam, sending Yamarashi tumbling backward.  Then the brothers rushed Gipsy Danger over to the crane wire and ran as fast as they could towards the stunned Kaiju.

“We’ve probably got only one shot at this, Rals!”

“I know,” Raleigh said tightly.  “So we better not fucking screw this up!”

“ _Raleigh…”_ Yancy said in their mind.  “ _If something happens—”_

“ _ **No**_ _, Yancy,”_ said Raleigh.  “ _Nothing will.  Come on.  We’ve got this.”_

Yancy’s lips pressed into a firm line.  “ _Right.”_

The brothers wasted no time in bringing the cord down as hard as they could on the Kaiju’s outstretched neck.  The beast let out one last wail as the wire severed its head from its body.  Exhausted and just about out of adrenaline, the brothers were unable to keep their Jaeger upright and caused Gispy Danger to collapse into a kneeling position once the defeated Kaiju’s head rolled off of its body.

The marshal’s voice came through somewhat distorted over their communications system.  “ _Gentlemen!  Tendo tells me the Kaiju is no longer emitting any vital signs.  What’s your status?”_

“The Kaiju’s been dealt with, sir,” Raleigh confirmed.

He looked over in concern at his brother, who was breathing rather harshly.  Raleigh bit his lip.  

“Sir,” he said.  “My brother and I are not injured, but…”

There was a slight pause from the other end.  “ _Tango Tasmania…”_

Raleigh swallowed.  “Yes, sir...we’re…”

He trailed off as he looked at his brother trembling and trying to regain his composure.  Raleigh closed his eyes as he tried to focus on saying his next words evenly—the words his brother wanted to say, but at the moment needed help saying—without letting the emotions he was feeling from Yancy overtake him.

“We’re going to need assistance…”

The marshal’s voice sounded somber in his reply.  “ _...one team is already on its way.”_

“Thank you, sir,” Raleigh said in a low voice before muting the connection.  

He nudged his brother gently through their mental link.  “ _Yancy…”_

The only thought that came back to him was his brother’s current internal mantra.  “ _Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle…”_

Raleigh shook his head.  “ _ **Yancy.**_ _I’m worried about him…and Ethan too, but it’s not going to do either of them or us any good if we just sit here, frozen.  I can’t pilot Gipsy by myself either, Yancy.  You’ve got to help me get her up._ _ **Please.**_ ”

It broke his heart to see his brother so torn.  Raleigh felt unwanted tears trickle hotly down his own cheeks.  

“ _ **Please**_ _, Yancy._ _ **Please**_ ,” Raleigh begged.  “ _ **Stay with me.**_ ”

His brother shut his eyes tightly and Raleigh did his best to help Yancy push away all the hindering thoughts.  In a few seconds, Raleigh was able to get his brother into a calm enough state and began to pour in thoughts of assisting Kyle and Ethan from their Jaeger.  Yancy’s eyes snapped open.  He turned his head and nodded wordlessly at Raleigh.  His brother nodded back, and then the two of them were able to push themselves up off the ground by controlling their Jaeger’s hands.  At first, they only trudged along back to their last known sighting of Tango Tasmania, but Raleigh was soon able to coax his brother to command their Jaeger to break out into a run.  

Yancy’s worst fears were confirmed when they reached the twisted metallic debris that was once a Mark One Jaeger.  The brothers unsteadily parked Gipsy Danger over the open chest of Tango Tasmania before hitting an override button in their cockpit, allowing them to be released from their neural connection with their Jaeger.  Both brothers took off and chucked their helmets and rushed towards the Conn-Pod’s exit.  

Raleigh moved quickly, but Yancy was faster.  The older man weaved his way to where their fellow Jaeger pilots were supposed to be.  Raleigh lost sight of his brother for a split second.  He had been about to climb over a row of disfigured metal when suddenly he heard his brother wrench out a guttural scream.  

“ _Aw...no, no, no, no,_ _ **no!  Kyle!**_   _ **Fuck!**_ ”

Raleigh suddenly crumpled to the ground in a prostrate position and tucked his head inward, clamping his hands over his ears.  He couldn’t tell if the screams belonged to him or his brother; if they were out loud or all in his mind.  

He was only half-sure that he was Ghost-Drifting with his brother now, and the sights he saw weren’t pleasant.   _Kyle’s mouth agape and eyes staring up at the sky, completely empty._ Raleigh’s body shook with sobs.   _A twisted metal piece, speared through Kyle Hunter’s torso._ Thoughts that he wasn't sure whether or not they belonged to him swirled in his mind.   _Did he die on impact or was he tortured?  Was he in a lot of pain?  Oh fuck...could I have helped him somehow?  Was there anything I could have done differently?_ And the overwhelming emotions that were attached to the memories.   _Kyle mediating all Yancy’s fights with Jeremy.  Kyle on the ground because Yancy just gave him an unnecessary punch to the gut, even if Yancy had thought it was well-deserved at the time.  Kyle’s laughter._

Raleigh rolled over slowly onto his side and gasped for breath, tears streaming uncontrollably down his face.  His brother was lamenting loudly in his thoughts.   _Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle...this isn’t real, right?  It can’t be real...how can it be real?  We_ _ **just**_ _made things right between us again._ Raleigh shuddered as Yancy’s thoughts were interrupted by a sudden unpleasant memory.   _The last thing both brothers heard over the communications system—Ethan’s screams._

Raleigh squeezed his eyes tightly and curled his fists into tight balls.  It took all he had to focus on things that could make him calm.  He wasn’t sure if he’d also succeed in comforting his brother this way, but Raleigh knew that he needed to pull himself together if he was going to be of any use to anyone.  

In a few minutes, the blonde’s breathing became even and his brother’s voice eventually quieted down to nothing more than a whisper.  Raleigh opened his eyes and took a deep breath before shakily pushing himself up onto his feet.  It was a slow process, but somehow Raleigh managed to climb through all the carnage and eventually made it to his brother’s side.  Yancy was seated next to his deceased friend’s corpse with one knee propped up and his other leg tucked underneath him.  The older man’s head was pressed against his fist, which was resting atop his propped up leg.  Exhausted, Raleigh settled down next to his brother and hugged around Yancy’s shoulders.  They sat like that for a while—Yancy’s body shaking with sobs and Raleigh rubbing one hand soothingly up and down his brother’s arm.  Raleigh moved only when he heard the sound of soft groaning that he knew for sure wasn’t coming from himself or his brother.

He reluctantly left his brother behind, who didn’t seem to notice anything going on around him, and searched for the source of the sound.  Raleigh stopped in front of a small pile of rubble and grunted as he lifted some of it away.  He gasped when he saw Ethan’s bloodied body underneath.

“Oh, _shit!_ ” he hissed as he bent down beside the battered pilot.  “Ethan…!  Hang on, man!  Help is coming…!”

Raleigh wasn’t sure if Ethan could hear or understand him, but just then he heard the sound of choppers floating overhead.  Raleigh looked up and was relieved to see two helicopters that were lowering down towards them.  The rescue team wasted no time in climbing aboard the mangled Jaeger and executing their mission.  Ethan was quickly strapped to a stretcher and taken aboard one of the helicopters.  Kyle’s corpse was carefully extricated from the metal that he had been impaled on, and was covered and transported along with his badly hurt co-pilot.  Raleigh and Yancy were led onto the second chopper.  Yancy’s head rested on Raleigh’s shoulder and the younger man ran his hands gently through his older brother’s hair for the entire duration of their ride.  

When they landed at their base, Raleigh gave his brother’s shoulder a tight squeeze and pressed a kiss on top of his brother’s head before helping him get unbuckled and off the aircraft.  All those they came across seemed able to read the mood, and whether or not they knew what had happened on the mission, everyone had the courtesy to step out of the brothers’ way.  When Raleigh and Yancy passed by the Gage twins, Bruce looked as if he wanted to say something, but his brother put a hand on his shoulder and held the man back.  Raleigh shot them an apologetic look and moved on.

He dragged his brother back to their room, and after he kicked their door closed and locked it shut, Raleigh helped his brother over to his bed, since it was lower than Yancy’s, and had his brother sit on it.  Yancy didn’t help or kick up a fuss when Raleigh began to change him out of his clothes; he just stared blankly ahead at the wall.  When he had finished doing what he could, Raleigh gently pushed his brother down and tucked the covers around him.  He then weaved his fingers through his brother’s hair systematically; the motion helped Yancy to become tired, and eventually the older man’s eyes fluttered closed and he fell asleep.  Raleigh continued for several minutes after that, before pressing a loving kiss to his brother’s temple and then getting up and changing for bed.  Once in fresh clothes, he took one last look at Yancy before climbing on top of his brother’s bed and going to sleep.

The next morning, a light buzzing woke Yancy up from his slumber.  He groaned softly and slowly got up into a sitting position.  As he tried to reorient himself, everything came flooding back to him.   _The battle with Yamarashi.  Raleigh helping him onto a helicopter.  Raleigh tucking him into bed.  Kyle’s body, impaled.  Kyle’s eyes staring blankly up at the sky.  His mouth open, but never to let another sound out again.  Kyle was gone.  Kyle was dead.  Forever._

Yancy heard the creaking of a mattress and light moaning.  He looked over to his left and saw Raleigh, who was still asleep, frowning.  Yancy let out an inaudible sigh.  Raleigh was probably faintly picking up his distress over their ghostlink, Yancy realized, so he did his best to suppress his darker thoughts.

There was still the source of the buzzing to deal with, and Yancy thought he knew what it was.  He slowly moved out of bed and padded over to where he and his brother hung their jackets.  He slipped his hand into his jacket pocket, and sure enough, it was his phone that was buzzing with a call from Pentecost.  Yancy took one look over his shoulder at Raleigh before opening their door and stepping outside.  

He answered the call after he had closed the door behind him.  “...hello?”

“ _Mr. Becket,”_ said Marshal Pentecost.  “ _I realize you are not of mind for pleasantries, so I will just cut to the chase.”_

“Yes, sir,” Yancy agreed.

“ _I would like to inform you that the lone survivor of Tango Tasmania is in critical condition.”_

Yancy swallowed and closed his eyes.   _Lone survivor.  Ethan.  Not Kyle._ He knew it was terrible, but part of him wished it was in reverse.

“ _The doctors have informed us that there is nothing more they can do for him aside from ease his passage to the next life as much as possible…”_

A wave of guilt passed over Yancy when he heard that.  For a brief moment he wondered if his earlier fleeting thought just jinxed the situation for Kyle’s co-pilot.

“ _I am well aware that your close relationship was with the deceased and not his co-pilot; however…”_

“ _...he’s asking for you, Mr. Becket.”_

Yancy’s eyes opened in surprise.  

“ _Me?”_ he wondered.  “ _Why would he possibly want to see me?”_

“ _I cannot say that I know the reasons for his request,”_ Pentecost said, as if sensing Yancy’s unasked question.  “ _However, I do need to inform the doctor whether or not you plan on honoring it.”_

Yancy didn’t respond at first.  The marshal waited patiently for a few minutes.

Finally, he broke the silence.  “ _Well, Mr. Becket?”_

Yancy threaded his fingers through his hair.  Regardless of what Ethan’s reasons were, it didn’t change the fact that apparently the Ranger did not have much time.  

“I’ll do it,” he said.  “I’ll be there.”

“ _Very good, Mr. Becket,”_ said Marshal Pentecost.  “ _I will inform the doctor.  Please make your way to the infirmary as soon as you are able.”_

After hanging up, Yancy didn’t know why he ran.  His body instinctively reacted with urgency, but his mind was blank.  

When he reached the hospital wing, he was informed by doctors that the main reason for Ethan’s declining condition was not so much from the battle with Yamarashi was it was having had his connection with his co-pilot abruptly severed.  Yancy barely registered himself asking how much time the young man had left.  “Not long” had been the doctor’s vague answer.  Yancy knew from looking into the medic’s eyes though that he didn’t think Ethan was going to make it through the night.  

Yancy mumbled his thanks for the information and then stepped inside the room where Ethan was being kept.  The man Yancy saw lying on the bed looked nothing like the tall and sturdy man he had seen just hours earlier before their fight.  They had put an IV in him and he was hooked up to several machines.  Ethan’s brows were furrowed together, and even though they had given him an oxygen mask, the young man looked like he was struggling to breathe.  Yancy approached Ethan’s bedside, and that’s when the young man opened his eyes.

Ethan weakly reached up to his oxygen mask and pulled it partially away.  Yancy quickly leaned forward and hovered his ear close to the other man’s mouth so that he could catch what the dying pilot was saying.

“Let...ter…” Ethan gasped.  “Ky...wou...w...ant…”

Yancy’s eyes widened.  He took a step back, helped place the oxygen mask back on Ethan’s face and then nodded.

“You’re talking about Jeremy’s letter, aren’t you?” he asked.

Ethan nodded weakly.  He pulled his mask away again and Yancy once again scrambled forward.

“Ghos...rift...don’t...kno…” said Ethan.  “He...migh...migh...hea...r…”

All Rangers had heard of all the strange side-effects that came with the prolonged use of the Drift.  Among them was a concept called Ghost-Drifting.  Pilots who had been partners for a long time have put on the record that they can communicate with their co-pilots even off the neural connection.  Factors influencing how strong the connection and how far apart pilots could be to use it supposedly depended on compatibility level and the amount of time the pilots had been Drifting together.  Another, rumored, side-effect was still being able to communicate with a deceased pilot for a limited time.  

Even though Kyle was dead, Ethan apparently felt like he could still communicate with him somehow, Yancy realized.  Of course he couldn’t say for certain, since he hadn’t been part of Kyle and Ethan’s neural connection, but if he had to guess, Yancy would say that it was highly likely that Kyle must have projected some regret for not having taken his advice and reading Jeremy’s letter before going off into battle.  

Yancy gently patted the railing beside Ethan’s shivering frame.  “Hey...you hang in there, man...okay?  I’ll go get the letter...but it’s going to take a second.”

Ethan nodded his consent slowly, and Yancy didn’t waste another beat.  He ran out of the infirmary and down the hall.  As he was running, he felt his brother nudge him over their mental link.

“ _Yancy…?  What’s going on?”_

Yancy slowed for a second.  “ _Raleigh?  Rals!  Thank God…”_

“ _What?  What is it, Yance?”_

“ _Where are you right now?”_

“ _In the hangar.  When you weren’t in bed anymore, I...well, I thought you’d be here.  I was looking for you.”_

“ _Sorry for making you worry,”_ Yancy thought back.  “ _Do me a favor though, yeah?”_

“ _Sure, Yance.  Anything.  What is it?”_

“ _Get Jeremy’s letter out of Kyle’s locker and rush it to me,”_ Yancy thought urgently.  “ _I’ll meet you halfway.  I’ve got to take it back to Ethan.”_

His brother seemed to sense that it wasn’t the best time to be asking questions, so he didn’t.  “ _Got it, Yance.  I’ll see you in a second.”_

“ _Thanks, Rals.”_

Yancy was surprised when he rounded a corner and almost ran into his brother.  Raleigh caught him by the shoulders and regarded him with concerned eyes.

“Here’s the letter, Yance,” Raleigh said, holding the envelope out to his brother.  “There anything else I can do for you?”

Yancy cupped his brother’s face and ran a thumb over Raleigh’s cheek, completely forgetting at that moment that they were in the public eye.  He half-smiled.

“No, kid,” he said softly.  “There’s nothing.  Just wait for me back at the room, okay?”

Raleigh placed a hand over his brother’s and nodded.  “Okay.  I’ll be there.”

“Thank you.”

When Yancy returned to the room, he was surprised to find a nurse injecting something into Ethan’s IV.  Yancy frowned at the woman.  
“What’s going on here?” he asked.

The nurse gave him a sympathetic look.  “It’s to make his last moments easier.”

“How much time does he have, then?” Yancy asked.

“An hour?  Perhaps less than that,” said the nurse.  “Regardless, it is good to see that he has a friend who will be here with him, in his final moments.”

Yancy didn’t even bother to correct the woman as she left the room.  He once again approached Ethan’s bedside.  Ethan slowly forced his eyes open and Yancy lifted the hand that was holding the letter up for the young man to see.

“This is it, man,” said Yancy.  “What you asked for.  I’ve got it right here.”

Ethan slowly reached up to his oxygen mask and only pulled at it slightly, not tearing it completely away.  Yancy put an ear close so he could hear what the other man was saying.

“Re...re...ad it...re...” Ethan rasped.

“You got it, man,” Yancy said, nodding.  “Let’s just try to keep your excitement level down and your oxygen mask on, yeah?”

Ethan’s eyes fluttered and he nodded tiredly.  Yancy sighed and helped place the mask back on again.  He then ripped open the envelope in his hands and pulled out the letter.  Yancy gulped and felt his eyes grow moist as he started to read the words on the page scrawled out in Jeremy’s familiar, rough handwriting.

“ _Hey Kyle,”_ Yancy read.  “ _Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond to your letter.  Been busy...and well...you gave me a lot to think about.”_

Ethan was struggling to keep his eyes open and his breathing was beginning to slow.  Yancy wiped at his eyes and picked up his pace.

“ _You know...I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you, Yancy and Raleigh until you all had gone,”_ Yancy continued.  “ _Lately, there are days where I sorta regret not having gone with you all to the academy.”_

Ethan gripped at his sheets weakly, trying to maintain hold of his consciousness.  Yancy forced himself to stay on task.

“ _Honestly, sometimes I catch myself remembering about all the crazy shit we all did as kids and I think ‘man, we had it good.’  And I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t been hoping we’d be able to do all that again,”_ Yancy continued to read, his voice shaking.  “ _Listen though...about that other thing you wrote in the letter…”_

Ethan craned his neck and part of Yancy wondered if maybe Kyle really was connected to him, at least in part.  He couldn’t imagine Ethan really giving a damn personally.  A few stray drops fell from Yancy’s eyes and splotched the paper he was holding.

“ _To tell you the truth, it took me by surprise, man…”_

Ethan was breathing more harshly now, and Yancy read more frantically, aware that he was running out of time.  “ _But you know what?  How about this?  Next chance you have—like when you catch a break or something—why don’t you come on by?”_

The paper crinkled in Yancy’s hands as he gripped it tighter.  “ _I think this is something we should talk about in person...don’t you?  Anyway, in the meantime, careful out there…not that you really need me to wish you luck or anything.  I don’t have to see to know you’re kicking ass at what you do.  It runs in your blood, after all...just like construction runs in mine.”_

Yancy choked as he read his friend’s closing words.  “ _I promise I’ll write more.  You stay safe, Kyle.  I’m sure we’ll see each other real soon…”_

Yancy looked over at Ethan and spoke softly.  “It’s signed Jeremy ‘Jack’ Daniels.”

Ethan gave Yancy a small nod.  “Th...th...ank...y...ou…”

It was an irrational thought—Kyle was dead—but Yancy couldn’t help but wonder in that moment if the one who had thanked him was really his best friend Kyle instead, channeling through Ethan’s body somehow.  A small sliver of himself hoped so.

Then, the dying man’s eyes started to droop closed and his breathing became more erratic.  The drugs appeared to start taking their toll, and Yancy wondered if Ethan finally decided to give up and give in, now that he’d received what he asked for.  Soon Ethan was rhythmically gasping for air.

Several minutes later, Ethan arched his back and took in one last deep breath of air before his body lowered itself back down onto the bed.  His eyes shut tightly once and then slowly opened back up again, a steady stream of tears flowing down both side’s of the man’s face.  It was probably one of the most surreal things Yancy had ever seen in his life.  Yancy knew, even before he ran to get a doctor to confirm, that Ethan—and possibly whatever had been left of Kyle inside of him, if at all—had completely gone.

Yancy had looked on in morbid fascination at first.  Ethan’s corpse lay perfectly still; eyes still wide open and mouth agape.  While the doctor and nurses were writing clipboards and discussion facts like the hour of Ethan’s death, Yancy found himself automatically towards the man and reached out his hand.  Tears flowed freely down his own face as he raked a couple of his fingers gently over Ethan’s eyelids, closing the man’s eyes for him forever.

That night, when Yancy got drunk and stumbled into his room, Raleigh was awake and waiting for him there, ready to welcome him back with open arms.  The younger man didn’t complain when Yancy took him to bed, nor did he fight back.

No words were exchanged, and they weren’t needed.  Yancy was surprisingly gentle with him that night, and Raleigh willingly reciprocated when Yancy slipped his tongue into the younger man’s mouth.  

Raleigh reached up and pulled the shirt off his brother’s back before helping Yancy do the same for him.  The rest of their clothes soon followed, and were cast off onto the floor.  While Yancy sucked lightly on his neck, Raleigh reached down for the covers.  He pulled them up and over his brother’s body and let go of them when it reached just below Yancy’s broad shoulders.

Raleigh ran his fingers soothingly up and down his brother’s back, and he moaned into Yancy’s chest when his brother’s hands gripped firmly around his length, stroking him gently.  Raleigh shivered involuntarily with pleasure and for a moment he felt like he was seeing stars—Yancy was stimulating him in a way that he never had before, and Raleigh was becoming rather aroused.

He dug his fingers gently into his brother’s back and tilted his head as he hissed in pleasure when Yancy inserted one of his fingers.  Had this been under the usual circumstances, Raleigh might have felt more guilt than his current state of uninhibited desire.

After giving Raleigh ample preparation, Yancy thrust into him, and Raleigh pressed their bodies together, clutching at his brother with all he had.  Their lips came together and Raleigh moaned loudly into his brother’s mouth, reaching one of his hands up and tangling his fingers in his brother’s golden locks.  Yancy’s kisses progressively became more passionate and his movements more urgent as he climbed rapidly toward his climax, pounding hard into Raleigh’s flesh.

When Yancy had finished unloading his seed, he collapsed on top of Raleigh, who ran his fingers lovingly through his older brother’s hair as Yancy rested his head on his younger brother’s chest.  Raleigh’s eyes were tear-filled and he pressed gentle kisses on top of Yancy’s head, whispering to him all the while.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do anything more for you, Yance…”Raleigh murmured.  “I wish I could do more...I’m sorry, Yance...I’m so, so sorry…”

They eventually fell asleep like that, and when they woke up the next morning, Yancy carefully extricated himself from Raleigh’s grasp and the mess of sheets.  Yancy placed a kiss on Raleigh’s forehead and then made his way to their bathroom.  Raleigh opened his eyes, propped himself up with an elbow, and stared at his brother’s backside as the other man walked off.  Yancy didn’t look back once.  Raleigh wanted to reach out, tell Yancy it was okay and to come back to bed, but the younger man couldn’t seem to find his voice.  His brother shut the bathroom door behind him with a click and Raleigh didn’t know how long he sat there, the words he wanted to say caught somewhere in his throat.

Several hours later, Raleigh and Yancy were riding in a funeral car along with Kyle Hunter’s parents, with the casket containing the young man’s remains in the back.  The ride home was completely silent.  Kyle’s parents kept a rigid posture and they were completely stoic.    Ethan Bentley would not be buried beside his co-pilot, and would be laid to rest elsewhere.  He was originally from the Alaskan city of Juneau, and that was where his body was going to be buried, upon the request of his family.

When they arrived at the burial site, they were greeted by some familiar faces from their hometown; among them were Kyle’s grandparents.  Before anyone realized what was going to happen, Kyle’s grandmother marched up to her son, Kyle’s father, and her hand landed on one side of the man’s face with a sharp smack.  Several people among those attending the funeral let out shocked gasps.  Kyle’s father had his fists clenched tightly at his sides and his jaw was tight.  The cheek where his mother had slapped him had turned a bright pink, and he stared straight ahead at where his head had turned.  Kyle’s mother stood there, expression blank and completely unmoving.  Kyle’s half-drunk grandfather stumbled over to his wife as Kyle’s grandmother began to say something, her voice shaking with anger.

“You look me in the eye right now, boy!” she cried.  

“Evie!  Sweetheart!” Kyle’s grandfather begged.  “Calm down!  Please!”

Kyle’s father closed his eyes and swallowed before opening them again and turning to face his mother.  Kyle’s grandmother shook a finger at her son.

“You two gave that boy nothing in his life other than grief, but that child still loved you!” the woman shouted in her distress.  “That boy thought you didn’t care about him because he was weak, and so every day he always worked so hard to be a military man, just like you!”

The rest of the funeral party watched in silence.  Kyle’s father’s body slowly began to tremble, tears forming in the man’s eyes.

“Darling, _please_ ,” Kyle’s grandfather said, hugging an arm around his wife’s shoulders.  “That’s enough…”

“No, it’s not enough!” Kyle’s grandmother wailed as she dropped to her knees.  “It will never be enough!  That boy is _dead_ , because of you, Martin!  How _dare_ you stand here now instead of him!  How _dare_ you!”

Kyle’s father didn’t respond.  Instead, he hung his head and began to sob.  His wife had tears streaming down her cheeks as well and she took her husband’s hand as Kyle’s grandfather dragged his own wife away, who was still screaming her curses at them.

The funeral service itself was brief and held outdoors.  While the casket was being lowered, Yancy spotted his friend Jeremy in the crowd.  He walked up behind the other man and placed a hand on his best friend’s shoulder.  Jeremy didn’t shrug him off, but he didn’t acknowledge him either—he just continued to stare at nothing in particular, straight ahead.  

“He read the letter, you know…” Yancy said just loud enough for his friend to hear.  

Jeremy’s fists clenched at his sides and he clamped his eyes tightly shut.  Yancy’s voice shook just as much as his friend’s trembling frame.

“I just thought…” Yancy choked back his tears.  “I mean, I don’t know...that maybe you might’ve liked to know that.”

Tears flowed out from his best friend’s eyes.  Jeremy hung his head low and he opened his mouth, letting out a few tearful gasps.  He slowly fell to his knees, and Yancy dropped with him, patting his friend gently on the back.  Jeremy gripped at the grass underneath his hands and began to sob uncontrollably.  Yancy let out his own cries, resting his forehead against his friend’s shoulder.  Raleigh hung back from his brother and Jeremy, unsure.  Of course he also felt a sense of loss, but he knew his relationship with Kyle didn’t run as deeply as it had for his brother and Jeremy.  The three of them eventually took their turn dumping clumps of dirt over Kyle’s lowered casket with a graveyard shovel.  Of all the people who were there that day, they were the very last ones to leave.

That evening, they sat on Jeremy’s porch, drinking beer out of cans and flipping through some old photo albums that Jeremy owned.  Jeremy took a sip out of one can and chuckled as he pointed at something on one of the pages.

“This was Halloween about nine years ago or something, wasn’t it?” Jeremy asked.  “Weren’t we in like middle school or something then?”

“Here, let me take a look,” said Yancy.

The blonde tugged at one end of the photo album and pulled it partially onto his lap from Jeremy’s.  He then leaned over the book and squinted his eyes a little before sitting back and letting out a laugh.

“You’re right,” Yancy said, shaking his head.  “We had Kyle dress up as a mermaid because he lost that one bet we had, remember?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, laughing.  “Man, he was so pissed.”

“What did you guys bet on?” Raleigh asked.  “I don’t think I remember this.”

Yancy chuckled and ruffled his younger brother’s hair.  “You were still only like nine or ten years old back then...I’m not surprised.”

“We had a bet on who could wear the same clothes to school the longest,” Jeremy said with a small lopsided smile.  

“Without washing them?” asked Raleigh.

“Nah, nothing that gross,” said Jeremy.

Yancy shook his head and laughed.  “You know, I don’t know how Kyle lost though.  He was certainly starting to give us a run for our money at one point.  The whole thing wasn’t even phasing him.”

“Well, you know how he was the only one not washing his damn clothes, right?”

“What?  Oh…!  Oh yeah!” Yancy said, laughing.  “Now I remember!  His grandma was starting to complain that he was stinking up the house and that she was going to wash his damn outfit.”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, grinning.  “And you know how he couldn’t find his pants and shirt after that?”

Yancy nodded.  “Yeah, that’s right.  I completely forgot about that too.”

Jeremy chuckled.  “Now how do you suppose that happened?”

Yancy shrugged.  “Hell if I know.  I mean, his grandma swore up and down that she didn’t lose ‘em...they just didn’t come out of the wash!”

“Well…” said Jeremy.  “Maybe they did.”

Yancy frowned.  “Jerry.  Clothing doesn’t just sprout arms and legs and walk off.”

“Sure they don’t,” Jeremy said with a laugh.  “And the washing machine sure as hell doesn’t eat them up either.”

Yancy shook his head.  “Then I don’t understand what you’re trying to get at, man.”

Jeremy half-smiled.  “Which one of us was over at his house almost every other day of the damn week?”

“Well that wasn’t me, that’s for sure,” said Yancy.

Raleigh nodded.  “Yeah.  Yancy and I were usually home after school.”

“So who does that leave then, geniuses?  Come on!” said Jeremy.  “Are you guys seriously that slow?”

“Wait a minute!” Yancy said, realizing what Jeremy was saying.  “Did you walk out with his clothes or something?”

Jeremy nodded.  “Uh-huh…”

“No way!” said Yancy.  “That was fucking cheating!”

“Ah, but neither of you ever figured it out, right?” said Jeremy.  “Believe me, it wasn’t easy.  I had to wait until Kyle went to the bathroom and his grandparents were distracted downstairs.  That way no one would notice when I interrupted the washing cycle and pulled out the goods.”

Yancy shook his head.  “But I mean, what did you even carry it out in?”

“My backpack.”

“Wasn’t it wet?” asked Raleigh.

“Sure it was,” Jeremy said, laughing.  “By the time I got home, the inside of my bag was completely soaked and some of the water came through and made the back of my shirt wet too.”

“How did Kyle not notice all that while you were at his house?” Yancy asked.

“Oh he definitely wondered why there was a puddle on his floor when I got up with my backpack,” said Jeremy.  “But he never put two and two together.  I just told him my water bottle must have exploded and I high-tailed it out of there after telling him I had to go home and clean it all up.”

Yancy chuckled.  “That’s messed up, man.”

Jeremy jabbed a finger in the air in Yancy’s direction.  “ _Hey._ Thanks to me, neither of us got stuck wearing a shell bra and a long-ass fish tail...because _you know_ the competition was really between the two of us.  Kyle was never going to lose that bet.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Yancy said.  “Still...that was pretty low, man.”

“Eh, whatever...it’s all in the past,” Jeremy said with a slight shrug.  “You know, he never did find out...I never told him.”

The expression on Jeremy’s face slowly grew sober.  “And I guess now I never will be able to…”

Yancy stared down at his half-empty beer can for a couple seconds before looking back at Jeremy.  He clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Hey,” he said.  “That’s enough of that…”

Jeremy nodded.  “Yeah…”

“Look, man...I’m getting pretty tired.  How about you?” Yancy asked.  “How about we all go and get some shut-eye?”

Jeremy shrugged.  “Sure, I guess.”

The three boys slowly got up and began collecting all the littered cans.  Raleigh unexpectedly staggered a little and Yancy quickly steadied him by grabbing him by the arm.

“Whoa...hey there, little man,” Yancy said, chuckling.  “Careful now.”

Raleigh shook his head.  “M’not little, Yance.”

His older brother and Jeremy exchanged a small smile.  Yancy nodded and patted his brother on the back.

“Yeah, all right, sure.  Whatever you say, kiddo,” said Yancy.  “Come on.  Let’s get you to bed.”

He looked over at Jeremy.  “You sure your parents are okay with us staying here tonight?”

Jeremy frowned slightly.  “Yeah, of course.  Why wouldn’t they be?”

Yancy shrugged a little.  “I don’t know...I mean, I guess it’s kind of unexpected.”

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Jeremy said, shaking his head.  “My folks love you guys.  Hell, my mom thinks your little brother is the most adorable thing that ever walked the planet.”

Yancy chuckled as Jeremy rolled his eyes.  “Well...he _is_ pretty cute now, isn’t he?”

Raleigh was leaning against his shoulder, half-asleep and slurred.  “M’ _not_ cuthe…”

Both older men laughed together and shook their heads.  Jeremy tilted his head toward his home’s front door.

“Come on.  Let’s get the kid inside,” Jeremy said with a smile.

While Jeremy was throwing away all the empty cans and putting in the refrigerator what was left, Yancy dragged his brother into the Daniels’ living room and helped his brother to lie down on their long couch.  

“Sweet dreams there, kiddo,” Yancy whispered.

Raleigh smiled and wrapped his hands around his older brother’s neck.  “Mm...swee’dreams, Yanthce…”

Raleigh pulled his older brother’s head down and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before letting his body sink into the couch and fall asleep.  Yancy flushed furiously when he heard someone clear their throat.  He snapped his head up and was only half-relieved to see it was only Jeremy and neither of his parents.

“Ah, Jerry…” Yancy said, smiling sheepishly.  “I think the kid’s just had a little too much to drink…”

Jeremy shook his head.  “Eh...don’t worry about it, Yancy.  I already know.”

Yancy’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.  “Huh…?  What are you talkin’ about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Jeremy said with a slight shrug.  “It’s all right...I mean, it was weird as hell to hear about at first...but it’s okay...Kyle explained to me what happens when you guys do that mental link thing over there, so I mean...I guess I _kind of_ get it.”

“Ah...oh,” Yancy said, half-smiling.  “Yeah...it’s kind of complicated.”

It didn’t appear Kyle had mentioned the fact that Yancy had been doing things like this with his brother for years, and Yancy wasn’t about to make that correction.  Jeremy shrugged again.

“Yeah, I figured.”

Just then, Jeremy’s father entered the room.  “Hey there, boys.”

“Hey, Dad,” said Jeremy.

Yancy nodded.  “Evening, Mr. Daniels.”

“It’s good seeing you and your brother again, Yancy,” said Mr. Daniels.  “I’m awful sorry about everything that happened...Kyle was such a great kid and you all have been such good friends to one another.  You boys make yourselves right at home...”

“Thank you...” said Yancy.  “And your hospitality is much appreciated, Mr. Daniels.  Sorry it was on such short notice.”

“No, please!” said Mr. Daniels.  “Don’t worry about that, son.  I only wish it were under better circumstances.”

Yancy half-smiled.  “So do I, sir.”

“You boys hanging around for breakfast tomorrow morning?” Mr. Daniels asked.  

“Aw, that’s all right, Mr. Daniels,” Yancy said.  “Raleigh and I don’t want to inconvenience you.  We have to get going pretty early anyway.”

“No inconvenience,” Mr. Daniels said, shaking his head.  “How early do you both have to go?  I don’t mind waking up earlier.  I’m sure my wife’ll want to say goodbye to you both too.”

“We’ll get up probably around five,” Yancy said with a slight grimace.  “The PPDC will be sending an escort for us that’s expected to arrive around six.”

Jeremy’s father nodded.  “Alright.  That’s fine.  Lisa and I will get up in time to see you boys off.  You sleep well now.”

“Will do,” said Yancy.  “Thank you, sir.”

“I think I’m going to sleep down here with them tonight, Dad,” said Jeremy.

His father nodded.  “Sounds good to me, son.”

After his father left, Jeremy turned to Yancy.  “Wait right here.  I’ll be back with some pillows and sheets.”

Yancy shrugged.  “Sure.  Thanks man.”

When Jeremy came back, the two of them set everything out onto the floor.  After turning out the lights, both men laid there on the ground, opposite arms behind their heads and staring up at the ceiling while listening to the sound of Raleigh’s steady breathing from where he slept.

Jeremy chuckled and whispered softly.  “That brat sleeps just like a log…”

Yancy smiled a little.  “Mmhmm…”

A peaceful silence settled between them.  Yancy had been just about to close his eyes to go to sleep, when Jeremy spoke.

“You know...he and I were supposed to talk when he came back down here…” Jeremy said softly.

Yancy didn’t reply because he didn’t know how to respond.  So he just listened as Jeremy continued.

“Honestly...? I don’t even know what I would have said.”

Yancy could hear the slight frown in his best friend’s voice.  He let out a small sigh.

“I don’t know man,” said Yancy.

Jeremy chuckled.  “Eh, maybe I would’ve punched him in the face first.”

Yancy laughed softly.  “What were you two even supposed to talk about, anyhow?”

“Well, we were supposed to talk about—” Jeremy trailed off and shook his head.  “You know what?  It’s nothing.  Never mind.  Nothing anyone can do about it anymore…”

“Hey…” Yancy said, turning his head in Jeremy’s direction.  “You know you can always talk to me if you need someone to listen, right?”

“Yeah, man…” Jeremy said with a nod.  “I know.”

“Good,” Yancy said, turning over again onto his backside.  

When Jeremy spoke again, his voice carried unexpected emotion.  “I really should have made more of an effort to reach out to him…”

Yancy frowned and ran his tongue of his bottom lip.  “Aw, c’mon, Jerry.   You were just busy helping your dad with construction and stuff...that’s all.  Kyle understood.  You know?”

“I...I know,” Jeremy replied shakily.

“So don’t beat yourself up about it, man,” said Yancy.

Jeremy didn’t say anything back at first.  After a couple minutes, Yancy adjusted his position and moved the covers around his body.  Amidst all the sounds of shuffling, he almost missed his friend’s softly spoken words, which were filled with regret.

_“...I should have made time.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally this chapter was supposed to go on for longer...but I kind of liked the idea of ending it with that last line. Besides, this chapter was super long in my word processor...(I swear they get like five pages longer each new chapter I write!) 
> 
> We're almost at the end of the main fic. I may hold off on writing the alternate ending/part II and take a short break to plug out fills for prompts that I can totally do as oneshots...but I haven't completely decided that yet. We'll see what happens. Aiming to plug out the conclusion for this half of the story within the next few days!


	11. Ruin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OmG!! SO SORRY this took absolutely FOREVER to get out!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!! There was just so much I felt like I had to cover.
> 
> I’ve crunched another few years into one chapter. We start in 2018, a year after the death of my OCs. Then the chapter will brush super lightly over 2019 and then we’ll hit 2020, which is the year the movie starts. I know, that’s a lot of time crunched in one piece, but I’ve worked hard to make every bit count! This chapter also ties in a bit from the movie. I can't say the script is entirely accurate though...not to mention I've made my own additions. (Like how the Beckets meet the Hansens, some conversations in the Drift, etc.) I've tried to stick as close to the timeline as I can, but I know there's going to be inconsistencies.
> 
> For those who want more, rest assured, there are plans for it. Information can be found on that in the second paragraph of the end notes. A huge thanks to all those who left kudos and comments of support. This story absolutely could not have completed as quickly as it did without you all!

To put it simply, things had changed.  Fighting Kaiju had taken on a different meaning for Yancy and Raleigh Becket; in some ways, they had grown a little more and become better men.  They were not the only ones—the loss of two of the Anchorage Shatterdome’s star pilots heavily weighed down the atmosphere.  Still, life went on.

The first year following the tragic incident was the most difficult.  Yancy hardly smiled and just as rarely spoke.  Raleigh did his best to act as he had before, joking with other pilots and maintaining lighthearted conversation, all the while trying to get his brother to open up again and do the same.  

At first, when the brothers had returned to the Shatterdome, everything had been fine.  Yancy brooded and Raleigh let him; however, after several weeks had passed, Raleigh had decided that it was time for a change.  That’s when he took it upon himself to try and help Yancy to heal and move forward.  His attempts were misinterpreted by his brother as a lack of caring for Kyle and his memory, and most likely that was what caused Yancy to snap.

If people noticed the bruising on his face and the cuts on his lips that were sometimes there, they never let on.  Raleigh never sought out help, and he made an effort to act as if nothing was wrong, even though the opposite was true.  As a result, Marshal Pentecost was left unaware of the current situation.  The marshal typically kept to his own schedule, separate from the Jaeger pilots, and at that time he had been rather occupied with studying Kaiju breaching frequencies and finding a suitable team to take Tango Tasmania’s place.  For better or for worse, Raleigh had fallen into his old habit from childhood—he would rather endure his brother’s abuse than report him for his actions.  Even knowing the consequences he would face every night as a result of continuing his crusade, Raleigh refused to relent.  

Yancy was particularly rough with him the night two Jaeger pilots were transferred from the Sydney Shatterdome to take the place of Kyle and Ethan.  They were one of the brother teams that the Beckets had heard about back during their academy days—Hercules and Scott Hansen.  The older brother, Hercules—who insisted on being addressed as Herc—apparently had a fifteen-year-old prodigy for a son who had been left behind in his hometown, awaiting his turn to enroll in Sydney’s Jaeger Academy.  Raleigh had welcomed the brothers warmly while Yancy regarded them with disdain.  After exchanging expected social pleasantries, Yancy grabbed Raleigh tightly by the wrist and dragged him back to their room.  Neither noticed the contemplative expression that was on the older Hansen’s face as they walked away.

Upon reaching their room, Yancy shoved his brother in and slammed the door behind them.  Raleigh steeled himself the minute he heard their door lock click into place.  Unconsciously, he had backed himself against a wall as his brother approached him, a dark look on his face.

“Yancy…” Raleigh whispered.  “Please…”

He regretted his choice of words the minute he said them.  Yancy overpowered him in seconds and had his hands pinned over his head.  Raleigh shuddered when his brother trailed a finger down the side of his face.  

Yancy leaned forward and hovered his lips by his brother’s ear.  “You know I love it when you beg.”

“No…” Raleigh said weakly.  “Yancy…!  That’s not what I—”

“Shut _up!_ ” Yancy growled.

He suddenly gripped Raleigh by the throat and tears stung the younger man’s eyes as he choked when Yancy slammed his head back into the wall.  Raleigh struggled against his brother’s hold, but to no avail.  He gasped for breath when Yancy finally released him, and crumpled on the ground.  Raleigh barely had a chance to gather his bearings when his head was yanked roughly back by his brother, who had a painful grip on a good portion of his hair.  Raleigh yelped when his brother forced him up and practically threw him on his own bed.  The room seemed to rattle with the impact.

“It drives me crazy, the way you act like nothing ever happened,” Yancy said, ripping the belt from his pants.  “I’m going to wipe that heartless smile off your face.”

Raleigh whimpered.  “Yancy…”

“Take your pants down, Rals,” said Yancy.  “And turn over.”

His younger brother knew what was coming.  Yancy’s desire for his body had not only renewed, they had increased in intensity, bringing out more of his older brother’s violent nature and tastes for more extreme forms of intimacy.  Raleigh also knew that he had two choices—the same two options he’s had to work with all along—either report his brother and end the current vicious cycle, or to submit and let it all continue.  

In some ways, it wasn’t that difficult a decision at all.  Raleigh chose as he always did.  He chose his brother.  Raleigh lowered his jeans and undergarments, letting them pool at his ankles.  He obediently turned over and reached for one of the pillows on his bed so that he could smother his face when it came time to let out the screams.

The belt cracked hard on his buttocks with a loud smack, and Raleigh hugged the pillow tightly to his face, muting his cries.  The pain seemed to sear right down to his legs, and Raleigh felt his knees buckling.  His brother stopped when he fell completely onto his knees.  Before Yancy could go any further, there was a knock at the door.

Both men froze, but Yancy quickly regained his composure.  He dropped the belt on the ground and made his way over to the door.  He looked through the peephole before opening it, just a crack.  One of the newly transferred pilots, Herc Hansen, was on the other side with a somber expression.

Herc gave Yancy a curt nod.  “Evening, Ranger Becket.”

The older Becket didn’t so much as smile.  “Can I help you, sir?”

He blocked the older man’s view inside of the room with his body.  When Herc tried to look around Yancy’s shoulder, the other man adjusted his position.  Herc frowned.

“Problem?” Yancy asked.

“I was hoping to speak with your brother about some matters,” Herc said smoothly.

Yancy half-smiled.  They both knew the older pilot was lying.

“I’m sorry,” Yancy said, who didn’t sound at all apologetic.  “He’s a bit busy at the moment.”

“He can’t tell me that for himself?” Herc asked.

“It may be better if we talk another day, sir,” Raleigh said, suddenly coming up behind his brother.

Yancy looked over his shoulder in surprise; Raleigh had managed to put his pants back on before limping over to the door.  Surprise flitted briefly in his eyes, but Yancy was able to quickly mask it before looking back at a frowning Herc.

“See?” said Yancy.  “Everything is fine here.”

Herc’s frown deepened.  “I never said that I thought anything was wrong, Ranger Becket…”

The smirk dropped from Yancy’s face, and for a minute, Herc thought that maybe he had won.  What he hadn’t counted on was Raleigh willingly coming to his brother’s rescue.

“Ah, but I’m afraid that you implied it, sir,” said Raleigh.  “But really...if all you want to do is talk…”

He looked uncertainly over at his brother.  “...I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask that we save that for a much later date.”

“Hm…very well then,” Herc agreed with reluctance.  “You boys have a good evening, then.”

Neither Becket replied and Yancy nudged his brother back before shutting their door right in Herc’s face.  The older man glowered as he stalked away from the Becket’s suite; he was going to have a word with Pentecost.

Meanwhile, in the room, Yancy had his younger brother pinned beneath him on Raleigh’s bed, but this time the expression on his face was more subdued.  Raleigh held his brother’s gaze steadily, not so much as flinching even when his brother once again brushed his fingers over the side of his face.

“You chose not to give me away…” Yancy said, face twisted in mild confusion.  

Raleigh nodded.  “I won’t let them take you away from me.”

Yancy rested his head between Raleigh’s shoulder and his neck, breathing in his younger brother’s scent.  “That should be my line…”

Raleigh ran his fingers gently through his brother’s hair while staring up at the ceiling.  A light frown formed on his face when Yancy sighed.  
“You deserve better than me, Rals…”

Raleigh shook his head.  “You’re more than enough.”

“You need someone who won’t fail you, time and time again…” Yancy said softly.  “Someone who is incapable of hurting you.”

“It doesn’t hurt as much as you think it does,” Raleigh lied, still running his fingers through Yancy’s hair.  “Besides, you only lose yourself for a little while, Yance...but you always find a way to come back.  And that...that’s good enough for me.”

Yancy sighed.  “You’re too good to me, kid…”

Raleigh shivered when one of Yancy’s hands began to wander again.  “...I think that’s why I just can’t seem to quit you.”

Raleigh shut his eyes.  He could feel his brother’s need pulsing against one of his thighs.  He  took in a deep breath and responded in a way that was against his better judgment.

His voice came out in a strained whisper.  “Do you still want me now, Yancy…?”

Yancy’s reply sounded just as pained.  “...more than you know.”

“Then...take what you need,” Raleigh said, guiding his brother’s searching hand underneath of his shirt.

He opened his eyes to see his brother staring back at him in a mixture of confusion and conflict.  Yancy’s lips hovered dangerously close to his own.  The older Becket wet his bottom lip before speaking.

“Raleigh…?”

“I’ll do whatever you want, Yance...” his younger brother whispered, offering him a small smile and shaking his head.  “I always will.”

“Then I won’t be holding back,” Yancy warned.

Raleigh half-smiled.  “I’m not stupid enough to expect you to.”

He gasped softly then, when Yancy captured his lips and began to explore with his tongue.  Despite Yancy’s mild threat, the older man progressed with surprising gentleness that night, and Raleigh wondered if perhaps Herc showing up moments earlier hadn’t been such a bad thing after all.  Little did he know how much the Australian pilot’s presence would be changing things.

Several weeks later, it was Yancy that Herc isolated with the intent to have a conversation.  The more seasoned pilot had waited for just the right moment, and that moment had come when Raleigh had been roughed up too badly by Yancy the night before to make an appearance in the cafeteria, so he remained in his room while the older Becket had come to the cafeteria alone.  Herc caught Yancy just before the man could go back to his room with a tray filled with food for both his brother and himself.

“Ranger Becket,” he said.  “May I have a word with you, please?”

He was unfazed by the look of utter distaste on the other pilot’s face.  “I’m afraid I’m a little too busy for conversation, sir.”

“Not to worry, this will only take a minute,” Herc insisted.  “In fact, I think this is a conversation better had in private...would you please come with me to my office, Ranger Becket?”

Yancy quirked an eyebrow.  “You have an office?”

“The marshal and I are longtime friends,” Herc nodded and said, by way of explanation.  “The arrangement is temporary, of course, and I only make use of the facility on an ‘as needed’ basis.”

“Interesting…” said Yancy.  “And why exactly would I be interested in following you?”

“Because if you decide that you do not wish to cooperate and take advantage of this opportunity,” said Herc.  “Then I will make a suggestion to the marshal, recommending that you and your brother be separated.”

Yancy frowned, his hands tightening their grip around his tray.  “Now who do you think you are, sticking your nose in someone else’s business?”

“Someone with good intentions who also happens to have friends in high places,” said Herc.  

Yancy scowled.  “Fine.  Lead the way.”

“I knew you’d come around,” Herc said with a half-smile.  “Follow me.”

The Australian pilot led the blonde down a hall and into a small office.  Herc gestured toward one of the chairs as he shut the door behind them.

“Please.  Have a seat.  Feel free to place your tray down on my desk.”

Yancy set down his tray and settled in one of the office chairs.  Herc walked to the other side of his desk and took a seat as well.  

Immediately, Yancy cut to the chase.  “Now tell me why I’m here.”

“I’m not trying to make enemies here,” Herc said, shaking his head.  “On the contrary...I would much rather be your friend.”

Yancy frowned.  “So you’re here to impose?”

“No,” said Herc.  “I am here to offer you help.”

The uncertainty that flashed through Yancy’s eyes was just the reaction Herc was looking for.  Yancy shook his head.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean by that, sir.”

“I may not know all the details, but trust me when I say I think I can understand,” said Herc.  “The Drift can do many things to pilots.  Especially those partnered with their siblings.”

Yancy wet his lips nervously.  “Your point being, sir?”

“Point being, I’ve noticed some things about the way you handle you brother,” said Herc.  “And I took the liberty of speaking with a few among those who know your dynamic well.”

“...seems you’ve gone through quite a bit of trouble, sir,” said Yancy.  “Though I admit, I’m curious as to why you’ve taken such interest.”

“Because I’ve been trained to recognize a cry for help when I see it,” said Herc.

“Sir?”

“Do you have any idea know who I was before this whole Kaiju thing started?” Herc asked.

Yancy shook his head.  “No, can’t say that I do.”

Herc half-smiled.  “You should do your homework sometimes too, Ranger.  Before the Kaiju War, I was a practicing psychotherapist in the military.”

Yancy frowned.  “You’re a shrink.”

If Herc was bothered by Yancy’s statement, he didn’t show it.  Instead, he chuckled.

“Some do call us that,” he said.  

“You trying to fix me, Doc?”

Herc shook his head.  “I just want to help you, Ranger…”

Yancy surprised him by appearing to think about it.  Herc waited patiently.  Finally, after several minutes, the blonde looked up at him, caution clearly reflected in his eyes.

“And how exactly would you go about doing that, Doc?”

“By listening to what you have to say,” said Herc.  “Try to figure out what the source of the problem is, and see if there isn’t anything we can do to go about fixing it.”

“How do I know that I can trust you?” Yancy asked after a contemplative pause.

“Doctor-patient confidentiality,” said Herc.  “With a few exceptions.”

Yancy frowned.  “Such as?”

“If you threaten harm yourself, harm others, or to kill anything that isn’t a Kaiju,” Herc said flatly.  “Then I may need to take it up with the proper authorities.”

Yancy hesitated.  “I don’t think…”

“Or rather, I should say if you appear to _intentionally_ want to kill, harm yourself, or harm others,” Herc quickly amended.  “It’s no secret to anyone that you love your brother, Ranger Becket.  That much is clear enough that even I didn’t need to be told.”

Yancy bit the inside of his cheek.  “Sir…”

Herc leaned slightly forward.  “Believe me when I say that I speak from experience when I tell you that I understand—love can make a person do crazy things.”

Yancy tilted his head.  “For example?”

“I chose to sacrifice the life of my wife so that I could save the life of my son,” Herc said stonily.

Yancy stared into the older man’s eyes and saw that his fellow pilot was not lying.  Oddly, Yancy suddenly felt as if he had discovered a kindred spirit.

“I’ve laid hands on my brother more times than I can count,” Yancy said evenly.  “I love him so much, but I keep on hurting him, and I really wish that I could figure out how to stop.”

Herc nodded and gave the younger man a sympathetic smile.  He leaned back in his chair.

“Your secret’s safe with me, Ranger.”

For the next few hours, the two men discussed everything about Yancy’s relationship with his younger brother.  By the time Yancy made it back to his room with the tray, the food on it had gotten cold.  Raleigh was still asleep when Yancy returned.  

Yancy set down the tray on his younger brother’s nightstand before sitting down on the edge of his brother’s bed.  The older man nudged his younger brother gently, causing Raleigh to stir.

“Hey…” Yancy whispered, brushing back some of Raleigh’s hair.  “Time to get up, squirt.”

Raleigh turned over and brought a hand up to his eyes in order to rub them.  He looked up tiredly at his brother.

“...Yancy?”

His older brother nodded.  “Sorry I’m late...’fraid the food’s gotten cold.”

“S’alright…” Raleigh said, slowly rising into a sitting position.

The two brothers stared at each other for a few minutes.  Raleigh involuntarily flinched when Yancy reached out his hand; however, he reacted just as quickly and took hold of his brother’s wrist when Yancy tried to retract his hand.  

Yancy sighed.  “This pushing and pulling…”

Raleigh shrugged and offered his brother a small smile.  “It’s just who we are, Yance.  It’s who we’ve always been.”

Yancy looked down.  “...I’ll do better.”

Raleigh pressed a kiss to his temple.  “I know, Yance.  Take your time.”

Yancy closed his eyes.  “How long can you wait?”

He could hear the shrug in his younger brother’s voice as Raleigh responded, matter-of-fact.  “Forever, if I have to.”

Yancy sighed and shook his head.  “You’re too good to me, kid…”

“I know.”

Yancy opened his eyes and looked at his brother.  “I love you.”

Raleigh gave him a soft smile.  “I know...I love you too.”

Fortunately for them, no Kaiju threats occurred for the next few weeks, giving Raleigh some time to recuperate.  Yancy continued to bring meals back to the room, and met regularly with Herc in his little office.  It took some time before Raleigh began to notice a shift in his brother’s behavior, but when he did, he didn’t make a huge fuss about it.  He was just more than happy to accept the change, even though he had no idea what had brought it on.

Raleigh finally began making public appearances again when his health had recovered enough.  His fellow Jaeger pilots welcomed him back warmly, none asking any questions.  The explanation Raleigh gave was that he had been suffering from a cold, and it was a story readily accepted by his peers.

Perhaps due to Herc’s influence, Yancy became less insistent that his brother be constantly by his side, and though Raleigh wondered over his newfound freedom, it hadn’t taken him long to adjust.  Even so, he tended not to stray too far from his older brother’s line of sight, out of sheer habit if not anything else.

One afternoon, Raleigh was in the middle of a light-hearted exchange with the Gage twins when Scott Hansen approached him.  Herc had called Yancy away several minutes earlier, as was the new routine during their lunch hour.

“Well if it isn’t Scott Hansen!” Bruce said, raising the glass he was holding.  “Care to join us for some drinks?”

“Actually, I was hoping to discuss some matters privately with Ranger Becket,” said Scott.  “If that’s all right, that is.”

“Sure,” Raleigh said with a shrug.

“Then please, follow me,” said Scott.  “I’ve something to show you.”

“What is it?” Raleigh asked as he began following Scott.

“You’ll see,” Scott said, looking at his watch.  “We’ll have to hurry though.”

Raleigh frowned.  “Why’s that?”

“Because what I’ve got to show you is in one of the labs,” said Scott.  “And there’s only a forty-five minute gap until the next shift.”

Raleigh stopped in his tracks.  “So we’re not supposed to go in there?”

“Of course not, but it’ll be fine!” said Scott.  “It’ll only be for a blink of a second.”

“Mm...I don’t know…” Raleigh said uncertainly.

Scott clapped a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder.  “Come on, Raleigh!  Where’s your sense of adventure?”

Raleigh took a second to weigh his options.  Scott took another glance at his watch before looking at the other pilot again.

“I promise, it’ll totally be worth your while,” Scott reassured.  “This is something they probably won’t show the other pilots until beta testing has been completed.”

“How’d you find out?” Raleigh asked.

Scott shrugged.  “Through lots of snooping.  It gets boring around here, you know?”

Raleigh shook his head. “Herc has no idea, does he?”

Scott frowned.  “Of course not!  You know what it’s like, having a strict older brother.”

Raleigh half-smiled.  “Yeah...I guess so.”

“See?  This is why I’d like to show you,” said Scott.  “We’re kindred spirits, you and I.”

The younger man’s curiosity won out in the end.  “Is it really that cool?”

Scott nodded.  “Absolutely.”

“And it will only take a second?” asked Raleigh.

Scott nodded again.  “That’s right.”

Raleigh’s lips quirked into a small smile.  “Well, then what are we waiting for?”

Scott grinned.  “My thoughts exactly.”

Meanwhile, Yancy was in Herc’s office.  The two men were discussing Yancy’s progress in regards to his brother.

“Have you noticed general improvements in your relationship?” Herc asked.

Yancy nodded.  “Yeah...Raleigh’s less tense around me these days.”

“Good,” said Herc.  “Have you—”

The older man never got a chance to finish his sentence because Yancy suddenly bolted upright, knocking back his chair with a loud slam.  Herc frowned.

“What is it?”

“Sorry, Herc.  We’re going to have to continue this later,” Yancy said hurriedly as he turned for the door.

Herc called after Yancy, but it was too late; the other man had already bolted out of the room and gone.  Those who found themselves in the way quickly stepped aside and looked after Yancy in curiosity as the Jaeger pilot thundered down the hall.  While running, Yancy pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and scrolled through his contacts for the number he needed.

“Tendo!” he said urgently into the phone when the other man answered.  “I need a favor from you!”

Minutes later, he and Raleigh were back in their room.  Raleigh was sitting on his bed with his blanket wrapped around him, eyes downcast, and Yancy was pacing about their room angrily.

“You knew better, Rals!” Yancy said, shaking his head.  “Just what were you thinking?!”

Raleigh blinked the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes.  “I...I don’t know, Yance...I just…”

His older brother stopped pacing and sighed.  He walked over to Raleigh and cupped his hands around the younger man’s cheeks.  

“Hey.  Look at me,” said Yancy.

When Raleigh refused, Yancy used his hands to lift his younger brother’s face.  Raleigh reluctantly looked into the older man’s eyes.  Yancy sighed again and brought their foreheads together.  Both men closed their eyes.

“I don’t care what Herc says.  I’m never letting you out of my sight, ever again,” said Yancy.  

When he pulled again, Raleigh was looking up at him curiously.  “Herc…?”

“He’s been trying to keep us apart...so it would be better for you,” Yancy said as the beginnings of a frown began to form on his face.  “Though now...I’m wondering if it wasn’t really to help us after all, but for some other purpose…”

Raleigh didn’t say anything, and a silence settled between the two men for a short while.  Finally, when Yancy got up to leave, Raleigh grabbed him by the wrist.  His older brother looked at him in confusion.

“Raleigh…?”

“Don’t leave me…” Raleigh said softly.

Yancy shook his head.  “I’ll just be on the other side of the room.”

“No,” said Raleigh.  “Don’t go.”

Yancy sighed.  “Rals…”

Raleigh’s jaw tightened.  “ _Please._ ”

His older brother swallowed.  “You’ve had a long day, kid.  You’re not thinking straight.”

The younger man stared up at his brother evenly.  “...I know exactly what I’m asking.”

Yancy stood there for a few minutes before slipping into his brother’s bed.  He let out a small chuckle when his brother practically scrambled on top of him.  Yancy wrapped Raleigh in a warm embrace and stroked his fingers through his brother’s hair.  They lay there quietly, and Yancy did his best to focus on anything other than the person he was holding in his arms.  

Raleigh clutched at his older brother’s shirt and spoke after a few moments.  “Do you still love me, Yancy?”

Yancy’s hand stopped mid-motion.  He frowned, knowing what the context was behind his brother’s question.

“Of course I do, Rals.”

Raleigh lifted his head and looked into his brother’s eyes.  For once, Yancy was the one that wasn’t sure what was on his brother’s mind.  Raleigh dropped his gaze and swirled a finger against his brother’s chest.  When he spoke again, his voice was almost a whisper.

“Then...prove it to me,” Raleigh said before looking straight into his brother’s eyes again.

Yancy felt his mouth go dry.  “You’re just upset right now, Rals...you’re not thinking rationally.”

Raleigh frowned.  Yancy shook his head.

“Trust me.  This isn’t going to make you feel better, kid.”

Raleigh sighed and buried his face in Yancy’s chest.  “So you won’t do it...because of _that_.  Everything’s changed now, hasn’t it?”

“No, Raleigh…that’s not it at all,” said Yancy.

When Raleigh looked up again, his eyes were glassy.  “You know, I think it’s all bullshit.”

Yancy frowned.  “What are you talking about?”

“You trying to get help from Herc,” Raleigh said, somewhat sharply.  

Yancy shook his head.  “We both know that I have a problem, kid…”

“But we dealt with it, Yance,” said Raleigh.  “We always have.  In our own way.”

“I just thought—”

“He approached you, didn’t he?”

Yancy blinked.  “What?”

“Herc.  He was the one that approached you first, right?” said Raleigh.  “Otherwise it doesn’t make sense, does it?  I don’t think you would have ever sought out the help on your own.”

“Rals…”

“Am I right?” Raleigh pressed.  “Or are you telling me what we’ve been doing all these years could have been avoided all along?”

“I...I honestly don’t know,” Yancy said helplessly.  “Maybe if I met someone like Herc earlier…”

Raleigh shook his head.  “Yancy.  Stop.”

His brother frowned and the older man’s lips pressed into a thin line.  The expression Raleigh’s face was pained.

“Don’t try to bullshit me, Yance,” said Raleigh.  “There’s no secrets in the Drift, remember?  I’ve seen everything.  I’ve felt the things you’ve felt the way _you_ were feeling them.”

Yancy tensed.  Raleigh continued.

“If there had been a way for you to do something about the situation before, you would have done it, Yance,” said Raleigh.  “I believe that.”

“Raleigh…” Yancy said softly as he pushed his brother’s hair back.  “What do you want me to do?”

“I...I don’t know,” Raleigh said with a sigh as he lowered his head onto his brother’s chest.  “God, Yance...it’s just all so messed up now.”

“Come on, Rals...you’ve got to know, right?” asked Yancy.  “Or else you wouldn’t be acting like this.”

Raleigh let out a sigh.  Yancy trailed his fingers gently up and down his younger brother’s spine.

“Tell me what it is you want, Rals,” Yancy whispered.  “How do I make this better?”

He braced himself for his brother to tell him that he couldn’t; however, Raleigh surprised him.  When the younger man looked up into Yancy’s eyes, the older man could see reflected in them that his brother was feeling resolute.

“Take responsibility.”

Yancy didn’t need any further explanation.  He knew what Raleigh meant by that.  Yancy started to get up and Raleigh moved off of him and over to the side.  After a bit of shuffling, the two men had switched places; Yancy on top and his younger brother underneath.  Yancy placed his hands on either side of his brother’s face, and ran his thumbs up and down the temples while staring into his brother’s eyes.

Yancy wet his lips.  “Raleigh…”

His brother’s eyes betrayed nothing.  “Do you love me, Yancy?”

It wasn’t a question.  It was a challenge.  Yancy closed his eyes.

“ _Yes_.”

“Then show me,” Raleigh whispered.

Yancy brought down his head, and the two brushed lips.  For the first time, it seemed to Yancy, his brother’s kiss seemed to be filled with desperation and a sense of longing.  After a few seconds, Yancy broke away.  When he looked down at his brother, Raleigh’s expression seemed both torn and confused.

“Yancy…?”

The older man’s eyebrows furrowed together.  “Raleigh…?  Could I...can I give you something?”

Raleigh tilted his head to the side.  “Sure, Yance...like what?”

Yancy backed off of his brother.  “Sit up for me.”

The older man pushed himself upright, and Raleigh immediately followed suit.  Yancy reached for his neck and pulled the chain he was wearing up over his head.  He then put the necklace he had been wearing around his brother’s neck.   

“For you,” Yancy said softly.  “I want you to have them.  In fact...I’ve been meaning to give them to you for a while.”

Raleigh reached up his hands and clasped his hands around his brother’s gift.  He then looked down at the dog tags bearing his brother’s name as his fingers began toying with them.

“ _You belong to me.”_  Those were the words Yancy left unsaid.

Raleigh nodded and then looked up at his brother with a small smile.  He mirrored the action, reaching underneath his brother’s chain and pulling his own tags up over his head.  He then placed his necklace around Yancy’s neck.

“For you,” Raleigh echoed.

The action was symbolism of his willing agreement to his brother’s terms.  “ _I’m yours.”_

“We stop here tonight,” said Yancy.  “All right?”

“Okay,” said Raleigh.

Yancy then leaned forward and pecked his brother on the cheek before getting off Raleigh’s mattress.  Raleigh settled himself back down into his bed while watching his brother climb up into his.

“Sleep tight, Rals,” Yancy said as he turned over in his bed.  “Try to get some rest.”

“You too, Yance,” Raleigh said, doing the same.  “See you in the morning.”

Each man brought the other man’s tags up to their lips and pressed a kiss.  Both fell asleep soon after.

Roughly a week later, a Category Two Kaiju was reported to have appeared from the breach.  Both brother teams, Gipsy Danger and Lucky Seven, were given orders to respond.  Herc and Scott Hansen would be taking the offensive.  The Becket brothers were ordered to stand down and offer their assistance only on an as-needed basis.  Lucky Seven should have been more than able to deal with the Kaiju threat; however, something unexpected occurred.

Just before the Hansen’s Jaeger could deflect the angry Kaiju’s blow, Herc suddenly saw something in the Drift with his brother that he had not been expecting.  It was unclear what caused his brother’s memory to suddenly surface.

 _Scott spying on something in Herc’s memories; his older brother’s therapy sessions with Yancy Becket.  Scott prying deeper and discovering the Becket’s darkest secret._ Herc frowned, barely registering Tendo’s warning overhead that they were starting to go out of alignment.   _Scott luring Raleigh away from his friends with a lie.  Scott taking Raleigh into a room._ Herc wondered how his brother had gotten the passcode to gain lab access.   _Scott knocking an unsuspecting Raleigh on the back of the head before forcing the younger man onto the ground and underneath him.  Raleigh disoriented, but trying to fight back._ One of Herc’s memories filled in some of the gaps.   _Yancy suddenly bolting upright from his chair.  Yancy rushing out of the room and down the hall in a panic._ Then they were back in Scott’s memories.   _Scott about to do the unthinkable to the younger Becket.  Yancy suddenly crashing into the room and beating the living daylights out of Herc’s younger brother._

His brother’s shouts and the sudden impact from the Kaiju landing its crushing blow against Lucky Seven’s metal body thrusted Herc back into reality, but it was too late.  Herc looked over at his brother in a daze.  Scott was saying something, but he couldn’t seem to make out the words.  Herc frowned in confusion and shook his head.

“Scott...you…?”

“Fucking pull yourself together, Herc!” his younger brother screamed.  “You’re going to get us killed out here!”

They were saved from the Kaiju’s death-bringing blow by intervention from Gipsy Danger; the Becket’s had swooped in immediately upon sensing something wasn’t going quite right with Lucky Seven.  Team Gipsy was able to finish the job cleanly, and the Hansens were silent as they were being transported back to base in their badly damaged Jaeger.

When they landed in the disinfecting bay, Scott seemed to have found his voice.  “Herc.  Listen…”

Herc’s face radiated anger, but his voice was eerily calm.  “I’ve no words to say to you, Scott.”

Before his brother could respond, they were interrupted by a standard team of attendants who had come on board the Jaeger to disconnect them.  Unfortunately for the younger Hansen, his older brother was disconnected first.  Herc wasted no time in striding off the vessel.  He did not stop once, nor did he look back over his shoulder when his brother called after him.

“Herc, stop!  Wait!  I can explain…!   _Please!_ ”

The marshal was surprised when Herc approached him in his office to report the reasons behind Lucky Seven’s failure in its mission before he could even ask.  Herc, however, had been kind to leave out any details pertaining to the Beckets.  All lectures the marshal had prepared became stuck in his throat upon hearing the reason for the Hansen’s going out of alignment, and that very evening Scott Hansen was dismissed from service.  

The next day, word spread like wildfire that Lucky Seven was now nothing more than scrap metal, and that one of the pilots had been discharged without honors.  The next time Herc and Yancy’s paths crossed, the two exchanged a nod that held a meaning only the two of them understood.

The following year, Herc was transferred back to Sydney.  Partially because no Kaiju attacks were projected to appear from the breach any time soon, but also because Herc’s son was graduating from the Jaeger Academy there.  No official statement had been made, but it was rumored a highly likely possibility that the next time the elder Hansen was to pilot a Jaeger, it would be with his son as a co-pilot.  

Sometime afterward, perhaps appropriately so, the Becket brothers were transferred into a new room, to mark their advancement as senior pilots in the ranks.  It featured a bunk bed and a kitchen sink with cabinets, in addition to the private bathroom that was standard to all rooms.  Their new living quarters was also closer to all of the Jaeger loading docks, as it was more likely that they would be among the pilots called to respond to Kaiju threats, and at greater frequencies as well.

Despite Herc’s absence, the relationship between Yancy and Raleigh steadily improved.  It took a bit of trial and error at first, but the men had eventually fallen into a new rhythm.  Even if those around them couldn’t place a sure finger on it, they could sense a difference in the brother’s relationship as well; the two men joking around and otherwise at ease together gradually became a normal sight.  

Oddly enough, the slight change in their environment and their exchanging of tokens seemed to be the reason behind the positive change.  One day, Yancy caught Raleigh fiddling absently with the tags around his neck while talking to a fellow Jaeger pilot, and from that point on, Yancy was a lot calmer when interacting with his brother.  This was especially clear when the brothers were alone in their room.  There was still touching and Yancy still sometimes took his brother to bed, but now there were also days where Yancy found himself content enough to just have Raleigh’s attention, and those were the times where they would just sit on one of their beds and talk for hours over some cans of beer.

These advancements they made in their relationship did not come without benefits.  By the time the Kaiju by the name of Knifehead emerged from the breach, the Becket brothers were considered one of the strongest and most effective teams ever commissioned by the PPDC.

“ _Gipsy Danger.  Report to Bay 08.  Level A-42.  Kaiju.  Codename: Knifehead.  Category Three.”_

Raleigh groaned in his bed.  He bolted right out of it as soon as all the information caught up to his brain.  A smile started to form on his face.

“Yo, Yancy!  Wake up!  Movement in the breach!” Raleigh said with excitement.

He smacked his hands all around Yancy’s head and when that didn’t work, he gently pat his brother’s face.  Finally, he cupped his brother’s face with his hands and pressed their cheeks together, grinning.

“Hey!  Come on!  We’re being deployed!”

Yancy groaned and smacked away his brother’s hands as he started to wake.  “Mm...right...good morning.”

Raleigh’s tone was chipper when he responded.  “Morning!”

Yancy dropped down from the top bunk.  Raleigh scrambled to get a change of clothes.

“Kaiju’s a Category Three!” said Raleigh.  “Biggest one yet!”

Yancy sighed and rubbed at his face.  If he had been more awake, he might have chuckled at his brother’s overdramatization of the Kaiju’s name.

“Codename…?   _Knifehead_ …”

Yancy massaged the back of his neck, eyes still closed.  “Nn...what time is it?”

“Two!” Raleigh said happily while putting on a shirt.

Yancy’s eyes popped open.  “ _A.M.?_ ”

Raleigh smiled at his brother as he briefly looked up from his shirt.  “Yup!”

He walked up to his brother as Yancy was starting to make his way to their bathroom.  Raleigh held up his hand for a fist bump.  

“What d’ya say?” he asked.  “Another notch on the belt?”

Yancy was too tired to execute the handshake perfectly, not that Raleigh seemed to care.  Yancy practically missed the entire thing and he was still punching lightly at nothing even after his brother had already hopped away from him.  Yancy then walked into their bathroom.  He turned around and leaned on the doorframe, smiling at Raleigh’s backside.

“Hey, kid!” he called out.

Raleigh stopped and turned to look at his brother.  “Yeah?”

Yancy smirked and told his brother the same thing his friend Kyle had told him years earlier.  “Don’t get cocky.”

Raleigh smiled and Yancy shut the door.  In several minutes, they were ready—they donned their trademark matching jackets and were out the door, headed towards the loading bay.  There, they exchanged friendly greetings with their friend Tendo before syncing to their Jaeger.  Their orders from Pentecost were straightforward and simple; hold the Miracle Mile, and ignore the civilian vessel.  

After they had been told not to save the men on the stray boat, Yancy muted his mic and looked down as he muttered.  “Man...that’s cold.”

He heard his younger brother’s thoughts over the Drift.  “ _That’s messed up.  We should get them.”_

Raleigh looked over at Yancy after muting his own mic.  “You know what  _I’m_ thinking.”

Yancy lips quirked into a small smile.  “I’m in your brain.   _I know._ ”

Raleigh gave his brother a slight nod.  “Then let’s go fishing.”

The brothers then had a brief exchange over the Drift.  The conversation occurred in a matter of seconds before the men finalized their decision.

“ _You sure, Rals?”_

“ _I’m confident we can take it...you doubting our abilities, Yance?”_

“ _No, kid…ready when you are._

“ _Then let’s move!”_

Yancy gave his brother a small smile and the two of them pushed Gipsy Danger forward.  Raleigh was too excited so he didn’t notice, but there was a sense of foreboding weighing in the back of Yancy’s mind.

That ominous feeling only increased in intensity when the brothers faced off against the Kaiju and it seemed like the beast was getting the upperhand.  Yancy felt his younger brother’s frustration toward his feelings of worry.

“ _Come on, Yance!  Don’t freeze on me!  We’ve got this!  Fire up the Plasmacaster!”_

“ _Right,”_ Yancy thought as he commanded their Jaeger to pull its right arm back so that it could charge the cannon.

“Come on!  Do it!” Raleigh shouted.

“I’m doing it, hold on!” Yancy said as he aimed the Plasmacaster and fired it on Knifehead at the very last second, sending the beast plummeting into the ocean.

For a moment, it looked like they had won.  While the Beckets were celebrating in their minds, their marshal’s angry voice cut through their communications overhead.

“ _Gipsy!  What the_ _ **hell**_ _is going on?”_

Raleigh leaned forward and turned his mic on.  “Job’s done, sir!  Lit it up twice!  Bagged our fifth kill!”

Pentecost was unamused and growled back.  “ _You disobeyed a direct order!”_

Yancy flipped his mic on as well.  “Respectfully, sir!  We intercepted a Kaiju and saved everyone on that boat!”

The marshal was not swayed.  “ _Get back to your post!_ _ **Now!**_ ”

“Yes, sir!” Raleigh said back, grinning.

Before they were able to grab the civilian vessel and be on their way, Marshal Pentecost’s voice crackled urgently through their communications again.  “ _Gipsy!  We’re still getting a signature!”_

Raleigh frowned and quickly hit some buttons.  The breathing of both brothers began to increase.

“ _Oh shit…”_ Yancy thought.

“ _No!  Stay focused, Yance!”_ Raleigh thought back.  “ _Nothing’s happened yet!”_

Unfortunately, Yancy’s subconscious didn’t seem to agree.  The brother’s neural connection wavered as Yancy had brief flashbacks from the last time they had fought a Kaiju that was a Category Three.   _Yamarashi.  Tango Tasmania.  Kyle and Ethan.  Dead._

“ _No, Yancy!”_ Raleigh thought with disapproval.  “ _Don’t think like that!  Come on!”_

Pentecost continued to shout at them frantically.  “ _That Kaiju is still alive!  Grab the boat and get out of there!  Do you copy?  Grab the boat, and get out of there now!”_

The brothers move, but their reaction time had slowed some due to Yancy having thrown them slightly out of alignment.  Yancy barely managed to pull himself together when Knifehead suddenly rose from the depths and crashed into them.  With Raleigh’s help, the brothers were able to intercept the Kaiju’s blow in time before it could crush their Jaeger’s metal with its teeth.  In the Conn-Pod, the brothers exchanged a tense glance.

“Ready to take it on?” Raleigh asked.

Yancy nodded.  “I got this!”

The brothers pulled their left arm back simultaneously, and Raleigh commanded their left Plasmacaster to charge.  Before the cannon could finish charging, however, the Kaiju speared and bit off the Jaeger’s arm.  His neural sensors being connected with the Jaeger, he could feel the tear as if the Kaiju had torn off his actual arm, and Raleigh clutched at his left arm as he screamed in pain.  

“ _Raleigh!”_ Yancy shouted in their minds.

“ _Augh!  Shit, Yancy!  It hurts!  It hurts so much!”_

“ _I know...I know kid, I feel it too, but come on, you’ve got to stay with me here!”_

Their thought process is interrupted when the Kaiju suddenly speared its head through the opening it had created.  Both brothers jumped.

“Whoa!  It went through the hole!” Raleigh screamed.

Yancy’s thought was a strange contradictory fusion of panic and calm.  “ _Oh..._ _ **shit**_ _.”_

The memory of Ethan and Kyle’s last moments briefly surfaced once again in their minds.  Raleigh’s eyes widened.

“ _No...no!  Yancy!  No!”_ Raleigh thought in a panic.  

Everything that happened next seemed to go in slow motion.  Yancy turned and looked at Raleigh.

“Raleigh, listen to me!  Listen—”

“ _Do_ _ **not**_ _allow yourself to go into shock like Ethan did!  Finish it off, Rals!  I know you can!  I love you, kid.  You’ve always deserved better.  I’m so sor—”_

The Kaiju reached its hand in, and Raleigh shouted at it.  “No!  Stop!”

Both brothers simultaneously screamed as Knifehead pulled Yancy out of the cockpit and tossed him away like he was nothing.  Raleigh roared with frustration, tears stinging his eyes as he put all his effort into focusing on continuing to single-handedly pilot what was left of Gipsy Danger, without his brother.  There was a feeling of intense pressure that seemed to want to crush in his skull, but Raleigh refused to succumb.  If nothing else, his brother was right in his last words.  If Raleigh wanted to stand a chance of living, then he could _not_ go into shock like Ethan Bentley had when piloting Tango Tasmania.

With tears stinging his eyes, he somehow managed to activate the Jaeger’s remaining Plasmacaster, and defeated the Kaiju with one final blast.  The surge was enough to terminate any signals being sent to LOCCENT, and as far as the people back at the Shatterdome knew, Gipsy Danger was lost and the Becket brothers were dead.  

It wasn’t clear how Raleigh managed to drag the badly damaged Jaeger all the way to shore, but he did.  When he reached land, he lost all his momentum and Gipsy Danger collapsed, just barely missing an old man and his grandson who had been walking along the Alaskan coastline with the intent to ice fish.  When the Jaeger fell, Raleigh was thrown out of his pilot’s chair, and for a moment he was too disoriented to move.  Eventually though, he managed to crawl out of the cockpit and walked unsteadily away from the Jaeger.  

Raleigh barely noticed the old man by his side and couldn’t at all make out anything that he was saying.  The only thing his mind was full of was his brother.

“Yancy…” Raleigh whispered.  “... _Yancy_.”

The world seemed to spin and Raleigh collapsed on his back.  Tears flowed from his eyes as he looked up towards the sky.   From his peripheral, he could tell the man was still there, and he was still saying words, but Raleigh wasn’t listening and he just didn’t care.

“ _Yancy…”_ he thought to himself as he slowly began to lose consciousness.  “ _Yancy...Yancy...Yancy...Yancy..._ _ **Yance**_ … _!”_

Raleigh wasn’t ready to accept it; not yet.  Even though the silence was deafening.  Even knowing that his brother was dead, and that he was never going to answer Raleigh ever again.  In the Drift or otherwise.  

As he slipped out of consciousness, Raleigh’s last coherent thought was the hope that when he woke up, it would be by his brother’s side in the next life.  Unfortunately, when Raleigh woke up a few days later, he was in a hospital room and hooked up to some IVs.  The first thing he notices, almost immediately upon waking, is the unpleasant hollow feeling in his head.  The second thing he notices is the person at his side, Herc Hansen, hovering over his bed.

Raleigh made no attempt to speak, so Herc began their conversation.  “Hey there, Raleigh…!  How do you feel?”

Raleigh sighed and whispered.  “Like shit…”

Herc half-smiled.  “Well...I suppose that’s to be expected.  You’re incredibly lucky to be alive, kid.”

Raleigh tensed.   _Kid.  That was what Yancy sometimes called him.  Yancy was gone.  Yancy was dead._ Raleigh closed his eyes, and the tears flowed in a steady stream down the side of his face through the cracks.  He barely felt Herc grip a hand around his wrist, gently.

“I...I can still hear his voice...what he said to me...his last words, in the Drift,” Raleigh whispered weakly.

Herc didn’t respond, so Raleigh continued.  “He told me not to go into shock...I guess he was thinking about what happened to Kyle and Ethan…”

“The deceased pilots of Tango Tasmania?” Herc asked.

Raleigh nodded, eyes still closed.  “Y-yeah...Kyle was one of my brother’s best friend’s growing up.”

Herc nodded.  “I see.”

“Kyle died on site,” said Raleigh.  “Impaled clean through by a metal piece from the Jaeger…”

“And his partner?”

“Ethan was still alive at first, but...his condition deteriorated rapidly,” said Raleigh.  “You should know this as well as I do.  When a pilot dies while still connected to the other via the Drift, usually the co-pilot doesn’t end up making it…”

“Yes...I’ve heard that to be the case,” Herc confirmed.  

Raleigh opened his eyes and looked at the older man then, his eyes clearly reflecting his anguish.  “So then...how is it that I’m still alive, sir?”

The older man shook his head.  “That...I do not know.”

Raleigh let out a sigh and looked away, staring blankly out the hospital windows.  “You know...the Drift is amazing.  You can tell a person so many things, so much faster than when you’re talking out loud...and yet...sometimes even that’s not enough time.”

“He said more to you, then?” Herc asked.

Raleigh nodded.  “Yeah...I just wish that there had been enough time for me to say something back.”

“What else did he tell you?”

“...that he loved me,” Raleigh said, after a pause.  “And you know what…?  As messed up as things were sometimes, between us…”

“...you loved him too,” Herc finished for him.

Raleigh nodded and shut his eyes again, pushing out some more tears.  His voice shook when he spoke.

“Yeah...I mean, I know how crazy it sounds, but…”

“It’s all right,” said Herc.  “Love doesn’t have to make sense.”

Raleigh turned to look at Herc and chuckled bitterly.  “It doesn’t...does it?”

Herc shook his head sympathetically.  “No.”

“He told me I deserved better,” Raleigh said, a slight edge to his voice.  “He was always saying things like that, really…”

Herc half-smiled.  “And you didn’t agree?”

“Never,” said Raleigh.  “Our relationship was far from perfect, but it didn’t have to be.”

Raleigh turned his head back to the windows again, facing away from Herc.  His eyebrows furrowed together and creased to form a frown.

“And you know what he had the gall to say to me…?” Raleigh asked softly.  “I mean, granted, he never got to finish his words, but…”

“But…?”

Raleigh let out a sigh.  “He tried to tell me he was sorry.”

“Ah.”

“Of course he never got a chance to say what for,” Raleigh said tightly.  “Not that it matters.”

“...it bothers you,” Herc said after a while.

“Of course it does…” Raleigh said with a whisper.  

The two men then fell into silence.  After a few minutes, Raleigh’s fingers curled around some of his sheets.  The young man’s body shook, and Herc knew even before hearing the strain in the blonde’s voice that Raleigh was crying again.

“ _...I’ve never wanted his apologies.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve found that the only good thing about Yancy’s death scene is that it leaves half of the conversation up to interpretation—the part of the conversation that the Becket boys must undoubtedly be having in their minds, since the story implies that they can totally talk to each other that way. The fact that we don’t know what they’re saying to each other in those last moments means that writers can totally write the scene in about a thousand different ways, and given that their brotherly scenes are so limited, I have no doubt that as I’m filling all these fic requests, I’m probably going to have the opportunity to write that conversation over and over again, and differently each time. It’ll be interesting to see how many different exchanges I can come up with before I run out of ideas.
> 
> Technically, the OP’s prompt ends here. For those of you looking for a happier ending though, I’ve decided to do a continuation/side-story/sequel/alternate ending/whatever you want to call the next story, really, and post it as part two of the series both fics will connect to. Given that this fic can be read as a standalone, it’s totally up to the reader whether or not they want to move on to the other half. Anyway, hope you at least enjoyed the ride up until this point, and hope to see you all again on all the future prompts I fill out for these boys! Feel free to comment here and/or PM me any fic requests! If it seems like something I can do, then I’d be more than happy to work on filling your prompts! Thank you all for your feedback and support thus far!


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